I am teary. this was so good. "We are each of us little nations full of pointless bureaucracy full of an entire alphabet of grievances we have no idea what to do with." ugh. amaze.
Good lord this was well written. Insightful, vulnerable, relatable and made me actually laugh out loud. Fucking asmr ice. Brilliant. Glad you took the cereal. Applause. Keep breathing.
Wow. Somehow you managed to pull everything that is happening in the world, and in a family, and in our own heads all together to make sense of our disagreements and what is truly important. Thanks for this excellent essay that must have been a ton of work.
Oh, i forgot to answer the question about fights. Ohhh, there was a time that whenever i had a fight with my parents, especially with my dad, i'd end up lying in the corner of my room crying. Nowadays, it ends up in me going to my room but not crying, i start to ignore them or do sth to signal them "i don't wanna listen to you" (Call me a dick, i don't care). Yes, there was an occasion some time ago when my mom and i started one of our verbal fights over a misunderstanding. First, i couldn't clarify sth, then she misinterpreted it, then i got angry at her for this, then i went to my room becoming a dick, then ... . Anyway, when i calmed down, and she had time, everything cleared.
Love this, Alex. This especially: "We become who we are in response to not only who our parents are, but who they’re not."
I lost my dad to COVID four years ago, and my mom is still around but I mostly lost her to dementia. They're Soviet parents too, so I know exactly what you're talking about. It took losing them for me to start letting go of my list of grievances.
As someone who lost each parent when I was a teen/young adult, at or before they reached age 60, this piece really made me feel all the feels. You are right, there is so much time wasted with parents not getting us and us not getting them. At the risk of using the word perfect again, I found this post a pitch perfect execution of this subject.
I recently shared the story with someone else of how I accidentally climbed mt Ben Nevis because I fought with my mom at the foot of it. I didn't realise we were going to do that that day. I thought it was just a normal other Scottish hill. We fought and she said well screw you then stay at this rock until I come back (Eastern European Jews do not fear for the children I think, they fear for the rest of the world when their children are left unsupervised lol)
I waited about 30, 40 minutes and thought fine maybe it's possible I was a little bit unreasonable so I decided I'd go meet her as she descends from this tiny hill. About an hour into walking I asked a lady in maybe mid fifties dressed head to toe in appropriate hiking gear, how far it is to the top. She said, about 4 hours or so. I said thank you and thought well she's old, I will probably get there in one.
lol. I met my mom at the top and was like dude you seriously left me knowing you'd be away for about 8 hours? She was like, you were being annoying. It was really heartwarming.
I am teary. this was so good. "We are each of us little nations full of pointless bureaucracy full of an entire alphabet of grievances we have no idea what to do with." ugh. amaze.
erinnnnn thank u
thank U my friend
This line hit me right in the heart. Both my parents have died 15 years ago now. We weren’t close but I loved them each from our own “little nation.”
thats a beautiful way to put it
Brilliant, beautiful, wonderful.
Good lord this was well written. Insightful, vulnerable, relatable and made me actually laugh out loud. Fucking asmr ice. Brilliant. Glad you took the cereal. Applause. Keep breathing.
thank you Megan truly
Wow. Somehow you managed to pull everything that is happening in the world, and in a family, and in our own heads all together to make sense of our disagreements and what is truly important. Thanks for this excellent essay that must have been a ton of work.
thank u Donna
Oh, i forgot to answer the question about fights. Ohhh, there was a time that whenever i had a fight with my parents, especially with my dad, i'd end up lying in the corner of my room crying. Nowadays, it ends up in me going to my room but not crying, i start to ignore them or do sth to signal them "i don't wanna listen to you" (Call me a dick, i don't care). Yes, there was an occasion some time ago when my mom and i started one of our verbal fights over a misunderstanding. First, i couldn't clarify sth, then she misinterpreted it, then i got angry at her for this, then i went to my room becoming a dick, then ... . Anyway, when i calmed down, and she had time, everything cleared.
classic time heals all situation
Classic time???🤔
Alex, I really needed to read this right now. Thank you 😭
thank YOU for reading it
It was a pressure
alex i am here for the laughs not the cries whyyyyyy jk this is beautiful and lovely. You're great.
you are
"We are each of us little nations full of pointless bureaucracy full of an entire alphabet of grievances we have no idea what to do with."
This one sentence might save several people from years of unnecessary therapy. Including me.
So good.
wow thank you
Love this, Alex. This especially: "We become who we are in response to not only who our parents are, but who they’re not."
I lost my dad to COVID four years ago, and my mom is still around but I mostly lost her to dementia. They're Soviet parents too, so I know exactly what you're talking about. It took losing them for me to start letting go of my list of grievances.
im sorry about all the hard stuff with your parents. sending lots of soviet love
As someone who lost each parent when I was a teen/young adult, at or before they reached age 60, this piece really made me feel all the feels. You are right, there is so much time wasted with parents not getting us and us not getting them. At the risk of using the word perfect again, I found this post a pitch perfect execution of this subject.
thank u
I still get in rage at crazy things my 90-year-old mom says or does. Then I remind myself, at 90 she can do whatever the hell she wants. 😁
The sound of breaking of ice on a pond!!!!
I love the reverberation sounds. The tinkling mixed with the waving sound; so unique and cool.
YOU GET IT
I wonder if everyone goes through this second adolescence, before eventually levelling up their relationship witn their parents. So good Alex ☺️
I recently shared the story with someone else of how I accidentally climbed mt Ben Nevis because I fought with my mom at the foot of it. I didn't realise we were going to do that that day. I thought it was just a normal other Scottish hill. We fought and she said well screw you then stay at this rock until I come back (Eastern European Jews do not fear for the children I think, they fear for the rest of the world when their children are left unsupervised lol)
I waited about 30, 40 minutes and thought fine maybe it's possible I was a little bit unreasonable so I decided I'd go meet her as she descends from this tiny hill. About an hour into walking I asked a lady in maybe mid fifties dressed head to toe in appropriate hiking gear, how far it is to the top. She said, about 4 hours or so. I said thank you and thought well she's old, I will probably get there in one.
lol. I met my mom at the top and was like dude you seriously left me knowing you'd be away for about 8 hours? She was like, you were being annoying. It was really heartwarming.
hahahaha
Well, all I am going to say is that I am hitting that "upgrade to paid" button. Because you are the P word :)
Mansi thank you so much you have no idea
Absolutely wonderful!
thank u
Absolutely love this, Alex 🫶🏼
thank u