67 Comments

Update: I just checked and my new shoes actually ARE size 7.5. Even now, in my confessional essay, I can’t help but lie about wearing bigger shoes hahaha

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🤣

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This has inspired me to finally go bra shopping, so thank you.

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i've always said if my writing can help even one person finally go bra shopping, then it will all have been worth it

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My feet grew while pregnant and now my shoes are too small!! So mayhaps you should wish for a surgery to gain a uterus, etcetera? Why not also create a human while also going up a half or full size in the foot region?

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have reached out to several doctors, both state side and internationally, to see what's possible here. Also sent them this documentary hoping it might help - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0110216/

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bahahahaha

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While we are in true shoe confessions mode. My shoe shame is, as a 5’7” slim built woman I am a perfect 8.5 shoe. A perfect 8.5 man’s shoe! Your shame is nothing Try finding a sexy slingback for some seriously wide feet. I Really enjoyed your confessional and congrats on the Substack recommendation !

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hahahah thank you I do feel better knowing there are others in the true shoe shame boat w me. appreciate your kindness as always!!

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Fun fact - Shoe sizes are measured in barleycorns. My husband is one barleycorn too many for MOST shoe stores. An expensive pain in the butt over a singular barleycorn.

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hahaha wait what?? explain. so like, he's one barleycorn bigger than any of the sizes they have available?

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Always. Well actually, if he was honest with himself, it's really two barleycorns. But I'm not going to be the one to break the news.

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Kobe 2s were great but real heads love Nike Air Zoom Flight 98 "The Glove"

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god those were so sick and honestly I coulda worn them cuz I was pretty good at steals. But honestly my #1 were the Allen Iverson "the question" and of course, soon thereafter, "the answer" https://www.complex.com/sneakers/allen-iverson-reebok-answer-dmx-question-blue-toe

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Congratulations on become a featured Substack! As wrestling crowds chant, "YOU DE-SERVE-IT!" 👏👏 👏👏👏

From early college to my late 30s I always wore the same type of shoe: Sketchers bowling shoe style sneakers. I loved how they looked (a bowling shoe? outside?!) and they were super comfortable. After awhile, they stopped selling them, but you could still buy pairs on eBay. Eventually, the market dried up. My last pair of shoes were a pair of regular black Sketchers that I absolutely hated. They were super uncomfortable and didn't look great. Oh Sketchers, how far you've fallen.

I just got a pair of Hokas and they're pretty comfortable so far. But I miss those bowling shoes.

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Sketchers... it';s the S.

I will know that motto till the day I die.

ok wait Hokas - which ones? do u love them?

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The Bondi 8 Max. They're very comfortable and fit my wide ol' feet well. So far, so good! The way I know they're good is that I don't think about them when I'm walking.

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god those look so sick. putting on some list for santa i guess

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Father's Day? Shoes > Ties

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Bruce

I’m really excited for you! And slightly jealous because I have a tendency to play the comparison game too often even though I know it’s stupid and doesn’t serve me well.

Also, I say I’m 6’1”, but I’m more like 6’1/2”.

/Bruce

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bruce

dude thank you. I always play the comparison game and have a very hard time being happy for other people, but I think the only way through that morass is by acknowledging it as part of the deal rather than hiding it away in a closet and simply screaming yay for everyone as if we were little liars who, as per the rules of bruce, we cannot be.

there is, of course, in my zen moments, the realization that there is more than enough for everyone. competition is a sickness that infects the youth and kills the old, etc. but that doesn't stop me from being jealous as fuck when people I KNOW succeed haha. when ppl i don't know succeed its like, eh, whatever. but IF I KNOW THEM/.??? that cannot stand.

also wtf ur tall. this is a win the likes of which men my height can never imagine.

/bruce

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Man, Alex, congratulations, talk about being big enough to fill someone's shoes, full on Bruce, this was awesome.

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hahah aw man thank you dude. full on bruce - I like that. Appreciate you !

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My relationship with shoes:

Spouse was in court for a DUI, been married only a few months.

Somehow the line of questioning became his shoe size and all I remember is him saying his shoes didn't fit right, one foot was smaller than the other.

Laughter burst forth in the courtroom.

Fin.

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hahahah wait WHAT. So how did the trial end? I have so many questions

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lol yeah it was ridiculous.

i'm not sure exactly what the line of questioning was around his shoe size, but the trial didn't end well for my hubby. he went off to a "men's retreat" every weekend for a month and had a blower put on his car for one year.

OHHH and i just remembered another shoe component to this tale: at the men's retreat the guard gave him 2 different sized flip flops to wear!! hahahaha!

he said he was walking in circles the whole weekend LOL.

luckily he quit drinking a long time ago and we don't have to deal with this nonsense any longer.

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Enjoyed your rant, and do not have much to say about my feet. I do have kids with shoe size awareness problems, and a husband who moved to Canada as a boy and was dragged as a young man into my fun but dysfunctional WASP family, but mostly I am writing to say I just love your cheerful blabbing. I think my husband will point out that when he is cheerfully blabbing I sometimes say I want more quiet, so now I do feel a bit guilty. Congratulations on BAT recommendation!

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hahahahah thank you! Also it's one thing to listen to a rando's cheerful blabbing, and an entirely different thing listening to your partner's CB. Case in point- my wife Lauren who has very strict rules on how much CB I am allowed to engage in (70% jokes, 30% i have to be earnest). honestly, thems some great odds

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Thanks for another true story. My shoe angst was wanting penny loafers 'like everyone else" when my Mom would only allow lace-up shoes "for proper support". Supported my feet, not my self esteem...........

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when are moms gonna learn that supporting your kids means both physically and emotionally! haha thanks for sharing Jane

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I moved to Mexico with size 15 shoes. Now I wear size 12.5, which is the same size I had when I stopped growing as a teenager. Why this difference? I was heavier and when you gain weight, your feet also grow. Also, I went from driving all day every day to walking and cycling everywhere. Don't own a car anymore. My feet got stronger and shrank. I threw out all my shoes.

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dAng. I wanna get super fit and have strong shoes. but no more shrinking. I simply can't afford any more shrinking.

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SUCH a great post! Congratulations on being recommended - that's so exciting!

I'm so glad you are now in a state of truth and reconciliation with your feet, and that they're so comfy at last.

My relationship to shoes: I HATE BUYING FOOTWEAR. I'm a 6ft+ slab of a girl who takes a UK size 8 (US 10), which is just about fine, because most ladies' shoes are available up to that size, BUT I need a 9 (US 11) in walking boots and running shoes... which I can only get in men's styles.

Surgery to make me shorter or taller: difficult question! I'd only want to be shorter if I could reduce the (almost-equivalent, not joking) width of my shoulders! Is there a 'petite all over' button I could press, please?

https://rebeccaholden.substack.com/p/4-size-matters

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hahaha omg ur piece is so funny! especially the word 'feller' lol

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Thanks so much, Alex! 🤣 So glad you enjoyed it! I found out over the summer that I'm actually too tall to fit under most campsite showers... https://rebeccaholden.substack.com/p/27-too-tall-to-shower

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I also read that article about height extension surgery and I was horrified!

Not to brag, but here goes: I am 5-foot 7-inches. Which is really the ideal height for a lady. There is no better height.

As for footwear, at points in my life when I was heavier, my shoes size increased from a 9 to 9-1/2 and even at one point to 10. So if you want to fit bigger shoes, maybe you should get very fat?

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ok fine don't squeeze my arm. is that the phrase? its twist my arm isn't it? i like squeeze more tho

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Congrats on your well-deserved feature! I hope you’re brightening ever more mailboxes!

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thank you Jillian!!!

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