hold on...are we talking about the Masters? seriously tho the comments in this Forum (ohh god now a hockey reference, im dreadful but us Boston fans are incorrigible...) are like being at the Surf Club in Montauk schlepping with super sensitive intelligent people as the sun goes down on a late June evening and ok Gary Clarke jr. and band are about to rip into "When My Train Pulls In" and you just KNOW that riff will begin to make sense of some of it....
I've thrown so many notebooks away. Or gone back and torn out the handful of pages that I actually filled so that I could repurpose it for my new and definitely better system of note taking that will absolutely persist into perpetuity. And then I've gone through like seven or eight hundred different digital note-taking paradigms.
They all work. None of them work. I really like your insight that the point isn't really to save the ideas as to persuade your brain that the ideas themselves are worth paying attention to. Worth having. Worth sometimes using somehow. Writing a thing down is like giving your brain a pat on the wrinkles and saying, "Good brain. Good. Keep doing that."
The other thing that excessive note-taking does is help me fight the war against the feeling I've had since I was young, that I've never been able to fully and completely shake off, that creativity is somehow a scarce resource. That I have to conserve it, somehow. That I better not waste any of my handful of beautiful, glowing, golden ideas because one day there just won't be anymore. Or something.
Which is bullshit, of course. If I try to use up whatever creative juice I have in a given day, I'll end up with more tomorrow. Creativity is an abundant, self-regenerative resource.
dude ok but have you heard of TANA its gonna change everything it will fundementally change notetaking as we all know it. jk do not look it up its weird and good but i have lost weeks to it and i dont understand it hahahahelp.
agree w you about the scarcity. I heard a dude, kevin kelly, say he tries to give all his ideas away. the ones no one takes, he pursues. I dont think he realizes how smug that sounds lol but there is something to it maybe
hahaha god what's his deal. also i think ppl are realizing the 1000 fans thing is bullshit, sort of. him and seth godin and the others i do not like them they scare me
I was already non-ironically planning to go out to purchase a new notebook laster today! Yes, I have other, pretty unused notebooks, and yes, I also have a bunch of already started notebooks with only a few pages already used. But there's something about a BRAND NEW NOTEBOOK that makes my heart happy. Should I deny my heart? NO! The answer is no.
Have you read the children’s book What do you do with an idea? If not, you should get it for you and s as also for Wilder 😌I can relate to bring a chaos muppet. The idea of someone reading my journals is a little frightening. My journals are seeds of ideas but also morning pages and lots of feelings. I think I might want to have a bonfire with them at some point.
omg i need that book. buying it now. I've burned a bunch of shit, but never the notebooks. I think I actually burned a bunch of my weed stuff one night. Or something. Maybe Distance stuff. I can't remember lol
YES to this. My notebooks have so many feelings in them, for years I couldn't even look at them. As I edge further into adulthood and healing some of my past, I feel able to handle them without total disgust, lol, even with bits of compassion and love.
honestly I feel like the more space I get from my own stuff, the more I can love it. The critic fades and instead there's a really kind sort of love for lil me or something
This is kind of heavy to drop but I had brain surgery last year and that was a real palate cleanser. So much emotional baggage went poof (and got replaced by some other, realer stuff). There is this new kind of access to tenderness for myself. It was wild. I love to hear about your development with this. Yes to all the lil guys in us. ✌🏼
omg holy balls that sounds crazy was it crazy? I'm glad you're okay it sounds like you are okay?? Thank you for sharing truly and yes I am glad all the lil guys in us are being taken care of by us big guys who are really just lil guys too when you think about it
I am sort of obsessed with the topic of "notebooks" (sure, they are not called journals if you have a certain anatomy lol). I have tubs of journals labled K's Journals that sit in the basement and broke a few years ago in a single week, like all the stories trapped in those "notebooks" were trying to get out. I am also the worst kind of muppet - a chaos muppet who thinks she's an order muppet (nodding to When Harry Met Sally: "You're the worst kind: a high-maintenance person who thinks she's low-maintenance..." or whatever that line is). Gonna get squishy here: I am also trying to make peace with the part of me that used to quote Leo unironically. (In my case, I have a note from childhood putting down "Die Hard" as a movie I *must* see to complete my critical education.) Your writing brings me a lot of joy - other things that do that are statues of St. Francis and Brussels sprouts, so you are in good company.
