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2. Can Lauren please weigh in here on whether the mask is working and should I get one?

3. The forties are the best. The kids are becoming incredible small humans and the parents are finding more time to be the super fun people they once were (or maybe more fun than they ever were in their 20s and definitely than their 30s, the decade of suck).

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Love this. Funny and tender. The fact that you were able to take that INSANE mask and, after mining the situation for humor, you then swoop in and start talking about the role of masks, and the wowiness of removing them for each other. Btw, we're in our 60s. The next phase? Realizing you'll be there for each other as your bodies start to fail. Frightening and comforting, in equal measure.

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1. The romcom is never over. You will have many sequels.

3. There will be ups and downs but many more sideways. The sideways are fun and growth and even more discovery.

Does the mask work?

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founding

I imagined the devil mask in my head and the reveal was an even better pay off. So much LOL. Alex, this was such a great series and made me giddy for my Big 15 anniversary coming up. The rollercoaster days are long overโ€”sure I miss the flipflops sometimesโ€”but the standing days are so solid and comforting and I, too, feel just goshdarn grateful to have found someone to stand with. Imagine if we embraced the flaws and f'oh!paws of more people in our lives... "I know I can't fix you, but I'll stand right here so you don't feel so alone while you grow and change" and, by the same token, "I know you can't fix me, but thanks for standing by while I do the work." Wowies.

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3. see my comment on Part 2. Also, when you think you know everything about your partner after x years, they will still do or say something surprising. This is one of the best things about spending your life with someone, imho.

Oh, and never underestimate the power of laughter. (Somehow I think you two got this covered.) I know as long as spouse and I can make each other laugh, weโ€™re good.

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oh dear, I had pegged Lauren as the sensible one and Alex as the nut caseโ€ฆ was I wrong?! I really shouldnโ€™t be judgmental about glow-in-the-dark masks, I know.

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The photos! The photos. I wasnโ€™t prepared. Too good.

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I've seen that mask! And wowies, does it look expensive. But the real question is, is it working for her?

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My wife and I have only been married 39 years, so I have no particular insight into marriage, except. . .wowies!

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I'm in my thirties but FEEL like I'm in my forties. I think marriages can get better, sweeter, sexier, more romantic, more comfortable, even easier, if you wake up everyday and say, "I choose you. I will love whatever is next for you and me as a couple, as individuals, as humans."

I just hit ten years. I think about how easy it can be to let things slide, become roommates, or get divorced. Just give upโ€”that's it. Stop trying. Put on sweats and don't shower or brush your teeth, walk by your person without kissing them, never offer them anything when you're in the kitchen, never grab them a snack when you're out with a friend, forget dates that are in your calendar, stop dancing with them for no reason, stop love smacking them on the butt when they walk by you or slipping your hand in their back pocket when you're in the grocery store, buy food they hate or can't eat, only suggest TV shows they don't like, spend every day out with friends instead of spend time with them.

But it's also easy to make it to that next day. You just have to want it. You just have to be open, be honest. Love them and show affection and think about them and sometimes walk around the house naked while your spouse is on a conference call and can do nothing about it. You just have to try, and yeah, I see things just getting better. With that, I think that even when life is hell, you're suffering or in pain or everything is going wrong, you can be happy together.

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Unrelated (?) but these are lines from one of my favorite poems that really speaks to me of deep, long-term partnership.

Love is like velocity we feel the speeding up

and the slowing down otherwise not at all

the more steady the more it feels like going nowhere

my love I want to go nowhere with you

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazine/poems/56461/lines-for-painting-on-grains-of-rice

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They also sell whiteboard markers and stickers on the Internet. Those would pair perfectly with the mask, IMHO.

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Love an essay that blends Erich Fromm, James Baldwin, and satan masks!

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1. Whatโ€™s next? Please say stoner comedy. Or over-the-top action movie? Or a combo of both?!

3. Wowies. A ton more wowies. Also, I love the bit about choosing each other regularly. Some days itโ€™s easy and some days itโ€™s a bit more of a struggle, but as long as youโ€™re both on the same page, wowies.

5. This is one rare instance where I donโ€™t recommend following Bob Rossโ€™s adviceโ€ฆ I would not advise that you โ€œbeat the devil out of itโ€โ€ฆ seeing as spousal abuse is typically frowned upon.

6. Those photos are terrifying and hilarious, and I donโ€™t want to see them but also canโ€™t look away.

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Very funny. And I did some work promoting a red light therapy product and you reminded me I am still waiting to get it. So I forwarded your article to the developer and asked where my light is???? But it is not a mask. The mask is over the top funny. Bless her. Nowโ€ฆyou may not have heard where men shine the red light. Someone recently mentioned how important it is to sun the you know whatโ€™s down there. She was talking about nude sunbathing. But shoot. Maybe you could create a new product. But no photos please.

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