I'm an "organized piles" mess. I pile things up, in plain view, but they are piles of like things that represent a full collection of such things. For instance, I have my tax documents piled up behind my computer, the books I've read and want to get off my shelves piled in a corner, my everyday carry and backpack stuff piled up on a chair right beside the exit.

Drives my wife mad. She's the "it's clean if it's invisible" mess type. Things must go in drawers and boxes and containers and belljars or whatever. Doesn't matter if they're related to each other: envelopes can be shelved with books and thumbtacks, while the drawer under my computer is stuffed with open board games and candy. As long as something has a container, it's clean.

Drives me mad. I never know where anything is because a) can't see it and b) things are not organized by likeness, so if I need to write a letter, the envelopes are in one room, the pen in a different room, the stamps are magnetted to the refrigerator and the writing paper is stuffed under the bed.

Obviously the best solution is for us to adopt the good part of each other's cleaning style and do it together, so that the tax forms are collected together stuffed under the bed, the writing materials are stuffed together in the desk, the board games are piled under the giveaway books on the shelves, and my everyday carry and backback stuff remain right beside the door where is practical, but sure let's switch that chair with a cabinet or something.

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I feel seen

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Tongue cleaner and toenail clippers take the whole experience to another level of messiness. And congrats on your knucklefart accumulation progress!

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Mar 14Liked by Alex Dobrenko`

My desk is EXTREMELY TIDY on all fronts. WHY. Because I never start my work day without tidying it. WHY. Honestly I see my time as very valuable and trying to navigate a messy, disorganized and distracting environment is a waste of my time. Also a neat desk is a pleasure! It says that someone (that’s me!) cares about what kind of environment I work in. Sorry to be taking this so seriously when really your post is very fun! I know a lot of people don’t mind a messy desk at all and even take pride in it.

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I love this. I wish there was a way we could share pics of our messy ass spaces - maybe there is? I’m new here

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I was hoping you'd shine a light on the title quirk of "Messy Ass Spaces" also meaning "Messy Spaces" for your "Ass!" Which as we know, our writing corners are, providing we are the kind of writers who sit while they write and not those standing desk types. I actually have one of those combination confessional kneeler/backless chair ergonomic jobbies. I may have to send pics, because my "office" is... unique. Not tongue cleaner/toenail clippers unique, but it's got some stuff. 👀

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My desk is actually clean, I’m prepared for the angry mob, come at me fellow knucklefarts

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Firstly, who are you calling a knucklefart? CHARMING!

4. I am a great proponent of the 'Pile of Denial' (POD). The system is simple. Pile up all the stuff you don't know where to actually PUT, and then tidy the pile to the side of your desk/onto the floor close to but not touching the bin or shredder (you don't want any accidents). There is no height or breadth limit for a POD. Continue the process as necessary, starting a new POD whenever you run out of ceiling space. Once your work/play/living space is neatly full of columns of beautifully-curated PODs, move house. I mean, in the 1980s you'd've bought a new car as soon as the ashtray was full, right? There: same principle.

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Not much to say EXCEPT

(1) the ridiculous immaculate photo includes an item which COULD BE (but hopefully is not) a taser. Hard to unsee.

(2) personal hygiene tools not just at your desk but in your living room (tongue cleaneer & clippers)??? What the hell do you have in your kitchen cabinets, colonoscopy prep?

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Mar 14Liked by Alex Dobrenko`

Steve Jobs’ techno-polyps are too hardcore but knucklefarts ain’t?

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Who knew getting a glimpse into the #unfiltered workspace of a writer you admire could be such an erotic experience.

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Mar 14Liked by Alex Dobrenko`

Yeah, you were totally suckered with that meditation board.

And you still own a mouse pad?


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VERY here for this!!! “Classic shot from above, ft. me the artist and owner of the space” lol owner of the space. Also: are those paintings/pictures in your living room perched against the wall/headboard, waiting to decapitate everyone when/if they fall? I salute you! PS I am a neat-nick and it’s probably undiagnosed OCD. I’m actually messy and also perpetually straightening clutter. And I have two kids. In short, some days it’s a nightmare in my psyche. Do not recommend! And/but your mousepad wins awards.

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toe nail clippers? wtf i must live in a cave because several of the following must occur before i break out the industrial shears that live in the kitchen drawer which routinely open plastic from cereal boxes (remember when cornflakes just came in a fucking BOX and deliriously made contact with just CARDBOARD and still NOBODY FUCKING DIED!!!) to hack away at nails which have become so unruly they cause THIS to happen (there must be 2 ok?):

1. drawing the blood of another human being while in bed or you know, wherever

2.hang up on socks like a treble hook on spawning salmon while wrestling them on in AM and actually slashing them to ribbons like the shower scene from Psycho while triggering upper thigh cramps and resultant cries of anguish ( again see Psycho above)

3. are so cantilevered and sturdily polyurethaned a dull yellow they could be used in place of the glass topped table left outside in backyard for a few years

4. the scope of the clear-cut is so daunting you lie awake the night before plotting out a strategy and actually have a dream where your long beloved and departed dog is holding a highball and cracking:

"How do you like me NOW motherfucker!?&^$!?!!"

5. while at beach small children are overheard discussing "veloci-raptors" when you walk by

6. the tried and true method of peeling from side to side no longer practical ie so tungsten hardened can you imagine peeling off galvanised roofing that way?

anyways with more than 4 likes i will send pic my MAM instead of MAS

my mantle has gathered the oddest assortment of shit and come to think of it

im gonna add now a huuuuuuuuuuuge ass toe nail why not?

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I was hoping you would ask. Please check your inbox...

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dear alex,

thank you for sharing and asking!

1) Where do you fall on the Messy Mel ———— Tidy Tim spectrum?

i'm in the middle i think!

2) Do you like how messy or tidy you are? Why or why not?

i'm fine with it and also i am happy when i am tidier but mess doesn't super bother me.

3) How do other people in your life feel about your mess / tide?

my girlfriend who i live with likes to keep things as orderly as possible, and i support her goals!

4) If you’re good at being tidy HOW DO YOU DO IT

n/a. PS i like how you tidied up the word "tidy" and just made "tide" out of it.



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