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i feel inadequate and so does everyone else w/ Ava of bookbear express

why sharing your messy ass self online is hard (and good (and impossible (and necessary)))
A Pinterest pin added by theleonardo on Nov 06, 2024. The author is Dominic Mittiga. May present: you go into a deep conversation, deep conversation, conversation.

I’m writing this from the YMCA lobby where, in front of my little table, sit a tangle of five year olds listening intently to their lifeguard teacher. She’s just asked what the rules are and they’re taking turns answering.

“No diving.” Yes.

“No running.” Correct.

“No pretending to drown.”

The adults in the back laugh and so do some of the kids but the lifeguard says yes, this is a big deal. Kids pretend to drown all the time, likely for the same reason kids do most things - to get attention.

To be seen.

To have someone sprint toward them and save them. To know they are worthy of being saved.

It’s the same reason we write. To feel seen. Witnessed.

So too with great conversations - the kind you get so lost in that you end up finding yourself.

That’s how this convo with one of my fav writers on Substack,

’s , felt.

We get into it and out and back again. As BATCAVE legend

said after, Ava got me to talk a lot more about myself than is normal in these convos. It was cool.

Watch the whole thing above and lemme know what you think.

A recap of the topics discussed

  • how Ava accidentally became a matchmaker.

  • the endless struggle of checking your Substack stats

  • vulnerability is hard, but what other options do you have?

  • parenthood and relationships and deciding to marry your now wife while on acid at Burning Man.

  • you feel shame, just like everyone else, and that is good news indeed


WATCH PAST BATLIVES

Part comedy, part philosophy, and 100% a cry for help, BATLIVE is Alex Dobrenko and guests talking about creativity, culture, chaos and other stuff too. It’s deep, it’s dumb, it's basically group therapy -- what could possibly go wrong?!

Watch all past shows here.

BAT LIVE

comedic catastrophes (The Chatfield x Dobrenko Tapes)

comedic catastrophes (The Chatfield x Dobrenko Tapes)

You know that feeling when you’re a little intimidated by someone on the internet but also feel like you’d probably become good pals if you just sorta talked to one another?

BAT LIVE

why can't i call people even tho i want to

why can't i call people even tho i want to

Michael Estrin is one of my oldest Substack friends. He's a good friend.

BAT LIVE

we're all just watching the numbers with jelly donuts dribbling down our shirts

we're all just watching the numbers with jelly donuts dribbling down our shirts

I feel like somebody on the park bench on a Sunday morning eating a jelly donut and like dribbling it on herself while other people like jauntily scurry by.


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what ppl are saying

“I love that it feels like a safe, creative space. Also love Alex’s writing tips—they’re really very provocative and useful.”

“Alex is just 10005% himself, so it’s not like this super rigid, stuffy writer thing. You can bring your messiness and fart jokes and somehow manage to be productive.”

“CoWriting is magic... cool peeps with cool ideas to hang with makes me wanna write more Gooder.”

“An accountability session where we had two stints of silent writing. Alex offered very clever prompts. Having two sessions was unexpectedly great because it actually felt more like a draft + revision rather than just one draft separated by a break.”

“We chat and then we write, and then we chat and then we write again. It’s great to have two separate writing blocks in the same session, because my brain can relax in between and I feel more ready for the second draft/second session after chatting about the writing in the middle.”

To join the BATCAVE and be part of a community of idiots who are trying to write honest weird stuff, upgrade here:

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