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Mike Sowden's avatar

This is completely deranged, Alex, and I endorse it from beginning to end, apart from a few details: the facts, the words, every other part of it.

That said, I do things differently. Every Black Friday, I make a point of going through Amazon, adding every Black Friday item I like the look of to my basket, looking at the grand total at the end, and then I go out and spending that exact amount on tubes of Pringles. In this way, I guarantee I'm wasting my money on something that I KNOW I will use COMPLETELY and NEVER put in the cupboard and forget about and feel REGRETFUL about. I KNOW that within one terrible day of zero self-control all those Pringles will be GONE and I can feel good about this, even while physically feeling as bad as a human body that's inhaled dozens of kilograms of fried fat and salt is able to feel.

Sure, my health is utterly ruined and last year I spent £4,900 ($2.85bn) on Pringles, but my conscience feels, well, actually it feels nothing. That's how I know I've won. Numbing is winning.

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Tommy Dixon's avatar

Hahaha I laughed and loved this so much.

I’m so on the anti-black Friday bandwagon. Also funny when people buy a truckload of environmentally friendly products. Like the most environmental thing is to just not buy anything...

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