I did buy something today (yikes!). I was going to buy it anyway...I didn't realize it was Prime Day because I apparently live under a rock. I bought compression socks because I have an upcoming flight to Europe and I just watched last week's Project Runway where Brittany Allen told the story about how she, a young person (unlike me), developed a traveling blood clot while flying and HAD A STROKE! ON THE PLANE!! WAS TEMPORARILY PARALYZED ON HER RIGHT SIDE! And then there was Logan Roy on Succession...we all know what happened to him (I don't want to spoil), but remember Carl or Frank or someone mentioned that Logan didn't wear compression socks because he didn't want to look old and dorky in front of Carrie.
I didn't want to make the same mistakes as Brittany and Logan so I found myself on Amazon.
I used "bonus bucks", which are part of a recognition program at my job, so I didn't actually pay using my own real money, but I appreciate your warning just in case I get weak later and decide to browse.
Do you think Brittany Allen has a secret sponsorship from Big Compresh Sock?
Wow. I mean, first off congrats on a job that gives you “bonus bucks” but just a heads up that most jobs pay you in “real bucks” — something to look into.
Besides that yes this thing reeks of a conspiracy between Brittany Allen, WarnerBros and Big Compresh.
I saw that episode of Project Runway, and actually looked to see if the compression socks I wear all the time -brand Sockwell- were discounted! I wear them all the time because they keep my aged feet from feeling my nurapathic pain during the day. Anyhoo, they weren't, but I did get a watering can and waffle snacks for my dog which were on my to buy list when I saw they were discounted for prime day. But now, Alex, I feel as if I've done something bad!!!
Am sitting with a chilled bottle of Alvarinho and a bowl of potato chips cooked in olive oil (YUM), watching the windmills turn on the hill across the valley. The sky is very blue, there is a light breeze. A horse just whuffled in content in the stalls behind me.
When you have all this, Amazon is so irrelevant.
Of course I would not be living the life without Alex’ genius hack. Saúde, meu amigo! 🥂
Bullet dodged at my end--did not spend any money on PRIME today. Was going to buy a book. Not to brag, but I kept it too long from the library and now the librarians are after me. So I was going to buy it & get them off my trail by returning theirs. NOT ANYMORE. If you get details about witness protection, please share them in your next
Note: You can also use this top secret hack on Black Friday to avoid full body paralysis from being caught in a bargain hunter stampede. Not only will you come out wealthier, but you will still be able to feel from the neck down!
1-3: Really wanted to buy something dumb on Amazon to share here as a comment, would have been cool. But, then I remembered that the actual purpose of this article was to get me to realize that I could save/earn thousands of dollars by NOT buying stuff on Amazon--thus, my mind was friggin' blown and I'm not doing well.
4. Is prime day still open?
5. Why can't every day be prime day? I would save so much more!!
6. Well, definitely spending a better time on the internet reading and commenting on BAT than browsing Prime.
7. PRIME MENTIONS THRESHOLD MET, FREE PRIME GIFT INCOMING.
All our bosses said we’re getting Prime Day off to spend it with our families cuz we have everything we need: bed, snacks, water, toilet stuff, crayons, food as well. Spend it well by spending it not at all!
OMG, you saved me so much money. But I did instruct my bestie to buy some silicone molds for stick-shaped ice cubes so we can made homemade CBD suppositories as we believe these are essential if humans are to continue attempts to procreate anally. Our future may depend upon it! Maybe.
i must have slept thru "prime day"...or maybe it coincided with the blue moon which i didn't see either because of cloud cover or catching up with "Florida Man" but even if i HAD known about it the budget so tight what with battling myriad deer ticks working on dilapidated house in North Woods no "deal" was gonna tempt me to buy a fuzz pedal that made me sound like Billy Gibbons or another 3-pack of solar powered luci lights (i have electricity here now and have since May!!!) As for books i have been reading Substack instead and THAT will change soon enough because there's only so much writing about writing i can take or advice about how to embrace solitude and stop talking to find one's true center. I do that while seizing on the opportunity to explain to friends and family that a lined joint compound bucket (with lid of course) is the reason i haven't prioritised a "bathroom" yet....as for simple urination ie privacy they dont call this area the You-Pee for nuthin. What were the other questions?. heh
I did buy something today (yikes!). I was going to buy it anyway...I didn't realize it was Prime Day because I apparently live under a rock. I bought compression socks because I have an upcoming flight to Europe and I just watched last week's Project Runway where Brittany Allen told the story about how she, a young person (unlike me), developed a traveling blood clot while flying and HAD A STROKE! ON THE PLANE!! WAS TEMPORARILY PARALYZED ON HER RIGHT SIDE! And then there was Logan Roy on Succession...we all know what happened to him (I don't want to spoil), but remember Carl or Frank or someone mentioned that Logan didn't wear compression socks because he didn't want to look old and dorky in front of Carrie.
I didn't want to make the same mistakes as Brittany and Logan so I found myself on Amazon.
I used "bonus bucks", which are part of a recognition program at my job, so I didn't actually pay using my own real money, but I appreciate your warning just in case I get weak later and decide to browse.
Do you think Brittany Allen has a secret sponsorship from Big Compresh Sock?