I was more thinking about when the police officer, the guy from Family Matters, who is helping Bruce Willis, shares rather nonchalantly that he works at a desk because he killed a kid and I feel like there is a suggestion that he might be returning to the street after helping Bruce navigate this crisis- that was crazy to watch now
hahahahaha god I love all of this. but especially i am curious what is it that makes someone judge the leo quote? Like, the innocent me who heard leo and was like yea!! that's it!! we must go back
I might be off and also, like, “Kara stop responding let the poor guy go do some work”… but I feel like being alive is just embarrassing sometimes. Like, the parts of us that are like: “yess!!! Life!! Leo quote!! I respond to you!” are the same parts present in a newborn kitten. And so many parts of us (ok, me) are like: you know what would be cool? If you would STOP BEING A NEWBORN KITTEN for one gd second!! You are going to get us in TROUBLE in this world full of wolves! And that part of me is a real a-hole, haha, and not as useful to me now that in my forties as the kitten is (meow). And maybe I shouldn’t have let that part of me win so much in the cover-up game. (It didn’t work anyway, news flash. Still a kitten, wearing glasses and driving a car.)
3. I have four different notebooks going all the time like a Doris Lessing character!
4. They have not gotten away they are merely unmanifested.
5. I have not become jaded because...wow what a good question that is? Is this something one can consciously control? People say they are trying not to become jaded but what does that really consist of?
6. I’m at the salon getting my hair bleached out!!! Yippee!!!
Thanks for mentioning The Golden Notebook. I read that book in my twenties and it seared my mind. I reread it a few years back and yes, it's dated in certain respects but still—DORIS FUCKING LESSING
Also, some of those questions aren't for me because obviously I read Jillian's piece and I read Situation Normal (well, I read it before it goes live, but it's not like I read it for shits & giggles), and you know my note-taking style. BUT! I do have an idea that keeps getting away. It's a store that sells socks, just socks. It's called Socks to Be You. On one level, it's kind of negative because it sounds like sucks to be you, but the vibe actually operates on a more literal, less ironic level, where you're literally getting Socks. To Be You! That's it. That's the idea that keeps getting away from me. I probably won't go into the sock game, but if there are some BATheads out there who want to sell socks, PLEASE use that name so I can promo your store, and buy all my socks there.
brother that is not a great idea. it IS a good idea though, which is why it'd be perfect for my conglomerate Good Not Great inc. we only work with good, not great products.
enough trying to be great. isnt it time we be good?
the idea of good not great is, itself, a good not great idea
honestly socks to be you is on the border between just terrible and good but since we know you, we'll let you in
You didn't mention in your Oct 2022 post (essay?) (that I just read cuz I'm a newbie subscriber) about your Prius dying feet from your driveway that you live on a street slightly less steep (steepless?) than the 9th steepest in the country, in Echo Park (along with Silver Lake the backdrop depicting hipster LA in every indie movie ever made). New found respect for Moshjesus who helped you push it. Bet he has some guns. I am too cheap for the paywall (so many Substacks, so little time) but too proud to beg, so thank you for the preview and I'll look forward to the next free essay (post?).
dang ken you are READING the posts I love it. I did in fact move between those two stories. Had Onyx died in Echo Park, it woulda stayed dead I am pretty sure lol.
3) I’ve been keeping a journal since the 5th grade- really interesting stuff, too. Country music lyrics, stuff about how evil and stupid my mom is (she isn’t, really), pages of how I was going to spend my allowance money (on teen magazines with posters of Hanson in them). Really riveting stuff.
