wherein we discuss family and its discontents
also to be clear this is going on ALL DAY so ask your questions whenever you goofballs
EDIT: After a full week or so I answered ALL the questions - no more new ones till the next yama maya babes
Hi Alex! Idk if I can legally participate in these since we work together but consider me a lawbreaker bc I have a question about (starting a) family! So here I am. Lately I've been reading a lot of Jane Ratcliffe's interviews with various creative, loving, wise, smart folks, most of whom are older than us by a generation or so and most of whom have children, and there is this clear-as-day message of hope in all of their conversations. Literally all of them say very similar things on the subject of hope, without Jane prompting them. It's a message that's like: we gotta keep putting in the work for future generations; we're not gonna fix everything or get it all right, but we gotta keep trying for the people who come next, and our life gets better by trying, too. Now, I'm not saying I'm belly-up, towel thrown. And I'm not saying I don't agree - I do! Wholeheartedly! Ripple effects! We gotta try! But I AM saying that I'm really scared. I'm scared to be hopeful enough to start a family of my own or enough to even be thrilled when friends and siblings start their own families. Truthfully, I just feel scared for everyone and their kids. I know this fear doesn't help anyone and it's holding me back and blah blah. I've read the Brene Brown books. I've heard the wisdom on daring greatly and living bravely. I can even point to a good few instances where I've succeeded in doing so. But my question for you is: as someone with a child, how did you get so brave as to hope for their future and their children's future? Not just your own future of 5 minutes or 50 years from now, but brave enough that you can hold hope for the generations to come?
Who is your second-favorite Madeline?
Why do you want your son to think you are cool? If he thinks you are cool he will never leave home. Teenagers are supposed to think their parents are dumb. It is how we get rid of them er, I mean encourage their independence in a healthy way.
Why do we grow up trying not to be like our parents and then end up becoming like our parents?
There's this Jim Gaffigan joke I love about what it feels like to have a third kid. He says, "It's like you're drowning. And someone throws you a baby."
But what if I already feel like I'm drowning sometimes? I know you know the gist of my sitch (that was kind of a cool rhyme, btw), but for others reading this, I have a 14 yo stepdaughter and an almost 5 yo daughter who has cerebral palsy. We aren't planning on having another kid, though. So my question is really how do I do all the things I want to do in life while also not totally dropping the ball and not being there for my family?
Do you have a entertainment/literary agent?
my parents are dead and i dont have KIDS wtf!!! feel like red headed step child here but crashed anyways ask away
Has Hollywood called you yet?
Need more chaos? When will Wilder get a sibling?
Now that I know where you are from, I can ask the question: What is your favorite heritage food/dish? 2 questions: What is your mother’s best dish?
I have one answer for all three of your questions. A family acid trip. Loved it both times. Question for you: What are the pros and cons of raising a child in America?
I had no idea this was only for paying subscribers. I feel infinitely cool now. My question: how do you come to terms with bad decisions people in your family make when you know you definitely know better and even do the favor of telling them so and yet they still refuse to listen?
Ok. So I’m so curious about your first question about grappling with parents as they are vs. who we want them to be. It’s something I’m curious about how you think about for all humans really, but I see the urgency of grappling with that for parents. Also, how are you thinking about grappling with who Wilder is/will be vs. who you want him to be (consciously or subconsciously)? I’m thinking about ways I wish my parents would see me on my terms vs their own - so the reverse of your original question.
Long time admirer, first-time subscriber/question asker here! What would you say is both the secret to your success/longetivty and your favorite curse word?
I watched an interview with Amy Schumer a few years back and she said before her child was born that they aren't concerned with how the baby self-identifies, just as long as it's not self-identifying as a DJ. Is there anything you DON'T want your kid to become?