I was about two blocks away when that subway shot out of the sidewalk and it scared the ever-living crap out of me. My first reaction was that it was a sandworm like in Dune, but then I reminded myself that Dune is just a movie and also it sucked. My second reaction was it was the worm from Tremors because that is totally not just a movie, it is based on real events except with more Bacon.
And then finally I realized it was the subway and I laughed and the people around me laughed and then we all held hands and did a kind of improvised folk dance thing. I made a lot of friends that day, so yay, networking!
If i say something it's very sincere- and then though I might get very shy and decide to hold my peace forever(or until the next day)
I feel awful when I don't get back to people, I was brough up "you answer the letter same day or next day barring emergencies" etc and I took it all to heart so I have this urgency to immediately get back to people(nt all of them expect it or need it, but until they tell me so, I assume)
Once we ,me and a friend, figured out we're both like that, and our long letters each day to each other it's a very exhausting endeavor, taking hours, and I told her:- listen it seems we 're similar in this regard so let's agree if it's not immediate answering, it's fine, nobody dies, we're just taking a breath that's all"
(which reminds me-I actually should write to her. actually, she should write to me, but whatever)
emails though ruined it all a bit...they are different from real letters-I grew up in time of real letters- so one tries to treat them the same, but no, after many years, something snaps.
it made me laugh about "dumb phone" I changed it for the "not dumb" only 3 and a half years ago. Wouldn't change too but folks were too upset with me.
I believe in free will pre-destined..like, both are true(c). I see it as a caleidoscope..there is a frame, stones, color...you can try to shake it to make a pattern, yet to a degree because..and you don't get a different caleidoscope. Something like this.
It's interesting, about fear being a good omen. I'll think on that.
I homeschool my kids, so I regard “networking” as “organizing things to do with our homeschool community”. Thinking of it as seasons is really helpful, as I usually get really mad with myself after I go all in organizing a ton of things, find people with similar needs and interests to my kids, and then it’s super hard and I don’t want to speak to people anymore, and ignore emails and leave things hanging after setting up groups etc. I’m trying to find a way to bring more moderation to that manic all or nothing burnout approach!
Love your writing and your perspective, as always!
My network strategy is nothing. I've played that game, and I lost over and over again. Okay, so I guess it's more like, my strategy is just to be the person I am, meet people if they are where I am, and smile??? Needless to say, I make no money with my writing. Whether dark or eloquent or stupid, funny or honest or brutal, it all just exists, going mostly unnoticed.
It's weird, though. If years ago someone had said that I'd publish a bunch of books and have no money or fan art to show for it, I would have laughed. Me? Being okay not making money? No. Me, who got paid hundred of dollars an hour as a special effects makeup artist. Me, who got the most tips at the movie theatre she worked at. Me, who is now broke and on Disability. No. Not me at all. Money or bust.
And yet, here I am, content. Of course I wish more people read my work, that I'd have people pay for my things, that the writing events I've been to ended in profitable exchanges of information. But wishes are for the birds (the few real ones left—we all know about birds).
“I think we might all be predetermined, including the illusion of free will, which I don't think is a bad thing.”🤯
Pretty sure you’ve been predestined to network with Robert Sapolsky. You should definitely send him a reaaaally vulnerable email and include this 🔥quote
“I hate, I really fucking hate, and I really, really don't like, when someone I don't know asks if I want to swap recommendation on Substack. It kind of drives me crazy.” Right? What are these people thinking?
I’m totally with you about the free will question - that there’s a flavor of predetermination -and yet we can shift out timelines based on our responses (whether we turned our cheek or not) and by engaging in what we love- following ones unique heart to create our version of beauty. Especially lasting beauty- so in addition to meals and makeup.
Both will loosen us from karmic stickiness and leave us on a fuller path with a helluva lot more healthy fun!
As energy waveforms, manifesting both with Gaia’s boson and the universes help (aka astrology - as transiting planets and bodies affect our natal and progressed charts (symbolic for our cross of matter) - energy that comes into our consciousness or collective can be of higher or lower vibrational frequency.
I was about two blocks away when that subway shot out of the sidewalk and it scared the ever-living crap out of me. My first reaction was that it was a sandworm like in Dune, but then I reminded myself that Dune is just a movie and also it sucked. My second reaction was it was the worm from Tremors because that is totally not just a movie, it is based on real events except with more Bacon.
