How do I know? My shoes. They're way too big. ALSO: we're a Substack Recommended Publication!
Update: I just checked and my new shoes actually ARE size 7.5. Even now, in my confessional essay, I can’t help but lie about wearing bigger shoes hahaha
This has inspired me to finally go bra shopping, so thank you.
My feet grew while pregnant and now my shoes are too small!! So mayhaps you should wish for a surgery to gain a uterus, etcetera? Why not also create a human while also going up a half or full size in the foot region?
While we are in true shoe confessions mode. My shoe shame is, as a 5’7” slim built woman I am a perfect 8.5 shoe. A perfect 8.5 man’s shoe! Your shame is nothing Try finding a sexy slingback for some seriously wide feet. I Really enjoyed your confessional and congrats on the Substack recommendation !
Fun fact - Shoe sizes are measured in barleycorns. My husband is one barleycorn too many for MOST shoe stores. An expensive pain in the butt over a singular barleycorn.
Kobe 2s were great but real heads love Nike Air Zoom Flight 98 "The Glove"
Congratulations on become a featured Substack! As wrestling crowds chant, "YOU DE-SERVE-IT!" 👏👏 👏👏👏
From early college to my late 30s I always wore the same type of shoe: Sketchers bowling shoe style sneakers. I loved how they looked (a bowling shoe? outside?!) and they were super comfortable. After awhile, they stopped selling them, but you could still buy pairs on eBay. Eventually, the market dried up. My last pair of shoes were a pair of regular black Sketchers that I absolutely hated. They were super uncomfortable and didn't look great. Oh Sketchers, how far you've fallen.
I just got a pair of Hokas and they're pretty comfortable so far. But I miss those bowling shoes.
I’m really excited for you! And slightly jealous because I have a tendency to play the comparison game too often even though I know it’s stupid and doesn’t serve me well.
Also, I say I’m 6’1”, but I’m more like 6’1/2”.
Man, Alex, congratulations, talk about being big enough to fill someone's shoes, full on Bruce, this was awesome.
My relationship with shoes:
Spouse was in court for a DUI, been married only a few months.
Somehow the line of questioning became his shoe size and all I remember is him saying his shoes didn't fit right, one foot was smaller than the other.
Laughter burst forth in the courtroom.
Enjoyed your rant, and do not have much to say about my feet. I do have kids with shoe size awareness problems, and a husband who moved to Canada as a boy and was dragged as a young man into my fun but dysfunctional WASP family, but mostly I am writing to say I just love your cheerful blabbing. I think my husband will point out that when he is cheerfully blabbing I sometimes say I want more quiet, so now I do feel a bit guilty. Congratulations on BAT recommendation!
Thanks for another true story. My shoe angst was wanting penny loafers 'like everyone else" when my Mom would only allow lace-up shoes "for proper support". Supported my feet, not my self esteem...........
I moved to Mexico with size 15 shoes. Now I wear size 12.5, which is the same size I had when I stopped growing as a teenager. Why this difference? I was heavier and when you gain weight, your feet also grow. Also, I went from driving all day every day to walking and cycling everywhere. Don't own a car anymore. My feet got stronger and shrank. I threw out all my shoes.
SUCH a great post! Congratulations on being recommended - that's so exciting!
I'm so glad you are now in a state of truth and reconciliation with your feet, and that they're so comfy at last.
My relationship to shoes: I HATE BUYING FOOTWEAR. I'm a 6ft+ slab of a girl who takes a UK size 8 (US 10), which is just about fine, because most ladies' shoes are available up to that size, BUT I need a 9 (US 11) in walking boots and running shoes... which I can only get in men's styles.
Surgery to make me shorter or taller: difficult question! I'd only want to be shorter if I could reduce the (almost-equivalent, not joking) width of my shoulders! Is there a 'petite all over' button I could press, please?
I also read that article about height extension surgery and I was horrified!
Not to brag, but here goes: I am 5-foot 7-inches. Which is really the ideal height for a lady. There is no better height.
As for footwear, at points in my life when I was heavier, my shoes size increased from a 9 to 9-1/2 and even at one point to 10. So if you want to fit bigger shoes, maybe you should get very fat?
Congrats on your well-deserved feature! I hope you’re brightening ever more mailboxes!