But then in my 20’s during a quarter life crisis I went backpacking for 14 months and kept journals then, too. And eventually I tried writing a book (still in process!) and suddenly all those journals came in really handy and now that I’m at the ripe old age of almost 36, I’m so grateful I have decades of notes from my life because I literally cannot remember like what I did yesterday.
Glad I’m not alone in the obsessive note keeper club, Alex!
Alex, I'm so pumped for the personal paywall stuff! I know you're probably nervous right now, and let's be honest, that's a good sign. But the BAT community is excited, and we'll be there Thursday behind the paywall ready to cheer you on.
aw dude thank youuuu that meant a lot to read just now as we have crossed the ruburtccon and now i am just mostly confused like idk what to do haha i am gonna go to a bookstore i think soon so i dont keep just staring at the screen
Dang, why didn’t I start a green tub too? Now my biographer will have to dig through lots of different boxes and then probably leave out something really brilliant when they miss one box!
Do you have a favorite pen? My handwriting absolutely reaches a peak performance level with PILOT Precise P-500 Gel Ink Rolling Ball Stick Pens.
My latest brilliant move: I put my sci-fi anthology up for free on Amazon for five straight days. Just because.
whoaaaa that pen honestly looks dope. does it smudge? i'm a lefty and have to take that into account. but my fav go to pen is also a pilot - the precise v5! its my go to, but at the same time, I have been trying to do a lot more fountain pen stuff cuz why not!
Oh Alex, I love reading your stuff! And yes, I feel your hope and your creativity still boiling, roiling, surging. You still make me cry; but I can’t figure out if it’s my hope or my regret in not writing everything down as it happened. It’s not a painful response, more a reconnection to self which I imagine or maybe you’ve already said, that you’re aiming for....
I used to write in my journal, just for me and recently I’ve started again. So hope is not lost.
Thanks for sharing yourself and your process, Alex.
thank you Dianne that's really kind! Hope and regret are sort of the same thing, when you think about it, but regret is just looking in the wrong direction. idk if that makes sense but i'm gonna go with it!
Congrats to you and Michael on the well-deserved spotlight! I have too many old notebooks and I only look through them when I’m moving. As much as I love pop culture nostalgia, I find personal nostalgia kinda painful in a cringey way.
I love my lil notebooks, my archives, my SCRIBBLES
scribz
wowowowowow so excited for Thursday!! The hype!!! The anticipation!!! the FEELINGS
the main stream media won't leave me alone
hold on...are we talking about the Masters? seriously tho the comments in this Forum (ohh god now a hockey reference, im dreadful but us Boston fans are incorrigible...) are like being at the Surf Club in Montauk schlepping with super sensitive intelligent people as the sun goes down on a late June evening and ok Gary Clarke jr. and band are about to rip into "When My Train Pulls In" and you just KNOW that riff will begin to make sense of some of it....
dang i havent listened to gary clark j in a min. here we goooo
RAG OF A MAG RAZZMATAZZZ MAGIC
i have to do a wellness check on u now r u well?
well as hellllll
I've thrown so many notebooks away. Or gone back and torn out the handful of pages that I actually filled so that I could repurpose it for my new and definitely better system of note taking that will absolutely persist into perpetuity. And then I've gone through like seven or eight hundred different digital note-taking paradigms.
They all work. None of them work. I really like your insight that the point isn't really to save the ideas as to persuade your brain that the ideas themselves are worth paying attention to. Worth having. Worth sometimes using somehow. Writing a thing down is like giving your brain a pat on the wrinkles and saying, "Good brain. Good. Keep doing that."
The other thing that excessive note-taking does is help me fight the war against the feeling I've had since I was young, that I've never been able to fully and completely shake off, that creativity is somehow a scarce resource. That I have to conserve it, somehow. That I better not waste any of my handful of beautiful, glowing, golden ideas because one day there just won't be anymore. Or something.