And then finally I realized it was the subway and I laughed and the people around me laughed and then we all held hands and did a kind of improvised folk dance thing. I made a lot of friends that day, so yay, networking!
Yeah building a network requires us to talk to people, and some of us hate that.
I hate networking.
(and mingling. and fundraisers. etcetera)
If i say something it's very sincere- and then though I might get very shy and decide to hold my peace forever(or until the next day)
I feel awful when I don't get back to people, I was brough up "you answer the letter same day or next day barring emergencies" etc and I took it all to heart so I have this urgency to immediately get back to people(nt all of them expect it or need it, but until they tell me so, I assume)
Once we ,me and a friend, figured out we're both like that, and our long letters each day to each other it's a very exhausting endeavor, taking hours, and I told her:- listen it seems we 're similar in this regard so let's agree if it's not immediate answering, it's fine, nobody dies, we're just taking a breath that's all"
(which reminds me-I actually should write to her. actually, she should write to me, but whatever)
emails though ruined it all a bit...they are different from real letters-I grew up in time of real letters- so one tries to treat them the same, but no, after many years, something snaps.
it made me laugh about "dumb phone" I changed it for the "not dumb" only 3 and a half years ago. Wouldn't change too but folks were too upset with me.
I believe in free will pre-destined..like, both are true(c). I see it as a caleidoscope..there is a frame, stones, color...you can try to shake it to make a pattern, yet to a degree because..and you don't get a different caleidoscope. Something like this.
It's interesting, about fear being a good omen. I'll think on that.
*you do not have to reply to this*
I homeschool my kids, so I regard “networking” as “organizing things to do with our homeschool community”. Thinking of it as seasons is really helpful, as I usually get really mad with myself after I go all in organizing a ton of things, find people with similar needs and interests to my kids, and then it’s super hard and I don’t want to speak to people anymore, and ignore emails and leave things hanging after setting up groups etc. I’m trying to find a way to bring more moderation to that manic all or nothing burnout approach!
Love your writing and your perspective, as always!
My network strategy is nothing. I've played that game, and I lost over and over again. Okay, so I guess it's more like, my strategy is just to be the person I am, meet people if they are where I am, and smile??? Needless to say, I make no money with my writing. Whether dark or eloquent or stupid, funny or honest or brutal, it all just exists, going mostly unnoticed.
It's weird, though. If years ago someone had said that I'd publish a bunch of books and have no money or fan art to show for it, I would have laughed. Me? Being okay not making money? No. Me, who got paid hundred of dollars an hour as a special effects makeup artist. Me, who got the most tips at the movie theatre she worked at. Me, who is now broke and on Disability. No. Not me at all. Money or bust.
And yet, here I am, content. Of course I wish more people read my work, that I'd have people pay for my things, that the writing events I've been to ended in profitable exchanges of information. But wishes are for the birds (the few real ones left—we all know about birds).
dear alex,
another great piece as always!
my answer to "What’s your networking strategy?" is "commenting on people's Substacks"
thanks for asking and sharing!
love
myq
“I think people thought that they had to be really serious with their writing. And I was just like, I don't think so.” 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽
“I think we might all be predetermined, including the illusion of free will, which I don't think is a bad thing.”🤯
Pretty sure you’ve been predestined to network with Robert Sapolsky. You should definitely send him a reaaaally vulnerable email and include this 🔥quote
“I hate, I really fucking hate, and I really, really don't like, when someone I don't know asks if I want to swap recommendation on Substack. It kind of drives me crazy.” Right? What are these people thinking?
Someone once told me that being scared or nervous means you care.
Im like an ocean wave with networking. Sometimes I’m happy to push thru, splash and plunge other times I recede. I need a break. I need to regenerate.
I’m totally with you about the free will question - that there’s a flavor of predetermination -and yet we can shift out timelines based on our responses (whether we turned our cheek or not) and by engaging in what we love- following ones unique heart to create our version of beauty. Especially lasting beauty- so in addition to meals and makeup.
Here’s an early essay i wrote about fate versus free will: https://drjenwyman-clemons.com/2020/12/24/fate-versus-free-will/
Both will loosen us from karmic stickiness and leave us on a fuller path with a helluva lot more healthy fun!
As energy waveforms, manifesting both with Gaia’s boson and the universes help (aka astrology - as transiting planets and bodies affect our natal and progressed charts (symbolic for our cross of matter) - energy that comes into our consciousness or collective can be of higher or lower vibrational frequency.
Days do become brighter when we let shit go!