My favorite thing about Rupert Holmes is that since that song he has written a Tony-winning musical, a TV show, and a series of mystery novels. But that’s not how he introduces himself at pool parties.
Omg I fucking love this deep dive. Amazing unpacking. I once took an online quiz where you type in your birthday and it tells you the song that matches you. I was born in 1979 and mine was The Pina Colada Song. I’ve been onto the lyrical insanity of this song since day one, and was so bummed that the internet deemed it my soul song that I still fill with dread every time I hear it.
Also, I laughed out loud at least five times reading this. I chuckle to myself in my head often, but LOLs are rare. Kudos.
Wait 'til you take a good look at the translated lyrics to Macarena. Why are all these songs about cheating?! It all feels like some "ball and chain" disrespecting your partner boomer humor...
I know that now 😂 but I didn’t even know the word fornication at the time—my mum was mortified that I was singing it over and over in front of people she knew, plus all the sex-based metaphors that went right over my 15 yo head!
I was watching a soap opera with my mom at about age 6 and a woman in a lacy nightie was putting drops in her eyes. I asked my mom why, and she said because she'd been up all night. I asked why she had been up all night. At that age I knew the basic mechanics of how babies are made, it just never occurred to me that people might do it for fun! 🤣
I laughed out loud the whole way through this. Alex, you're a terrific writer. And yeah, maybe it's time they try yoga. Longing for the next song deconstruction. Oh btw: My Sharona? An ordinary love song? Sharona is underage. It's the Epstein anthem.
My dad used to sing along with this song on roadtrips with me, my little brother, and mom in the car. After a little while, I started to sing along, too. My mom didn't join in the car karaoke: she hate, hate, hated this song only slightly less than she hated her all time winner in hathos, "If I Were A Carpenter."
One day, when I was about 12, we were on the road to visit family in another state, and it hit me. "Dad! This song is about him cheating!! This is not a nice song!!!"
My dad: "What? No, it's a love song." My mom: "George, how could you sing along and not know this?!?" My dad: "I guess I never thought about it...? It's about how they both like pina coladas...?"
To this day, my dad denies ever knowing that this song was about cheating.
I recently found out that the Kid Creole and The Coconuts song so many people love to dance to at weddings and discos "Annie, I'm not your Daddy" contains this harsh line "See if I was in your blood/Then you wouldn't be so ugly" 😳
Thank you for this! It’s SO funny, and yes - this song is fucked up. I still enjoy it, but you’re right about Lauren’s and Rupert’s interpretations being bonkers. Thanks for the hearty laughs first thing in the morning. I think we can all use a good laugh these days. 😂🤣
lol this is so good. I was watching a show recently that used this song in the soundtrack, noticed the lyrics and was like wait... wtf? but I did not get this deep!
My favorite thing about Rupert Holmes is that since that song he has written a Tony-winning musical, a TV show, and a series of mystery novels. But that’s not how he introduces himself at pool parties.
How does he introduce himself??
“Hey there, just call me old Rupey Rupes” probably
LOL
Surely not “I’m the guy who wrote the pina colada song”?
Such a classic
Omg I fucking love this deep dive. Amazing unpacking. I once took an online quiz where you type in your birthday and it tells you the song that matches you. I was born in 1979 and mine was The Pina Colada Song. I’ve been onto the lyrical insanity of this song since day one, and was so bummed that the internet deemed it my soul song that I still fill with dread every time I hear it.
Also, I laughed out loud at least five times reading this. I chuckle to myself in my head often, but LOLs are rare. Kudos.
Wait 'til you take a good look at the translated lyrics to Macarena. Why are all these songs about cheating?! It all feels like some "ball and chain" disrespecting your partner boomer humor...
Oh. Now that was a revelation.
I mean, I was 15 when this song was released and I knew what it was about the first time I heard it. 🤷🏻♀️
Try this instead:
https://youtu.be/bm3fYvXkAT8?si=98tP8PWhBW9KMKyT
dear alex,
fun piece as always!
this really got me: “Yea, I wrote this song lol” - M Night Shyamalan
you are fun! thank you for sharing the fun you are!
love you
myq
Haha, that part got me, too! 😂🤣
BAT?
Both Are tRue
Thank you. I was wondering that too lol
Your placement of images is always so so funny. Love the comedic pacing of your writing! Love a good deep dive on pop culture trivia too!
I sang in a band in high school and my mum wouldn’t let us perform Californication at a concert she was putting on, bc she said it wasn’t appropriate.
“Mum, it’s about California! What??”
“IT IS ABOUT SEX”
😳
It's actually about how the false, glamorous imagery of LA and California is a sham that will destroy us, but yeah the word is there.
I know that now 😂 but I didn’t even know the word fornication at the time—my mum was mortified that I was singing it over and over in front of people she knew, plus all the sex-based metaphors that went right over my 15 yo head!
I was watching a soap opera with my mom at about age 6 and a woman in a lacy nightie was putting drops in her eyes. I asked my mom why, and she said because she'd been up all night. I asked why she had been up all night. At that age I knew the basic mechanics of how babies are made, it just never occurred to me that people might do it for fun! 🤣
I laughed out loud the whole way through this. Alex, you're a terrific writer. And yeah, maybe it's time they try yoga. Longing for the next song deconstruction. Oh btw: My Sharona? An ordinary love song? Sharona is underage. It's the Epstein anthem.
I think anyone who was over 18 when it was released knew the lyrics. It's on my list of cringiest songs, which also includes:
*Working My Way Back to You (The Four Seasons/The Spinners)
*Having My Baby (Paul Anka)
*Can't Take My Eyes Off of You (Frankie Valli)
*Oh, What a Night (The Four Seasons)
*Sweet Caroline ( Neil Diamond)
(problematic because I'm a Red Sox fan)
Honorable mention goes to Those Were the Days by Mary Hopkin.
My dad used to sing along with this song on roadtrips with me, my little brother, and mom in the car. After a little while, I started to sing along, too. My mom didn't join in the car karaoke: she hate, hate, hated this song only slightly less than she hated her all time winner in hathos, "If I Were A Carpenter."
One day, when I was about 12, we were on the road to visit family in another state, and it hit me. "Dad! This song is about him cheating!! This is not a nice song!!!"
My dad: "What? No, it's a love song." My mom: "George, how could you sing along and not know this?!?" My dad: "I guess I never thought about it...? It's about how they both like pina coladas...?"
To this day, my dad denies ever knowing that this song was about cheating.
Hahahaha - I sang “two turntables and a microphone” for decades before someone pointed out a non-literal meaning 🤣
But, also, sooooo many songs I have sang a million times without ever stopping to think about what I’m singing.
Love this!
I recently found out that the Kid Creole and The Coconuts song so many people love to dance to at weddings and discos "Annie, I'm not your Daddy" contains this harsh line "See if I was in your blood/Then you wouldn't be so ugly" 😳
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4rNpxRRv9bw
I laughed, I cried. I laugh-cried. (Even when I knew where it was all going)
Thank you for this! It’s SO funny, and yes - this song is fucked up. I still enjoy it, but you’re right about Lauren’s and Rupert’s interpretations being bonkers. Thanks for the hearty laughs first thing in the morning. I think we can all use a good laugh these days. 😂🤣
lol this is so good. I was watching a show recently that used this song in the soundtrack, noticed the lyrics and was like wait... wtf? but I did not get this deep!
An Alex C L A A A S I C
Thank you for making me laugh first thing in the morning 😂