Do you have other unanswerable questions? Please post below.
PLEASE I BEG YOU ALL, DO NOT TRY TO ANSWER THE BRAIN BUSTERS I POSED OR ANY OTHER QUESTIONS IN THIS THREAD. THE LAST FEW PEOPLE WHO TRIED ENDED UP AT THE BRAIN HOSPITAL BECAUSE THEIR BRAINS HURT SO MUCH.
I have an answer. In a word: process. Like great art and emotional breakthroughs, almond milk and peanut butter aren't just the sum of their ingredients, they're the product of good process. You had the right ingredients, and your mouth-based process had the gist of it, but peanut butter and almond milk, like great art and emotional breakthroughs, take a lot of time because the ingredients need a lot of work to be transformed into something beautiful. It's all process, Alex. Well, process and ball bearings.
Michael I am making an exception to the 'do not try to answer' rule for this. As I understand it, I just need to keep the peanut butter mixture in my mouth long enough, and THEN all of a sudden there will be a breakthrough and it'll taste like peanut butter, yes? Ok good. It's been three hours and still nothing on my side. Will report back with more soon
Can't wait for the full report. But remember, your mouth probably isn't as powerful as the industrial machines they use to agitate (is that the verb??) the peanut butter, so you'll need to run your mouth longer than they run those machines. What I'm saying is, be careful, dude! You have the ingredients and a better process for almond milk and peanut butter, but like art and emotional breakthroughs, you might not survive the experience to savor the results. Basically, don't Confederacy of Dunces the almond milk, man.
That's a trick question. That is in fact how both peanut butter and almond milk are made.
The real question is why don't all the people whose job it is to chew up peanuts and almonds all day in order to make our peanut butters and almond milks come forward about their work?
Alex. You are breaking my brain. And I came here to write that comment before I even saw your comment. These are things we cannot think about! Just accept the almond milk! Worship the peanut butter! DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS
It was Rilke who said “Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves…Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them…Live the questions now… “
Wow. I love that tattoo. I had not read that post. It was before I discovered your delightful Substack. I just also really love that quote. I think I first heard it from Krista Tippett, where I here most good things for the first time. I have read your post now. Im going to reread later when I have more time to let it simmer. You should check this one out when you have time as it resonates with what you wrote, I think https://pocketfulofprose.substack.com/p/lost-in-translation
And a followup, if I may: who tf is putting salt in their almond milk?
I am admittedly an almond milk elitist who MAKES MY OWN ALMOND MILK twice a week but I almost ran out and grabbed whatever that brand is because tbh it’s a giant PITA. But imagining salty almond milk makes me gag so maybe not???
I drink almond milk but buy it ready made 2 liters at a time. I have two friends who make their own and swear by it. It sounds crazy to me but don't know what is involved!!! I would guess there is a machine involved and that means another thing to store. I occasionally post about stupid kitchen gadgets. Gotta learn more about DIY nut milk. So once you make it do you store it in glass jars? I think you, Nicci, should write about this -- here is my opinion of the dumbest kitchen gadget ever. This is for making "specialty ice" -- this is a thing now -- https://youtu.be/NPXwaBCTdXY
Well, let me tell you. First of all, I will write about it. Adding to drafts now. The only gadget I have to use is a blender (a really good one, but still just a blender), and then I use an (I'm sorry again) nut milk bag to separate the liquid from the pulp. It's actually a very straightforward process. HOWEVER. There have now been 2 (TWO!) nut milk (sorry again) devices pitched on Shark Tank and every time I'm like YES HOW MUCH IS IT TAKE ALL MY MONEY. But then I look more into it I realize that it either only makes an espresso-sized portion or it takes up more counter space than my toaster oven. So until those problems are solved, I will stick to making my own. (I tried the store bought stuff once when I ran out of mine, and I couldn't stomach it.) Thanks for making an appearance over on Nicci's Notes! Now I must make my first almond milk batch of the week. (Not joking.) Oh - and yes, I store it in a glass pitcher, preferably one with a lid. But it gets used up so fast, the lid is optional.
When I was VERY YOUNG, we had a milkman (in the 1960s). Such businesses collapsed soon afterwards. I remember a little metal box next to our stoop. We would get milk in returnable glass jars. Since this whole comment thread appeared on Both are True I will say (yes, I am kinda old) and (milk delivery was cool) -- I cannot resist DIY of any sort. If you are interested, send me an email with SUBSTACK in the subject and I will send a link to silly kitchen gadgets. Having a good blender makes sense to me. Having a prescribed place in your kitchen for nut milk bags just sounds funny! My email is mrkjmsdln@gmail.com -- I avoid linking to substack posts in the comments.
