I was wanting to make some joke about how typically tone deaf awful The Tree of Life is for a date movie but as I kept trying to find the hook I realized it's probably the best date movie there is:
You don't have to pay attention to it. You can alternate between paying attention to your date and glancing at the lovely imagery.
Bonus points if you're paying attention to your date during the dinosaurs and Jessica Chastain parts, because you're communicating to her that she's more interesting than dinosaurs and Jessica Chastain. Also the dinosaur parts are the worst parts.
If your date actually genuinely gets absorbed by it and wants to talk about it later, you can get "good listener" points by letting them talk about basically whatever. And, less you worry that you may come across as "not getting it" or incurious, literally just say, "What struck me were the Sean Penn parts. What do you think those were about?" Boom, great conversationalist.
We are OFF THE BUS in this house. Two kids, two middle-aged artists, new town, new rental: messy as hell! I am a freak about morning time and get up before dawn to achieve it 😇 It’s not so much that I deserve a trophy, it’s that, with kids, I need that time to basically not burn the house down/feel happy. The only thing I miss about being single (ok there are some others) is taking huge blocks of silence to read and drink coffee in a solo abode. Pajamas Til Noon is the name of my forthcoming business school…
I don’t think I’d ever name a child Crit, but if they wanted to change their name later on to Crit I guess I’d have to be supportive and I’ll be reminded of this funny, sweet post. I can’t wait for act 3!! Also, I’ve never thought about owls in that way before, but that truly is how ornithology works 😂
One of my favorite movie moments is every single moment in the movie 24 Hour Party People. I also love the popcorn finale in Real Genius. That’s my pitch for act 3. Somehow you guys stop Crit from destroying you with a laser, but the laser beam goes astray and pops a house full of popcorn. And you guys frolic in the popcorn as Tears for Fears plays.
favourite scene in movie has to be the unscripted shot of Dustin Hoffman berating impatient NYC traffic in Midnight Cowboy while trying to cross street: "Im WALKIN' heahhhhhhh!!!"
that said the final shot in the Graduate says it all about sugar coated endings being exposed to harsh reality to come...ie: he will be sneakin around with anne bancroft again in NO Time, i woulds, while she cheats with a randy professor played by donald sutherland aieeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
3. No, of course I don't have any advice for YOU, Alex! Imagine! I mean, I'm here reading BAT right now precisely because you're providing ME with advice on life, relationships, potatoes, potaaaaaaaahtoes and how not to demonstrate the craft of eating in an audition - as well as all that other stuff I can only get here. I mean, you've nailed it all already - what advice could I possibly offer you in return? 🤷♀️🤣
1 - Obviously the part when Mouth says THIS ONE IS MY DREAM. AND I'M TAKING IT BACK. I'M TAKING THEM ALL BACK in Goonies. Basically all of Goonies really. Also in LOTR when Eowyn goes I AM NO MAN and cuts off the whatever's head.
3- Advice about marriage. This is impossible. Every marriage is different from each other. Every marriage is different from one day to the next. Just be in it to win it and ride over the rough spots. Embrace the chaos and beauty in every day. It's a most excellent world, despite everything.
Woof. Sometimes Both Are TOO True ya know what I mean...
My number one defense against my own inner-crittic-of-other-people-but-especially-my-incredibly-wonderful-wife-who-loves-me-unconditionally is, whenever I notice myself feeling some sort of shitty little criticism, I try to judo that sucker around and ask myself, point blank, "OK sure but how are YOU being shitty?" And holy moses is it just about as simple as cheese and crackers to answer that question. Every time.
You sir, are better at this marriage thing than you probably think.
as someone who has also done long distance and moved to another city for my s/o, this was a validating read! those long distance visits did feel like a LOT of pressure. can't wait for part three, i'm on the edge of my seat here
2) No. But I did name my child Wilder. Not after yours. I got there first. Also, his cousin, born a week apart, is named Onyx. Your first piece I read included your car named Onyx and i was like - ok, I'll stay.
3) Yes, i sure do. Take Wilder for the morning and give her some time in bed ya idiot.
believe me im gonna get to this but the waffle house at beginning and we are surrounded by them here in south reminded of last weekend skit on snl im gonna sue the writers for some kind of pinched nerve in stomach area as it was so
fucking
crazyfunny the part where somew chick is dancing on counter in background actually blacked me out temporarily but lucky
dear alex,
love you! love this! love "Classic potato, potato"! and the rest of it!
1) What’s one of your top moments in a film or tv show?
princess bride sword fight
any time john mccain says yippikiyay
all of everything everywhere all at once
and much much more!
2) Would you name a child Crit?
i'd think about it. and then i'd probably decide not to? unless the child asked me to name the child Crit.
3) Do you have any advice for me, Alex, about marriage or life or really anything??
yes. one thing at a time!