Which is bullshit, of course. If I try to use up whatever creative juice I have in a given day, I'll end up with more tomorrow. Creativity is an abundant, self-regenerative resource.
Thus: 150 notebooks of chaotic note taking.
You're a geyser, my friend.
dude ok but have you heard of TANA its gonna change everything it will fundementally change notetaking as we all know it. jk do not look it up its weird and good but i have lost weeks to it and i dont understand it hahahahelp.
agree w you about the scarcity. I heard a dude, kevin kelly, say he tries to give all his ideas away. the ones no one takes, he pursues. I dont think he realizes how smug that sounds lol but there is something to it maybe
I have NOT heard of TANA. Guess I'm gonna have to go spend six hours convincing myself it'll fix all my problems.
Also, Kevin Kelly pulls off smugness better than pretty much anybody, I think.
hahaha god what's his deal. also i think ppl are realizing the 1000 fans thing is bullshit, sort of. him and seth godin and the others i do not like them they scare me
Me too, Al. Me too.
BUT WHAT IF THAT ONE IDEA WAS THE BEST IDEA OF ALL IDEAS AND I FORGET IT??!!
Clearly I, too, have internalized scarcity thinking. 😩😂
I was already non-ironically planning to go out to purchase a new notebook laster today! Yes, I have other, pretty unused notebooks, and yes, I also have a bunch of already started notebooks with only a few pages already used. But there's something about a BRAND NEW NOTEBOOK that makes my heart happy. Should I deny my heart? NO! The answer is no.
I did read Jillian's article and it was tops!
hahaha how did it go? with the new notebook?
I bought TWO of them and we are now a throuple!
this is not only huge, it is wonderful too
Have you read the children’s book What do you do with an idea? If not, you should get it for you and s as also for Wilder 😌I can relate to bring a chaos muppet. The idea of someone reading my journals is a little frightening. My journals are seeds of ideas but also morning pages and lots of feelings. I think I might want to have a bonfire with them at some point.
omg i need that book. buying it now. I've burned a bunch of shit, but never the notebooks. I think I actually burned a bunch of my weed stuff one night. Or something. Maybe Distance stuff. I can't remember lol
I have that bonfire idea ALL the time!
YES to this. My notebooks have so many feelings in them, for years I couldn't even look at them. As I edge further into adulthood and healing some of my past, I feel able to handle them without total disgust, lol, even with bits of compassion and love.
honestly I feel like the more space I get from my own stuff, the more I can love it. The critic fades and instead there's a really kind sort of love for lil me or something
This is kind of heavy to drop but I had brain surgery last year and that was a real palate cleanser. So much emotional baggage went poof (and got replaced by some other, realer stuff). There is this new kind of access to tenderness for myself. It was wild. I love to hear about your development with this. Yes to all the lil guys in us. ✌🏼
omg holy balls that sounds crazy was it crazy? I'm glad you're okay it sounds like you are okay?? Thank you for sharing truly and yes I am glad all the lil guys in us are being taken care of by us big guys who are really just lil guys too when you think about it
I am okay! It was crazy (and isn’t totally over) but now I have a plate in my head so technically I’m a hero :)
god bless america and god bless you specifically1!!
Yes! Learning to treat ourselves tenderly
my life feels like a big ole mess right now and after reading this i'm convincing myself that writing in notebooks will solve everything.
it will, it has, and it did
I am sort of obsessed with the topic of "notebooks" (sure, they are not called journals if you have a certain anatomy lol). I have tubs of journals labled K's Journals that sit in the basement and broke a few years ago in a single week, like all the stories trapped in those "notebooks" were trying to get out. I am also the worst kind of muppet - a chaos muppet who thinks she's an order muppet (nodding to When Harry Met Sally: "You're the worst kind: a high-maintenance person who thinks she's low-maintenance..." or whatever that line is). Gonna get squishy here: I am also trying to make peace with the part of me that used to quote Leo unironically. (In my case, I have a note from childhood putting down "Die Hard" as a movie I *must* see to complete my critical education.) Your writing brings me a lot of joy - other things that do that are statues of St. Francis and Brussels sprouts, so you are in good company.