So funny -- the dairy industry has petitioned government regulators to NOT ALLOW almond and oat to be called milk but rather nut juice. Comedy desperation
I was kind of surprised. I thought there would be around 1 or percent sodium because maybe they use a little salt to extract the liquid from the almonds?? But 7 percent of DV seemed high to me. Then again, packed food is a case study in hidden salts. If you make homemade almond milk I'm guessing you make other homemade stuff too, so maybe all packaged food products taste a little salty to you??
Hahaha well I have a kid that’s allergic to an ingredient that’s used in just about every processed food so I have made a LOT from scratch. I made a barn cake for one kid’s birthday with homemade fondant. For example.
While is around 99% water, saliva also contains electrolytes, mucus, white blood cells, epithelial cells (from which DNA can be extracted), enzymes (such as lipase and amylase), antimicrobial agents (such as secretory IgA, and lysozymes).
Much richer nutritional profile than any bought or homemade peanut butter / almond mylk imho
If you are halfway chewing nuts tho brew a good coffee and wash it all down. No harm done :)
I think it's AWESOME someone is asking the truly -- sorry, need to stop and wash down these chewed up peanuts with these chewed up almonds -- important questions of the day!
When I was a kid I wanted to make homemade butter so I poured some milk in a bag and shook it for as long as I could. Then I convinced my cousins to switch off with me so that someone was always shaking the bag. (I should add that we were inspired by a Thomas the Tank Engine episode in which a very bumpy journey caused pints of milk to turn into pints of butter.) Needless to say the butter was never produced and I still feel very deceived.
Saliva! The variable that dares not speak its name (because you can’t say ‘saliva’ with your mouth full). Try the same process without involving your mouth and see what happens.
what about non-spent coffee grounds? like Ive been putting coffee beans into my smoothie is that bad? it sure doesn't feel bad it feels good like living
Chemistry is boring but usually true. That is at least half of both are true. Coffee, tea, peanut butter, lots of food stuff is all about easing the oil out...If you want to make PB in your mouth you might need warmer saliva and a lot more patience...I went a long way for a food and chemistry joke...I love your Newsletter -- roasted coffee beans are AWESOME and sound great in a smoothie -- once extracted best used for making your flowers grow
For sure. This morning I popped a coffee bean in my mouth. Gonna try em in smoothie ! As for the oil next time you make coffee ☕ you can see the sheen on it if made from fresh beans kinda cool
but also, if i chew up a bunch of animal remains, you know, the innards and the teeth and the hooves, and add some salt and gravy, WHY DOESN'T IT TASTE LIKE PURINA???
Do you have other unanswerable questions? Please post below.
PLEASE I BEG YOU ALL, DO NOT TRY TO ANSWER THE BRAIN BUSTERS I POSED OR ANY OTHER QUESTIONS IN THIS THREAD. THE LAST FEW PEOPLE WHO TRIED ENDED UP AT THE BRAIN HOSPITAL BECAUSE THEIR BRAINS HURT SO MUCH.
That’s a great name for a game show.
BRAIN BUSTERS
guess we should be the ones to make it ON SUBSTACK
I have an answer. In a word: process. Like great art and emotional breakthroughs, almond milk and peanut butter aren't just the sum of their ingredients, they're the product of good process. You had the right ingredients, and your mouth-based process had the gist of it, but peanut butter and almond milk, like great art and emotional breakthroughs, take a lot of time because the ingredients need a lot of work to be transformed into something beautiful. It's all process, Alex. Well, process and ball bearings.
Michael I am making an exception to the 'do not try to answer' rule for this. As I understand it, I just need to keep the peanut butter mixture in my mouth long enough, and THEN all of a sudden there will be a breakthrough and it'll taste like peanut butter, yes? Ok good. It's been three hours and still nothing on my side. Will report back with more soon
Can't wait for the full report. But remember, your mouth probably isn't as powerful as the industrial machines they use to agitate (is that the verb??) the peanut butter, so you'll need to run your mouth longer than they run those machines. What I'm saying is, be careful, dude! You have the ingredients and a better process for almond milk and peanut butter, but like art and emotional breakthroughs, you might not survive the experience to savor the results. Basically, don't Confederacy of Dunces the almond milk, man.
STILL WAITING HAVENT SLEPT
This is unexpectedly sweet.
2 things, food processor and a cheesecloth.
