15 Comments

I don’t know man, I think there’s some reverse psychology you’re using cause after reading your article I’ve got the urge to go check deals on Amazon, when before your article it wasn’t even remotely on my mind. Is that you messing with me? Are you secretly actually friends with Bezos?

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I needed this laugh. I am Jeffie’s “prey” for sure. I have a hack that strangely seems to work. Every time I see a new THING that makes me covet and crave, I very imperiously click on the “Put it on my Wish List” button. I actually have several of these wish lists, so it’s no free-for-all, it’s carefully categorized.

I don’t know what my brain feels like it’s getting away with, but I literally become “full” doing this. My appetite simmers and then stops. I come out of the fugue state. If and when I bother to get back to the list, it’s like looking at a tape of a drunken retail Filine’s party. Thank god I didn’t order the leopard skin concealer.

I, too, an instant millionaire!

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Bro. Thanks to this timely hack plus my burgeoning decision making skills, I did not (NOT) buy Original Whirley Pop Popcorn Maker - Wabash Valley Farms Gourmet Popcorn Popper, Aluminum Popcorn Pot With Nylon Gears, 3-Minute Stove Top Popcorn Maker, Nostalgia Popcorn Maker (Silver).

Yes, even with Nylon Gears. even with Nostalgia feature. let me walk you through it.

Bought first bag of popcorn in a minute earlier this week. Whole Foods 365 Black Pepper and Parmesan Popcorn. Shared with my main man who promptly said "let's buy a popcorn maker." Oy vey.

First three kernels of any popcorn are delicious. The rest burrows into your teeth and gums and you are still extracting popcorn days, weeks later.

Aint nobody got time for that. This tip is worth the price of your newsletter (yes i am a paying subber). you da man. Take good care.

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Oct 9Edited

Love it. I wrote similarly to Dan Ariely after reading his “Predictably Irrational” as he seemed to miss out on the difference between free and not buying at all contrasted with saving X amount on various products. Thanks for writing this :)

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I'll be there to read this again on Black Friday. Hilarious stuff!

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Hilarious. I saved a TON of money I already had. Talk about a result. I even bought a book from my local bookstore. Remember those?

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dear alex,

this post is what everyone should buy from YOU for FREE!

i love "do not buy you know why"

you're the best!

love

myq

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Temu has me hypnotized 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

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Every year I get offered a new TV from my parents, who are in turn getting a new one from my brother who buys a new one almost like clockwork when black Friday deals are on. Each year I turn it down because anything above 50" is ridiculously huge for the space I have, so the 60" they offered me is laughable (even funnier when it's a 3d TV). I'm good with my one that's old enough to buy a round of drinks in the UK.

I really don't get this need to update things constantly so Prime day, Black Friday deals and extra special prime discount daddy day have zero effect on me. That they're doing more and more of them tells me that profits have plateaued and, they need a way to squeeze more money from people.

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I bought nothing. I deleted the app last month. I didn't go to the website to see what is on sale. I saved 100%.

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Heh, the math on the first one isn’t “fairly sound”. $22.00 - $10.78 = $11.22.

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Genius! Also, I initially read "Bezos stops curling iron" as "Bezos stops the curling iron" and the image of him with a curling iron by his bald bald head makes me happy. Daddy wants!

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Hilarious post, but sadly read it too late, have already purchased an air fryer - one that’s half the size and cost of the one he was going to get but another thing that we have no room for all the same. I will be sure to return to this post next time I’m in need of an intervention. Thank you.

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Living for this post returning for every big sale day!!

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Love this. “But wait, there’s less!” Hehe.

I really don’t need a forklift. Their deals are usually big ticket items. I was hoping they’d offer specials to hurricane victims but I guess Bezos has to maintain 18 homes and a 10,000 ft cruise liner.

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