If you’ve found yourself thinking…
Alex? He’s a good writer. I like his stuff and heck, I even look forward to it. The man deserves to be paid for the work he puts in! Also, I worry about the lil guy…all that anxiety, and for what? I wanna support him I do!
But man there’s so much to spend money on and so little money to spend. What the doggone am I supposed to do, lord knows I try!
Now if say hypothetically, Alex threw in a couple Grade A vintage t-shirts of some sort or other, well now that’d be a different story altogether.
That’d be news I could use! Yep, if I could get two vintage t-shirts by becoming a BAT paying subscriber, I’d do it in a *points to chest* heartbeat.
then friend have I got some news you can use.
backstory
A couple years back, Lauren started a little vintage t-shirt business called What’s In The Box. Idea was simple - you pay 35 bones and, based on your answers to a super scientific quiz we sent you, we’d ship you two vintage t-shirts that matched the vibe of your answers.
I tweeted about it and it sorta blew up and we got a lot of orders.
Lauren became a vintage t-shirt shark and sold a bunch.
A bunch more have been sitting in our garage ever since.
And since we’re moving, that means the next 13 people who become paid BATheads will receive…..
two (2) free vintage t-shirts with BAT yearly subscription!!!
And that includes free shipping in the continental USA and, depending on cost, Hawaii and Alaska too idgaf. (Outside of USA let’s just talk and figure out how anything gets shipped over there i dont think they’ve solved it yet).
You read that right. This is crazy. So call me maybe.
By which I mean become a BAT paying subscriber!
Not only will you get the warmest of cozy fuzzies for supporting an independent writer AND access to paid subscriber only Help Wanted essays like this and this twice a month + access to the entire Help Wanted archive + you’ll also get two frikkin shirts.
how it works
I’ve worked Black Friday before so I know how crazy things get when there’s a not enough Samsung HDTVs to go around…
We need a system, and I’ve got one:
There is a spreadsheet I made with each available bundle of shirts on it based on size. GOING BY HONOR CODE, if you get a paid subscribership, you can then run over to the spreadsheet and put in your name in any available slot.
I’m gonna be watching the spreadsheet like a baby hawk and will confirm all names in GREEN.
So, if there’s a name in the slot, that slot is taken.
No name, go for it.
BUT IF YOU SEE THE WORD ‘NO’ then do not even think about putting your name there.
If I see any goofing around or god forbid claiming a slot when you have NOT yet paid, fire and brimstone brother, fire and brimstone.
what if I don’t want a shirt?
Then get outta dodge, ya d*rtwad.
No I’m of course simply messing around.
For anyone who gets their rocks off by loitering around in a public spreadsheet, I’ve created a whole big blue area for you to mess around. You can write anything in either of the blue areas I thought they were the same but they’re not.
Don’t write anything dumb or I’ll scream.
a lil story
Someone brought up their AIM screen name the other day, which reminded me of 8th grade. I was ‘wolfpacknw’ on AIM because ‘wolfpacknwo,’ which stood for Wolfpack NWO (New World Order), was taken.
My friend Matt messages me - “hey it’s Matt, I got a new screen name sup?’
And I look at his screen name and I go, ‘uh oh.’
See, Matt thought himself a bit of a rapper and, well, he was a kid, so he went with ‘kidrapper53.’
Except he misspelled rapper, so…
a genuinely useful tip!
Wanna create a new google doc? Just type ‘doc.new’ into the URL bar and bam, you’ve got a new doc!!
Want a new spreadsheet? Click clack ‘sheet.new’ into the URL bar and bam, you’ve got a new sheet.
Presentation thing? slides.new
comments
AIM screen name?
Vintage t-shirts?
good tip?
A) ballerinababe556
My name was MrNice5639. Still don’t know why 😂