That will work, too. nut milk bags are much less messy for me!
That's a trick question. That is in fact how both peanut butter and almond milk are made.
The real question is why don't all the people whose job it is to chew up peanuts and almonds all day in order to make our peanut butters and almond milks come forward about their work?
bout to break this news on substack.om
🤣 and yuck!
Didn't Aristotle try to answer this in his work "Metapeanuts"?
yes he did and its why he was killed
Alex. You are breaking my brain. And I came here to write that comment before I even saw your comment. These are things we cannot think about! Just accept the almond milk! Worship the peanut butter! DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS
it is best to ask the questions while knowing there are no answers. this, is, in fact the way
2 answers:
1) your spit is an added ingredient and contains enzymes that break down the proteins and such in a way the processing plant wouldn't; and
2) there's some degree of taste adaption / hedonistic treadmill that reduces the flavors as you're going
Now my question:
People eat steak and eggs. They eat bacon or sausage or ham and eggs.
Why don't they eat chicken and eggs?
because its matricide or something. Also I've done it and its delicious
It was Rilke who said “Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves…Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them…Live the questions now… “
😂
hahaha wait I can't tell if this is a callback to a post i made a while back about that quote or not but I do in fact love that quote. in fact so much so that i got a big ass tattoo based on it hahaha https://botharetrue.substack.com/p/the-life-changing-magic-of-living
Wow. I love that tattoo. I had not read that post. It was before I discovered your delightful Substack. I just also really love that quote. I think I first heard it from Krista Tippett, where I here most good things for the first time. I have read your post now. Im going to reread later when I have more time to let it simmer. You should check this one out when you have time as it resonates with what you wrote, I think https://pocketfulofprose.substack.com/p/lost-in-translation
I also have to find a new therapist.
And a followup, if I may: who tf is putting salt in their almond milk?
I am admittedly an almond milk elitist who MAKES MY OWN ALMOND MILK twice a week but I almost ran out and grabbed whatever that brand is because tbh it’s a giant PITA. But imagining salty almond milk makes me gag so maybe not???
wait so making your own almond milk is...good? or bad? is it a money saving thing can I save money will I save money?
I honestly don’t think we save money on it. We probably spend more tbh. Organic almonds are expensive AFAFAFAFAF.
I drink almond milk but buy it ready made 2 liters at a time. I have two friends who make their own and swear by it. It sounds crazy to me but don't know what is involved!!! I would guess there is a machine involved and that means another thing to store. I occasionally post about stupid kitchen gadgets. Gotta learn more about DIY nut milk. So once you make it do you store it in glass jars? I think you, Nicci, should write about this -- here is my opinion of the dumbest kitchen gadget ever. This is for making "specialty ice" -- this is a thing now -- https://youtu.be/NPXwaBCTdXY
Well, let me tell you. First of all, I will write about it. Adding to drafts now. The only gadget I have to use is a blender (a really good one, but still just a blender), and then I use an (I'm sorry again) nut milk bag to separate the liquid from the pulp. It's actually a very straightforward process. HOWEVER. There have now been 2 (TWO!) nut milk (sorry again) devices pitched on Shark Tank and every time I'm like YES HOW MUCH IS IT TAKE ALL MY MONEY. But then I look more into it I realize that it either only makes an espresso-sized portion or it takes up more counter space than my toaster oven. So until those problems are solved, I will stick to making my own. (I tried the store bought stuff once when I ran out of mine, and I couldn't stomach it.) Thanks for making an appearance over on Nicci's Notes! Now I must make my first almond milk batch of the week. (Not joking.) Oh - and yes, I store it in a glass pitcher, preferably one with a lid. But it gets used up so fast, the lid is optional.
When I was VERY YOUNG, we had a milkman (in the 1960s). Such businesses collapsed soon afterwards. I remember a little metal box next to our stoop. We would get milk in returnable glass jars. Since this whole comment thread appeared on Both are True I will say (yes, I am kinda old) and (milk delivery was cool) -- I cannot resist DIY of any sort. If you are interested, send me an email with SUBSTACK in the subject and I will send a link to silly kitchen gadgets. Having a good blender makes sense to me. Having a prescribed place in your kitchen for nut milk bags just sounds funny! My email is mrkjmsdln@gmail.com -- I avoid linking to substack posts in the comments.
this entire discussion is fascinating. i have done some googling and it looks like almond milk is not much cheaper than store bought, BUT OAT MILK IS!
How do you milk the almonds? What do you feed them?
