44 Comments

damn it I was trying to think of cool music but realized i am now an Elder at the tender age of thirty-fun aka 31

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Ok but still u know music what’s the cool music PLZ

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WORD BARF WARF

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We cannot, legally, say Warf

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BAT WARF

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STILL TRUSTS PEOPLE

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Used to

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I won real life supermarket sweep by realizing that buying generic frozen pizza from the nearby walmart is two whole dollars cheaper than buying generic frozen pizza from the nearer publix.

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Jesus Christ ur a savant u need to be on the show

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And not a single cow was affected in manufacturing the "cheez"

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I watched some Supermarket Sweep streaming in the first month of the pandemic. I thought it would be a nice fun nostalgia romp, but yes all the terrifying things about the capitalism lessons inside the logic of the game show. But also the bad vibes of insane sweater game combined with openly hitting on female contestants from the host. Super yuck.

My favorite grocery store experience in Southern California is Grocery Outlet. It’s like Big Lots for your grocery experience. I will literally talk to anyone about Grocery Outlet (G.O. for short). When my parents visit from across the country I have to take my dad because he is also sick in the head in the same way as me, loving to shop for the fun deals, or should we say that I got the sickness from him.

Sometimes I like to go to Costco on a Saturday morning, not because I need to (certainly we could wait to buy our giant bags of dog food and frozen mini pizzas until a saner weekday), but because I just like to marvel at the mass of people pushing around their massive carts in search of the grocery and warehouse deals.

Again, sick in the head.

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I love Grocery Outlet!! I deleted a lot of stuff from this piece about SoCal supermarkets that I might turn into its own piece. Like Jons. Do you know Jons? It’s not a Vons ripoff. Its like a family spot, and they bought an old Vons and didn’t wanna pay for all new lettering so they just used the same logo lolol

Also. I have a mega essay about Costco that I want to write. I love that place. It is everything that America is. The good the bad all of it. It is America.

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I kind of hate Costco, but also have a membership and love that I can save big on olive oil, Parmesan cheese and mozzarella and also those dark chocolate JoJos which I hide from every member of my family. Also, I saw someone sporting a Kirkland hoodie the other day. Can that be worn unironicly? I am really curious about this. Also, has anyone seen Sheng Wang’s bit where he jokes about buying Kirkland pants? I thought it was pretty good.

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“Winning the game of life means not only beating everyone, but convincing them that you’re not playing at all.”

I’m stealing that.

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Approved!

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Another great post - thanks, Alex!

4. One which delivers - I'm deeply allergic to in-person grocery shopping: it's a hideous experience, and it's way too easy to overspend. Online, with the running total always visible, is MY kind of shopping!

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Damn I need to do this more. But I love cruising the aisles. Also its prolly the #1 way to kill time w Wilder lol

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I'll bet he loves all the action in a supermarket, right? In which case, yeah, in-person shopping is probably much more fun for you guys!

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hahah yea exactly its the best distraction in the world as of now

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I had one of those Goosebumps pens. Have not even thought about it for about a quarter of a century or so...

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Until now. SPOOOOOKY

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1. Yes. I'm old enough to have enjoyed it. Expensive stuff. Especially in Canada right now, start with the meat. Yikes these days.

2. One of my favourite shows was Liars Club. A panel of people and you have to guess who isn't lying. Hashtag, life skills.

3. Does deciding to answer people foe the day in the form of questions count? Yes. Jeopardy, both real and SLN versions.

4. Not a fan of supermarkets. For reasons.

5. An interesting question. Have to get back to this one...

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I don’t remember Liar’s club. It sounds dope. Did you ever watch The Mole? That show was amazing.

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Watch? No, but I remember people talking about it. Sounded like the game werewolf where people have to guess who the werewolves are. I've never been a fan of survivor shows. They just seem too antisocial for me. Training people to vote people out of the group for arbitrary reasons. I can see the appeal they would have, but they seem kinda evil

Googled it and it looks like Netflix revived it. Might as well see what I missed I guess.

Does the US have a version of Last One Laughing? Basically it's a room full of comedians trying not to laugh. If you laugh you get eliminated.

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The mole was sorta different. It had two teams, and one player on each team was A MOLE secretly working for the other team. Each round they tried to vote out the mole I think. Anderson Cooper hosted it lol.

Last one laughing sounds incredible I’ve never heard of that

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Growing up we had a lot of game shows on screen, mostly syndicated from the States but nothing could beat the magnificent mess that was Takeshis Castle. We even based real life kids games in the neighborhood based on it.

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What is that???

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9tC3Fsl_fvg - it's this whacky Japanese game show from the late 80s, where contestants needed to get through a long obtacle course. Apparently, there are more people who have been to the moon who have won this game.