Wow. I mean, first off congrats on a job that gives you “bonus bucks” but just a heads up that most jobs pay you in “real bucks” — something to look into.
Besides that yes this thing reeks of a conspiracy between Brittany Allen, WarnerBros and Big Compresh.
I’ll be doing a full investigative report
I saw that episode of Project Runway, and actually looked to see if the compression socks I wear all the time -brand Sockwell- were discounted! I wear them all the time because they keep my aged feet from feeling my nurapathic pain during the day. Anyhoo, they weren't, but I did get a watering can and waffle snacks for my dog which were on my to buy list when I saw they were discounted for prime day. But now, Alex, I feel as if I've done something bad!!!
You are not bad. It is Bezos who is bad. You are good
I didn't buy another air-frier! Going to buy some bitcoin with the money I saved!😃
Woohoo! Wait
dear alex,
thank you for sharing of your wisdom and experience! AND thank you for not charging us for it!
What dumb shit did you NOT buy this Prime Day?
EVERYTHING!
What even dumber shit did you end up buying?
NOTHING!
How are you doing emotionally and mentally after having your mind blown by this paradigm shifting protocol?
I WAS DOING OKAY AND NOW I'M DOING WAY BETTER! THANK YOU!
What will you do today instead of buying more dumb shit on Amazon dot com
WRITE JOKES AND MESSAGES TO MY NICE FRIEND ALEX!
love you,
myq
You won
Bought nothing.
Am sitting with a chilled bottle of Alvarinho and a bowl of potato chips cooked in olive oil (YUM), watching the windmills turn on the hill across the valley. The sky is very blue, there is a light breeze. A horse just whuffled in content in the stalls behind me.
When you have all this, Amazon is so irrelevant.
Of course I would not be living the life without Alex’ genius hack. Saúde, meu amigo! 🥂
Wait did you make the potato chips???
No, I am in Portugal and this is standard.
loved this, hilarious! I did not buy one thing, but the day is young. 💜
I caved, and stocked up at just close to midnight on the items I need for my daughter's upcoming bridal shower. But I still loved this post. 💜
So cool that you originated PRIME!
Bullet dodged at my end--did not spend any money on PRIME today. Was going to buy a book. Not to brag, but I kept it too long from the library and now the librarians are after me. So I was going to buy it & get them off my trail by returning theirs. NOT ANYMORE. If you get details about witness protection, please share them in your next
Ugh there’s nothing worse than when Big Library is after you. I usually wait them out until a “loan forgiveness” week which is wild
Note: You can also use this top secret hack on Black Friday to avoid full body paralysis from being caught in a bargain hunter stampede. Not only will you come out wealthier, but you will still be able to feel from the neck down!
Already writing my Black Friday piece
1-3: Really wanted to buy something dumb on Amazon to share here as a comment, would have been cool. But, then I remembered that the actual purpose of this article was to get me to realize that I could save/earn thousands of dollars by NOT buying stuff on Amazon--thus, my mind was friggin' blown and I'm not doing well.
4. Is prime day still open?
5. Why can't every day be prime day? I would save so much more!!
6. Well, definitely spending a better time on the internet reading and commenting on BAT than browsing Prime.
7. PRIME MENTIONS THRESHOLD MET, FREE PRIME GIFT INCOMING.
R u ok
Ok as long as Prime Day doesn't end.
All our bosses said we’re getting Prime Day off to spend it with our families cuz we have everything we need: bed, snacks, water, toilet stuff, crayons, food as well. Spend it well by spending it not at all!
This made me do a big internal lol
4. 5. I will swipe sideways through emoji until I find cheese: 🧀
Cheese
i tried to get in on the referral action but messed it up. how does one refer? thanks.
for cheese and glory! ahoy!
OMG, you saved me so much money. But I did instruct my bestie to buy some silicone molds for stick-shaped ice cubes so we can made homemade CBD suppositories as we believe these are essential if humans are to continue attempts to procreate anally. Our future may depend upon it! Maybe.
Lotta questions here
dude i've read a lot of Alex Dobrenko but this one was something special I was crying laughing
Hell ya
Yesterday I lost my Bluetooth earbuds. Today is Prime Day. I know you’re right, but EARBUDS! Damn.
Get the earbuds
You are wise for one so young! Earbuds ordered.
Exfoliating Forever Plastics, yo
i must have slept thru "prime day"...or maybe it coincided with the blue moon which i didn't see either because of cloud cover or catching up with "Florida Man" but even if i HAD known about it the budget so tight what with battling myriad deer ticks working on dilapidated house in North Woods no "deal" was gonna tempt me to buy a fuzz pedal that made me sound like Billy Gibbons or another 3-pack of solar powered luci lights (i have electricity here now and have since May!!!) As for books i have been reading Substack instead and THAT will change soon enough because there's only so much writing about writing i can take or advice about how to embrace solitude and stop talking to find one's true center. I do that while seizing on the opportunity to explain to friends and family that a lined joint compound bucket (with lid of course) is the reason i haven't prioritised a "bathroom" yet....as for simple urination ie privacy they dont call this area the You-Pee for nuthin. What were the other questions?. heh
Heh
lololol that exfoliating product
Expensive rag
With nubs