Haha. I feed them water, in which they soak for 8+ hours, and then milk them through a (I’m sorry) nut milk bag. 😳
That is some of the lowest hanging comedic gold fruit I have ever encountered in the wild.
Haha. Yes. I don’t often talk about this in public 🤣
It's still not milk. It's almond water. 😂
I will accept this interpretation. As long as I get my daily smoothie, call it almond grease for all I care. 🤣
No accounting for gastronomic tastes. 😁
So funny -- the dairy industry has petitioned government regulators to NOT ALLOW almond and oat to be called milk but rather nut juice. Comedy desperation
Good thing I make mine at home so I can call it what I want. 😂
Truth better than fiction. https://www.google.com/amp/s/arstechnica.com/science/2023/02/almond-milk-can-keep-its-name-despite-lack-of-lactation-fda-says/amp/
😂
Just checked my almond breeze. It has 170mg of sodium, roughly 7% of my daily value. But it doesn't taste salty.
'daily value' is funny. like 'here ya go lil guy, sodium is valuable for you but only up to a certain amount, every day'
note to self - workshop this bit.
can't wait to see what you do with the food pyramid visuals.
So interesting. Makes me want to experiment with my homemade stuff!
I was kind of surprised. I thought there would be around 1 or percent sodium because maybe they use a little salt to extract the liquid from the almonds?? But 7 percent of DV seemed high to me. Then again, packed food is a case study in hidden salts. If you make homemade almond milk I'm guessing you make other homemade stuff too, so maybe all packaged food products taste a little salty to you??
Yeah 7% seemed high. I do make a lot of homemade stuff but also I love salt. 🤣 I probably wouldn’t notice!
WHAT ELSE
Hahaha well I have a kid that’s allergic to an ingredient that’s used in just about every processed food so I have made a LOT from scratch. I made a barn cake for one kid’s birthday with homemade fondant. For example.
can i feel intrigued and nauseated at the same time?
yes
Answer: extracellular fluid aka saliva.
While is around 99% water, saliva also contains electrolytes, mucus, white blood cells, epithelial cells (from which DNA can be extracted), enzymes (such as lipase and amylase), antimicrobial agents (such as secretory IgA, and lysozymes).
Much richer nutritional profile than any bought or homemade peanut butter / almond mylk imho
If you are halfway chewing nuts tho brew a good coffee and wash it all down. No harm done :)
wait so what yo're saying is, to mix almonds with my spit and I'll be superhealthy?
I think it's AWESOME someone is asking the truly -- sorry, need to stop and wash down these chewed up peanuts with these chewed up almonds -- important questions of the day!
wait you combined chewed up peanuts AND chewed up almonds? That's...never been done
It's why I'm a Nobel Prize nominee...
congrats on that btw
When I was a kid I wanted to make homemade butter so I poured some milk in a bag and shook it for as long as I could. Then I convinced my cousins to switch off with me so that someone was always shaking the bag. (I should add that we were inspired by a Thomas the Tank Engine episode in which a very bumpy journey caused pints of milk to turn into pints of butter.) Needless to say the butter was never produced and I still feel very deceived.
wait i dont get why the butter was never produced? did yall stop shaking the bag?
Saliva! The variable that dares not speak its name (because you can’t say ‘saliva’ with your mouth full). Try the same process without involving your mouth and see what happens.
Now my brain hurts.
same. mostly cuz i havent eaten in days just been holding this almond paste in my mouth praying it turns into almond milk soon
The next time I have the existential urge to sample my spent coffee grounds, I will ponder this.
what about non-spent coffee grounds? like Ive been putting coffee beans into my smoothie is that bad? it sure doesn't feel bad it feels good like living
Chemistry is boring but usually true. That is at least half of both are true. Coffee, tea, peanut butter, lots of food stuff is all about easing the oil out...If you want to make PB in your mouth you might need warmer saliva and a lot more patience...I went a long way for a food and chemistry joke...I love your Newsletter -- roasted coffee beans are AWESOME and sound great in a smoothie -- once extracted best used for making your flowers grow
so it IS all about oil after all
For sure. This morning I popped a coffee bean in my mouth. Gonna try em in smoothie ! As for the oil next time you make coffee ☕ you can see the sheen on it if made from fresh beans kinda cool
bout to start putting coffee beans between my toes
what do you mean, DOGS DON'T HAVE HOOVES
i cannot
but also, if i chew up a bunch of animal remains, you know, the innards and the teeth and the hooves, and add some salt and gravy, WHY DOESN'T IT TASTE LIKE PURINA???
this is too much