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i am too young to remember supermarket sweep, so i recommend Mipso's entire discography

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i keep hearing about this band! ok i willl listen

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Alex -- your posts are amazing and seem to come from the deep recesses of your mind. It must be a funny place. I have been wandering the rock for more than 22700 days (yep a stupid math problem) and somehow missed Supermarket Dash or whatever it was called. You painted a funny picture and engaged us with an even funnier conclusion!!!

I CANNOT WAIT for the Costco story. Here’s my REAL SHORT version. As newlyweds, we lived in a little beach town in Central California. It was adjacent to a college town. There was very little retail unless you wanted a peach-colored shirt that said PISMO BEACH, CA. The locals, who knew what they were doing, advised we should check out CostCo just down the 101. We joined, of course, and enjoyed evaluating what was on the adjacent sled. I still remember one of the first trips a person had an ungodly sized box of toilet paper. I said (thinking I whispered) to my wife, if you need that much toilet paper you should see a doctor. We got a glare and checked out with our monster-sized muffins the size of a medium dog head. Fast-forward to today and we belong again despite being empty nesters. I still enjoy the impulsive mixture of random nonsense in people’s carts or sleds. The people-watching all by itself makes the membership cost worthwhile. The last time I was there a person had the “family size” Neosporin – enough to start an urgent care clinic. Silly but ALWAYS fun.

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hahahahahaha god damn mark that's funny

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very few things funny as truth in the wild -- before you write your story, do yourself a favor and visit the Costco "Business Center" -- It's only, I think in very large cities so while there is one in the Twin Cities, the next one going west is in Denver. It is where the savvy shoppers and stockers are buying the stuff that ends up in vending machines (or probably small family marts at obscene markups. I go there OCCASIONALLY on behalf of my non-profit where I manage a library. A cross-section of humanity that is fun to see. I didn't take photos when I was last there but there was a 25 or 30 lb box of raisins WTF -- back to vacation

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omg what. do you need a certain type of membership?

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Seriously just go in if you can. I think they give you a $25 shopping card if you take a tour! It doesn't have the same stuff as the regular store. My favorite dream imagination is there are people posing as businesses just so they can buy these crazy large packs of shit and pretend they need 100 bags of pretzels. I believe you can go in there with a regular membership but am not sure. I have a membership for the library separately. When I read Cafe Anne and every time she goes into a Bodega the Lorna Doones are $5, I imagine there is someone going to Costco Business Center and sending their kid to Stanford on the margins. Costco is a bit of a cult and the people-watching is OOTW

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hahahhaha ok yea I need to figure out if I can go by myself

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My favorite game show is the actual supermarket. Especially in NYC before a snow storm. People freak out so hard and put the wildest shit in their cart!

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haahhahaha

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dear alex,

thank you as always for this/that/these/those!

1) Did you watch supermarket sweep? what would your strategy be if you played today?

i did not.

2) What other game shows did / do you love?

my grandmother always watched jeopardy, wheel of fortune, and the price is right. so i watched those a lot with her. i also enjoy press your luck and pyramid.

3) Have the rules of any games or game shows infiltrated your life?

i think about plinko a lot with respect to how fate works. before the plinko chip is released, there are infinite possibilities of where it could go. once the plinko chip has landed, you can see exactly what path it took.

4) What’s your fav supermarket and why?

the park slope food coop because it's near my home and a non-profit.

5) If you had to create a game that taught people about how to actually be decent human beings, what sort of game would it be ?

i have an idea for a game that might fit this description and either way i'll share it: it's called "no point(s)." and maybe it can be played in lots of ways, but i'll share it through a softball filter. sometimes when playing softball at summer camp, kids would ask "what's the score?" a lot. so in "no point(s)," if you ask what the score is, you lose a point. the team that asks what the score is the least wins! if they're tied, they both win. i haven't worked out all the details yet but that's it so far!

thanks for asking!

love,

myq

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omg dude PLINKO i love that shit. I can hear it so clearly in my head that sound plink plink

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"I was even awarded most improved cashier in 2004." Ha ha ha!!! Awesome.

Q3: Jeopardy in some ways; I thought it was funny to say "What is Nothing" when asked 'what's for breakfast?' Or "what is You tell me," or "what is Whatever you get yourself." That kind of thing, which has since been pointed out is passive aggressive, though I don't actually think there's anything passive about it.

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I used to watch Supermarket Sweep when I was home from school sick, along with Price is Right and Shop Til You Drop. I think I enjoy watching game shows more as an adult, because I think more about the strategy element and can relate more to the adult contestants.

Game shows I currently watch: the new Supermarket Sweep with Lesley Jones, Holey Moley, Wipeout, The Floor is Lava, and my absolute favorite, the new Press Your Luck.

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