This one has my heart. I love to see how playful and generous you are with yourself, even though your writing and humor have evolved. Sasha would be proud, for sure. It's almost like he wrote it for you :)
Alex, looove this idea of revisiting earlier work and commenting on how inept you were… but also how smart! so good to see you can be gentle with your younger self.
I really like this format. I can think of two other things I've read that include past voice and future voice: Ursula le Guin's essay on The Left Hand of Darkness- Is Gender Necessary? Redux; and John Higgs' book about the KLF which was recently re-released with his sarcastic self-commentary in footnotes.
Re. What people think: I am trying to care less. I think often about Orwell's essay Why I Write: he gives as his number one motive "Sheer egoism. Desire to seem clever, to be talked about, to be remembered after death, to get your own back on grown-ups who snubbed you in childhood, etc., etc. It is humbug to pretend this is not a motive, and a strong one."
Later in the essay he says "All writers are vain, selfish, and lazy, and at the very bottom of their motives there lies a mystery. Writing a book is a horrible, exhausting struggle, like a long bout of some painful illness. One would never undertake such a thing if one were not driven on by some demon whom one can neither resist or understand. For all one knows that demon is simply the same instinct that makes a baby squall for attention."
the KLF book is one of my fav books of all time and I was thinking EARLIER TODAY about how its time to re-read it!!!!! I had no idea Higgs did a new version with commentary though holy shit
truly that book is the best.
also jesus George are you ok bud?? poor lil guy needs a hug
When I was reading the KLF book a friend in the UK had just sent me a parcel full of random stuff- including a vintage map of Cape Wrath, where they pushed the car off the cliff. It's now on my wall
I’m new to writing, but not life. I wish I could have had your essay to read years 50 ago. I love the feedback I’ve received because it’s all been positive. Be you, not someone you think other people require. 🦕
That video is scrumptious. That would be hilarious if you put it on your reel. My first acting resume had Feature Player in Bunky the Bear and the Gypsy Affair.
My brother says the best thing he learned from 2 years in art school is how to receive and give feedback. I am terrible at receiving feedback--I get defensive and assume it's an attack on me as a person. Working on it tho because I am hopish.
ETA: have you seen the cartoon short Bambi Meets Godzilla?
It's a very short animation from the early 70s, I think? I saw it when my mom took me to see Star Trek blooper reels at San Jose State as a kid before the Internet existed. Probably on YouTube or Vimeo now.
Wait…I never said your writing sucked, I just said we’ve both gotten better. But does that mean you’re saying MY writing sucked back then?!?!? That’s it, gimme your address, I’m countersuing.
On your question 1 = I have a very good relationship with positive feedback.
On question 7 = I started making books of my one liner jokes/observations six years ago and I gave a book of a each years work to friends and family as a holiday gift. I was encouraged by many to write my jokes down. I took this as a compliment, but in hindsight it might have been a consequence of me driving my friends and family crazy, i.e. Pat, you should write this stuff down and send them in compilation books = (Interpretation) = you can stop telling us these jokes everyday. Put them in books and we will read them. This sounds suspect. Anyway, I did think getting a few hundred one liners in a book per year would be exhausting to read and really takes the fun out of comedy, so I needed to find a format that I could drip feed one joke a day. My daughter and son introduced me to Substack.
On other = Many like to think we are not sensitive to how our work is received, but I do have a sensitivity to this. However, I learned how not to be obsessed, and how to learn from others on how to improve and focus on the joy I get from creating.
lol love this. I've done a similar thing (annotated an old work that made me cringe a bit). I revisit old work sometimes and actually I had a convo with a friend of mine about doing a series of works (multimedia) that were all old / new dialogues - I have tons of unfinished paintings Idk WHEN ill return to.
Meanwhile, I concur with the hordes that this was a great piece on its own, but made all the better knowing how you write today. I wouldn't cut the beginning though. Because 100% we define ourselves (to addiction levels, truly) by the 1-2 *seminal* events in our young lives. In fact, I'd read an entire collection of short stories that asked folks to describe Their Event and its effects in 300 words or less (1-minute read). Working title: "Nutshells" — because the idiom, because shells are crunchy and sharp, because shells hide, because nuts are packed full of good nutrients.
That reflection on your reflection on Murukami's reflection was a nice trip! Makes me wonder if I too could go back to my first 'real' article on my blogger blog and open it to self-feedback.
This one has my heart. I love to see how playful and generous you are with yourself, even though your writing and humor have evolved. Sasha would be proud, for sure. It's almost like he wrote it for you :)
I totally agree 🥹
Alex, looove this idea of revisiting earlier work and commenting on how inept you were… but also how smart! so good to see you can be gentle with your younger self.
Totally agree, Debbie. I loved this one!
I really like this format. I can think of two other things I've read that include past voice and future voice: Ursula le Guin's essay on The Left Hand of Darkness- Is Gender Necessary? Redux; and John Higgs' book about the KLF which was recently re-released with his sarcastic self-commentary in footnotes.