We recently watched Die Hard- kind of crazy watching it now- it was entertaining and totally nuts. Brussels Sprouts also bring me joy.
the smoking in the airport
I was more thinking about when the police officer, the guy from Family Matters, who is helping Bruce Willis, shares rather nonchalantly that he works at a desk because he killed a kid and I feel like there is a suggestion that he might be returning to the street after helping Bruce navigate this crisis- that was crazy to watch now
But the smoking in the airport, that’s nuts too
hahahahaha god I love all of this. but especially i am curious what is it that makes someone judge the leo quote? Like, the innocent me who heard leo and was like yea!! that's it!! we must go back
I might be off and also, like, “Kara stop responding let the poor guy go do some work”… but I feel like being alive is just embarrassing sometimes. Like, the parts of us that are like: “yess!!! Life!! Leo quote!! I respond to you!” are the same parts present in a newborn kitten. And so many parts of us (ok, me) are like: you know what would be cool? If you would STOP BEING A NEWBORN KITTEN for one gd second!! You are going to get us in TROUBLE in this world full of wolves! And that part of me is a real a-hole, haha, and not as useful to me now that in my forties as the kitten is (meow). And maybe I shouldn’t have let that part of me win so much in the cover-up game. (It didn’t work anyway, news flash. Still a kitten, wearing glasses and driving a car.)
hahahahaah the truth of it all is that theyre all true but also, the wolves are just kittens playing dress em ups
also kids are such a good resource to remember the kitten vibe. wilder has no wolf yet. just kitten
Yesssss
1. Yes so dope!!
2. Dope a dope!!
3. I have four different notebooks going all the time like a Doris Lessing character!
4. They have not gotten away they are merely unmanifested.
5. I have not become jaded because...wow what a good question that is? Is this something one can consciously control? People say they are trying not to become jaded but what does that really consist of?
6. I’m at the salon getting my hair bleached out!!! Yippee!!!
Thanks for mentioning The Golden Notebook. I read that book in my twenties and it seared my mind. I reread it a few years back and yes, it's dated in certain respects but still—DORIS FUCKING LESSING
LOL. She really is a marvel. It took me the first half the book to figure out how to read the second half.
who is this person i will google
i think if you realize you are jaded you can turn the ship around maybe? Or even just turn it slightly, away from the jade? I hope so.
howd ur hair go
who is doris lessing that's not the lady in wiL and grace right?
Also, some of those questions aren't for me because obviously I read Jillian's piece and I read Situation Normal (well, I read it before it goes live, but it's not like I read it for shits & giggles), and you know my note-taking style. BUT! I do have an idea that keeps getting away. It's a store that sells socks, just socks. It's called Socks to Be You. On one level, it's kind of negative because it sounds like sucks to be you, but the vibe actually operates on a more literal, less ironic level, where you're literally getting Socks. To Be You! That's it. That's the idea that keeps getting away from me. I probably won't go into the sock game, but if there are some BATheads out there who want to sell socks, PLEASE use that name so I can promo your store, and buy all my socks there.
brother that is not a great idea. it IS a good idea though, which is why it'd be perfect for my conglomerate Good Not Great inc. we only work with good, not great products.
enough trying to be great. isnt it time we be good?
the idea of good not great is, itself, a good not great idea
honestly socks to be you is on the border between just terrible and good but since we know you, we'll let you in
You didn't mention in your Oct 2022 post (essay?) (that I just read cuz I'm a newbie subscriber) about your Prius dying feet from your driveway that you live on a street slightly less steep (steepless?) than the 9th steepest in the country, in Echo Park (along with Silver Lake the backdrop depicting hipster LA in every indie movie ever made). New found respect for Moshjesus who helped you push it. Bet he has some guns. I am too cheap for the paywall (so many Substacks, so little time) but too proud to beg, so thank you for the preview and I'll look forward to the next free essay (post?).
dang ken you are READING the posts I love it. I did in fact move between those two stories. Had Onyx died in Echo Park, it woulda stayed dead I am pretty sure lol.
