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Madeline's avatar

but a really lovely essay <3

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Madeline's avatar

awww i also love the advice

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Madeline's avatar

omg the pic of wilder + gramps is too cute

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Madeline's avatar

does it ever get chilly in la tho

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Alex Dobrenko`'s avatar

no

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Madeline's avatar

I heard one time it dropped below 65

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Madeline's avatar

okay speaking of abers + fitch and middle school boys, my friend's son was giving away his old sweats from new a+f and wow they fit me great

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Madeline's avatar

WAIT I JUST GOT TO THE PART WHERE YOUR MOM WEARS YOUR OLD MS CLOTHES OMG

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Alex Dobrenko`'s avatar

that shit was quality, just carried the message of the devil inside each and every clothe

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Madeline's avatar

also that curly hair, WOW

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Madeline's avatar

oh no you gotta do the dula to me now

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Alex Dobrenko`'s avatar

dula

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Madeline's avatar

WILDER CAN WALK NOW?!

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Alex Dobrenko`'s avatar

wilder can talk now

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Madeline's avatar

P(eabody)P(ulitzer)E(mmy), the new PPE

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Alex Dobrenko`'s avatar

move over covid there's a new PPE in tuwn

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Freya Rohn's avatar

ha, I love this. This: "Watching your parents with your child also feels like traveling back in time and witnessing how they raised you." Truth. The Horror. It's chilling. Also--my mother in law said, when our son was becoming mobile, "now's the time you need to start locking your cabinets" and I had to reply "o! really? we were actually going to put out little sippy cups of poison and see if he can figure it out...." in law grandparents. oof.

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Alex Dobrenko`'s avatar

hahahahha. the sippy cup of poison is not a bad idea. speed up the whole survival of the fittest thing etc

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Malavika Mudit's avatar

how are you so funny and so wise and so compassionate to everyone and also yourself all at the same time, how how how? <3

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Alex Dobrenko`'s avatar

getting this turned into a billboard lol thank you Malavika!!

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Patricia Siswandjo's avatar

Cool article! I literally LOLed at so many parts. You're a great writer! :)

This is unrelated, but I wanted to share that I also write on substack, at https://birdfunfacts.substack.com/

It's a blog about nature and birds. If you feel like it, come check out my blog and maybe even subscribe! :)

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Alex Dobrenko`'s avatar

thanks I'll check it out!

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Sun June's avatar

this rules

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Alex Dobrenko`'s avatar

holy shit the band Sun June likes my stuff??

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<Mary L. Tabor>'s avatar

Alex, Well-written and insanely wise. xo Mary

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Alex Dobrenko`'s avatar

ahhh thank you mary!!

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Brad Goverman's avatar

Hi Alex! Not sure you remember me but your subscript popped into my in box. Sounds like you are well and living the good life in LA. Enjoy fatherhood! I still do despite one of my kids being Michael!

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Alex Dobrenko`'s avatar

AHHHH omg Brad!!! Of course I remember you, I spent most of high school at your house hahaha. I cannot believe substack of all things has reconnected us, that's amazing. I hear through the Nate grapevine you're a grandpa now ,right? At least I think I heard that.

So good to hear from you!

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Kay's avatar

This makes me think of my grandma’s favorite phrase, “Would you rather *I NOT CARE?*” when people accuse her of being too opinionated, too pushy, too...much. No grandma, I’m so glad you do. ♥️

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Alex Dobrenko`'s avatar

its such a powerful defense!! Grandparents are experts at manipulating feelings and WE LOVE THEM FOR IT lolol

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Asha Dornfest's avatar

Found this via Substack Reads and let me just say...thank you, and wonderful, and I'm both smiling and clutching my chest. My Dad was/is from India (he died in 2020 and I can't quite bring myself to use the past tense when talking about him). I totally identify with so much of what you write (and feel). My kids are grown now, but when I was a new-ish parent, my Dad didn't exactly approve of my parenting, but he also understood that it was a whole different ballgame -- his American kid raising her American kid. That dawning, for both Dad and me, in time brought us closer. He loved being a grandparent in his own quiet, stern, loving way. Your parents sound absolutely marvelous.

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Alex Dobrenko`'s avatar

wow Asha thank you for sharing. Sorry about your losing your dad I truly cannot imagine. "His american kid raising her american kid" is such a poignant way to put it - that dawning is definitely slowly upon me and my parents, and I can feel us getting closer as a result. Also it is the ultimate change in role. I am no longer child but parent, they no longer parent but grandparent (even tho they still fully say that I will forever be their child and they can't help it yada yada yada lol)

Quiet, stern, loving - your dad sounds like one hell of a dude.

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Asha Dornfest's avatar

What a kind reply. What a journey we’re all on!

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