Re. What people think: I am trying to care less. I think often about Orwell's essay Why I Write: he gives as his number one motive "Sheer egoism. Desire to seem clever, to be talked about, to be remembered after death, to get your own back on grown-ups who snubbed you in childhood, etc., etc. It is humbug to pretend this is not a motive, and a strong one."
Later in the essay he says "All writers are vain, selfish, and lazy, and at the very bottom of their motives there lies a mystery. Writing a book is a horrible, exhausting struggle, like a long bout of some painful illness. One would never undertake such a thing if one were not driven on by some demon whom one can neither resist or understand. For all one knows that demon is simply the same instinct that makes a baby squall for attention."
ROSIE WHAT THE HELL!!!!
the KLF book is one of my fav books of all time and I was thinking EARLIER TODAY about how its time to re-read it!!!!! I had no idea Higgs did a new version with commentary though holy shit
truly that book is the best.
also jesus George are you ok bud?? poor lil guy needs a hug
Did you know John Higgs is on Substack? https://substack.com/@johnhiggs
When I was reading the KLF book a friend in the UK had just sent me a parcel full of random stuff- including a vintage map of Cape Wrath, where they pushed the car off the cliff. It's now on my wall
I’m new to writing, but not life. I wish I could have had your essay to read years 50 ago. I love the feedback I’ve received because it’s all been positive. Be you, not someone you think other people require. 🦕
I think that shoe is coming back, would wear it with a tiny black hat. And circular shades like that of John lennons.
That video is scrumptious. That would be hilarious if you put it on your reel. My first acting resume had Feature Player in Bunky the Bear and the Gypsy Affair.
I like your writing style very much! 👏👏
This is fab! I love the self-annotation. I prefer to let my older writing sink into oblivion so I can pretend I've always been this awesome ;)
My brother says the best thing he learned from 2 years in art school is how to receive and give feedback. I am terrible at receiving feedback--I get defensive and assume it's an attack on me as a person. Working on it tho because I am hopish.
ETA: have you seen the cartoon short Bambi Meets Godzilla?
i have not! what is that?
It's a very short animation from the early 70s, I think? I saw it when my mom took me to see Star Trek blooper reels at San Jose State as a kid before the Internet existed. Probably on YouTube or Vimeo now.
Love this! Nice to see how far your writing has come.
Staying motivated by the work rather than the validation is probably the hardest part of writing for me.
Also, I submitted to McSweeney’s for the first time almost exactly six years ago and revisiting that piece last year was…eye opening.
oh so you're saying my writing sucked back then too?????
lemme know ur address i'm gonna file a lawsuit
Wait…I never said your writing sucked, I just said we’ve both gotten better. But does that mean you’re saying MY writing sucked back then?!?!? That’s it, gimme your address, I’m countersuing.
Loved the post.
On your question 1 = I have a very good relationship with positive feedback.
On question 7 = I started making books of my one liner jokes/observations six years ago and I gave a book of a each years work to friends and family as a holiday gift. I was encouraged by many to write my jokes down. I took this as a compliment, but in hindsight it might have been a consequence of me driving my friends and family crazy, i.e. Pat, you should write this stuff down and send them in compilation books = (Interpretation) = you can stop telling us these jokes everyday. Put them in books and we will read them. This sounds suspect. Anyway, I did think getting a few hundred one liners in a book per year would be exhausting to read and really takes the fun out of comedy, so I needed to find a format that I could drip feed one joke a day. My daughter and son introduced me to Substack.
On other = Many like to think we are not sensitive to how our work is received, but I do have a sensitivity to this. However, I learned how not to be obsessed, and how to learn from others on how to improve and focus on the joy I get from creating.
"I have a very good relationship with positive feedback." 😂
lol love this. I've done a similar thing (annotated an old work that made me cringe a bit). I revisit old work sometimes and actually I had a convo with a friend of mine about doing a series of works (multimedia) that were all old / new dialogues - I have tons of unfinished paintings Idk WHEN ill return to.
This was both hilarious and a very good read. Glad you revisited it (with comments).
Hold the phone because I am ALL IN for Bamboo!!
Meanwhile, I concur with the hordes that this was a great piece on its own, but made all the better knowing how you write today. I wouldn't cut the beginning though. Because 100% we define ourselves (to addiction levels, truly) by the 1-2 *seminal* events in our young lives. In fact, I'd read an entire collection of short stories that asked folks to describe Their Event and its effects in 300 words or less (1-minute read). Working title: "Nutshells" — because the idiom, because shells are crunchy and sharp, because shells hide, because nuts are packed full of good nutrients.
Love this idea - Nutshells! Brilliant.
Haha!! Add "drives us nuts" to the reasons why it's cheesily perfect.
i'm ready to pay for Nutshells
Jeepers, what a cutie!
That reflection on your reflection on Murukami's reflection was a nice trip! Makes me wonder if I too could go back to my first 'real' article on my blogger blog and open it to self-feedback.