3) I’ve been keeping a journal since the 5th grade- really interesting stuff, too. Country music lyrics, stuff about how evil and stupid my mom is (she isn’t, really), pages of how I was going to spend my allowance money (on teen magazines with posters of Hanson in them). Really riveting stuff.
But then in my 20’s during a quarter life crisis I went backpacking for 14 months and kept journals then, too. And eventually I tried writing a book (still in process!) and suddenly all those journals came in really handy and now that I’m at the ripe old age of almost 36, I’m so grateful I have decades of notes from my life because I literally cannot remember like what I did yesterday.
Glad I’m not alone in the obsessive note keeper club, Alex!
hell yaaaaA that makes me happy. hAve you ever seen the show Mortified? https://getmortified.com/
that is alla bout sharing the shame of childhood writings and its amazing.
Haha, I would love to read the poem I wrote about not being one of those “lame” homeschoolers because I was cool and listened to Limp Bizkit. 😂
hahahahaha. they did it all for the nookie and that was cool
Alex, I'm so pumped for the personal paywall stuff! I know you're probably nervous right now, and let's be honest, that's a good sign. But the BAT community is excited, and we'll be there Thursday behind the paywall ready to cheer you on.
aw dude thank youuuu that meant a lot to read just now as we have crossed the ruburtccon and now i am just mostly confused like idk what to do haha i am gonna go to a bookstore i think soon so i dont keep just staring at the screen
yes! go to a bookstore. touch grass. experience the world. the screen will be here when you get back. promise.
Dang, why didn’t I start a green tub too? Now my biographer will have to dig through lots of different boxes and then probably leave out something really brilliant when they miss one box!
Do you have a favorite pen? My handwriting absolutely reaches a peak performance level with PILOT Precise P-500 Gel Ink Rolling Ball Stick Pens.
My latest brilliant move: I put my sci-fi anthology up for free on Amazon for five straight days. Just because.
P.S. Your writing is stellar!
everyone needs a green tub.
whoaaaa that pen honestly looks dope. does it smudge? i'm a lefty and have to take that into account. but my fav go to pen is also a pilot - the precise v5! its my go to, but at the same time, I have been trying to do a lot more fountain pen stuff cuz why not!
where's this anthology i wanna see!
The smudge factor might be an issue, which sucks. My husband’s left handed too and has very specific pens he loves. Yeah, Pilot pens are great!
Here’s my anthology: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B9682CQ6?ref_=k4w_bc_store&tag=kpembed-20&linkCode=kpe [Free, no weird stuff, from April 5-9, 2023]
Oh Alex, I love reading your stuff! And yes, I feel your hope and your creativity still boiling, roiling, surging. You still make me cry; but I can’t figure out if it’s my hope or my regret in not writing everything down as it happened. It’s not a painful response, more a reconnection to self which I imagine or maybe you’ve already said, that you’re aiming for....
I used to write in my journal, just for me and recently I’ve started again. So hope is not lost.
Thanks for sharing yourself and your process, Alex.
I haven’t read the other links yet but I will.
Cheers xxx
Di
thank you Dianne that's really kind! Hope and regret are sort of the same thing, when you think about it, but regret is just looking in the wrong direction. idk if that makes sense but i'm gonna go with it!
Thank you for reading Dianne!!
Congrats to you and Michael on the well-deserved spotlight! I have too many old notebooks and I only look through them when I’m moving. As much as I love pop culture nostalgia, I find personal nostalgia kinda painful in a cringey way.
go toward the cringe! I bet there's some good shit there
* Opens Old Notebook *
Me: HISSSSSS!