Lauren and I have a rule called 70/30. Well, Lauren created the rule, and I abide by it.
“70/30,” she’ll say, meaning I’m goofing too hard and violating the “70% bits, 30% serious” understanding that sustains our relationship.
Frankly, I can’t believe I got such a good deal.
70% goofs?! I’ve got friends that’d kill for a mere 30% yuck-em-up time.
I am a lucky man, and I know it.
And yet, still, I sometimes find myself entering the forbidden territory of 71% and up.
Sometimes, and I say this as a religious man, the jokes start telling me.
I become nothing more than a vehicle for the funny. Or the attempt at such.
There’s no Section 2.1.A of the contract that reads, “50% of the goofs must be funny.”
I am a lucky man, and I know it.
We’re parents now, Lauren and I, to a little boy. Wilder.
Age 2.75, the child is a comedic talent performing at an age 4 level. Physical comedy is in the bag, impersonations are strong, and there’s even some surreal avant-garde stuff like saying ‘ho ho ho’ very seriously while eating pringles stood up in the bathtub.
I am a lucky man, and I know it.
He is his father’s son. I will teach him all I know.
Our latest obsession: eye rolls.
He’ll roll his eyes up and to the right and I’ll do the same.
“do this,” he says and rolls his eyes up and to the right. I roll my eyes up and to the right.
“no do this,” he says and rolls his eyes up and to the right. I roll my eyes up and to the right.
“no do this,” he says and rolls his eyes up and to the right. I roll my eyes up and to the right.
We repeat this for about 10 full honest american minutes. Lauren watches on as my blatant disregard for 70/30 unfolds before her, handed down from one generation to the next.
Then I make a face that’s slightly different from the eye roll and Wilder screams, “nooooooo, stop dada. don’t be funny!”
And there it is. His first 70/30. His mother’s son, also.
Soon he’ll learn the truth - his mom is way funnier than his dad. His dad just tries much harder.
When asked for comment on the rule just now, Lauren replied, “I’ve said all I need to say,” and walked out of the house.
“It’s all in the numbers,” she added, as an afterthought.
Wilder is a lucky little man, and he nose it.
I got featured in a dope zine about the future of the internet!!!
Honestly this is cool as heck!
If you want an insider’s look at the builders, thinkers, and ideas shaping the future of the web – do yourself a favor and get a copy. They only have 300 and i’m being told that there aren’t many left.
Oh and I got my own lil discount code too: Dobrenko20!
I’ve never had a discount code before. I hope it works everywhere I bet it does try it at your local Apple store I bet it works!
Comments
what’s the comedy vibe in your partnership or dating life or with your friends i don’t care which
do you have a 70/30 rule and if so what are your numbers
do you think ‘the wrong c word’ has legs comedically?
The nose joke at the end - why did I have to do that?
I wanted to get some bit in here about the serenity prayer but making it 70/30 themed. just wanted to let you know.
lord bless the partners of comedians