4) How do you hope this romcom story ends in act 3
i hope it Doesn't end
love,
myq
I was wanting to make some joke about how typically tone deaf awful The Tree of Life is for a date movie but as I kept trying to find the hook I realized it's probably the best date movie there is:
You don't have to pay attention to it. You can alternate between paying attention to your date and glancing at the lovely imagery.
Bonus points if you're paying attention to your date during the dinosaurs and Jessica Chastain parts, because you're communicating to her that she's more interesting than dinosaurs and Jessica Chastain. Also the dinosaur parts are the worst parts.
If your date actually genuinely gets absorbed by it and wants to talk about it later, you can get "good listener" points by letting them talk about basically whatever. And, less you worry that you may come across as "not getting it" or incurious, literally just say, "What struck me were the Sean Penn parts. What do you think those were about?" Boom, great conversationalist.
We are OFF THE BUS in this house. Two kids, two middle-aged artists, new town, new rental: messy as hell! I am a freak about morning time and get up before dawn to achieve it 😇 It’s not so much that I deserve a trophy, it’s that, with kids, I need that time to basically not burn the house down/feel happy. The only thing I miss about being single (ok there are some others) is taking huge blocks of silence to read and drink coffee in a solo abode. Pajamas Til Noon is the name of my forthcoming business school…
I don’t think I’d ever name a child Crit, but if they wanted to change their name later on to Crit I guess I’d have to be supportive and I’ll be reminded of this funny, sweet post. I can’t wait for act 3!! Also, I’ve never thought about owls in that way before, but that truly is how ornithology works 😂
One of my favorite movie moments is every single moment in the movie 24 Hour Party People. I also love the popcorn finale in Real Genius. That’s my pitch for act 3. Somehow you guys stop Crit from destroying you with a laser, but the laser beam goes astray and pops a house full of popcorn. And you guys frolic in the popcorn as Tears for Fears plays.
I love how Tim Heidecker is now like a literal omen in your relationship and he doesn't even know 😆
favourite scene in movie has to be the unscripted shot of Dustin Hoffman berating impatient NYC traffic in Midnight Cowboy while trying to cross street: "Im WALKIN' heahhhhhhh!!!"
that said the final shot in the Graduate says it all about sugar coated endings being exposed to harsh reality to come...ie: he will be sneakin around with anne bancroft again in NO Time, i woulds, while she cheats with a randy professor played by donald sutherland aieeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Classic potayto pototto.
the name of my Crit is Dave
3. No, of course I don't have any advice for YOU, Alex! Imagine! I mean, I'm here reading BAT right now precisely because you're providing ME with advice on life, relationships, potatoes, potaaaaaaaahtoes and how not to demonstrate the craft of eating in an audition - as well as all that other stuff I can only get here. I mean, you've nailed it all already - what advice could I possibly offer you in return? 🤷♀️🤣
I’m also a big Tim Heidecker fan. I’ll never forget those unofficial Tim & Eric Shrek the Third promos.
1 - Obviously the part when Mouth says THIS ONE IS MY DREAM. AND I'M TAKING IT BACK. I'M TAKING THEM ALL BACK in Goonies. Basically all of Goonies really. Also in LOTR when Eowyn goes I AM NO MAN and cuts off the whatever's head.
3- Advice about marriage. This is impossible. Every marriage is different from each other. Every marriage is different from one day to the next. Just be in it to win it and ride over the rough spots. Embrace the chaos and beauty in every day. It's a most excellent world, despite everything.
Woof. Sometimes Both Are TOO True ya know what I mean...
My number one defense against my own inner-crittic-of-other-people-but-especially-my-incredibly-wonderful-wife-who-loves-me-unconditionally is, whenever I notice myself feeling some sort of shitty little criticism, I try to judo that sucker around and ask myself, point blank, "OK sure but how are YOU being shitty?" And holy moses is it just about as simple as cheese and crackers to answer that question. Every time.
You sir, are better at this marriage thing than you probably think.
as someone who has also done long distance and moved to another city for my s/o, this was a validating read! those long distance visits did feel like a LOT of pressure. can't wait for part three, i'm on the edge of my seat here
2) No. But I did name my child Wilder. Not after yours. I got there first. Also, his cousin, born a week apart, is named Onyx. Your first piece I read included your car named Onyx and i was like - ok, I'll stay.
3) Yes, i sure do. Take Wilder for the morning and give her some time in bed ya idiot.
believe me im gonna get to this but the waffle house at beginning and we are surrounded by them here in south reminded of last weekend skit on snl im gonna sue the writers for some kind of pinched nerve in stomach area as it was so
fucking
crazyfunny the part where somew chick is dancing on counter in background actually blacked me out temporarily but lucky
im a fighter heh