I'm an "organized piles" mess. I pile things up, in plain view, but they are piles of like things that represent a full collection of such things. For instance, I have my tax documents piled up behind my computer, the books I've read and want to get off my shelves piled in a corner, my everyday carry and backpack stuff piled up on a chair right beside the exit.
Drives my wife mad. She's the "it's clean if it's invisible" mess type. Things must go in drawers and boxes and containers and belljars or whatever. Doesn't matter if they're related to each other: envelopes can be shelved with books and thumbtacks, while the drawer under my computer is stuffed with open board games and candy. As long as something has a container, it's clean.
Drives me mad. I never know where anything is because a) can't see it and b) things are not organized by likeness, so if I need to write a letter, the envelopes are in one room, the pen in a different room, the stamps are magnetted to the refrigerator and the writing paper is stuffed under the bed.
Obviously the best solution is for us to adopt the good part of each other's cleaning style and do it together, so that the tax forms are collected together stuffed under the bed, the writing materials are stuffed together in the desk, the board games are piled under the giveaway books on the shelves, and my everyday carry and backback stuff remain right beside the door where is practical, but sure let's switch that chair with a cabinet or something.
My desk is EXTREMELY TIDY on all fronts. WHY. Because I never start my work day without tidying it. WHY. Honestly I see my time as very valuable and trying to navigate a messy, disorganized and distracting environment is a waste of my time. Also a neat desk is a pleasure! It says that someone (that’s me!) cares about what kind of environment I work in. Sorry to be taking this so seriously when really your post is very fun! I know a lot of people don’t mind a messy desk at all and even take pride in it.
I was hoping you'd shine a light on the title quirk of "Messy Ass Spaces" also meaning "Messy Spaces" for your "Ass!" Which as we know, our writing corners are, providing we are the kind of writers who sit while they write and not those standing desk types. I actually have one of those combination confessional kneeler/backless chair ergonomic jobbies. I may have to send pics, because my "office" is... unique. Not tongue cleaner/toenail clippers unique, but it's got some stuff. 👀
Firstly, who are you calling a knucklefart? CHARMING!
4. I am a great proponent of the 'Pile of Denial' (POD). The system is simple. Pile up all the stuff you don't know where to actually PUT, and then tidy the pile to the side of your desk/onto the floor close to but not touching the bin or shredder (you don't want any accidents). There is no height or breadth limit for a POD. Continue the process as necessary, starting a new POD whenever you run out of ceiling space. Once your work/play/living space is neatly full of columns of beautifully-curated PODs, move house. I mean, in the 1980s you'd've bought a new car as soon as the ashtray was full, right? There: same principle.
My POD does not live on my desk. It lives in a set of drawers NEAR my desk. It has 4 drawers and 2 and a half of them are currently full holding Important Things. 1 and a half drawers to go!
Yay to the label of 'Important Things' - I absolutely need to rebrand the pages lurking in my POD. You've given me an idea, Medha - if I start accidentally-on-purpose stacking my latest POD very, very close to the filing cabinet, maybe its contents will leap into the drawers and file themselves...?
Ooor, you could play some music and encourage some magical animal friends to playfully move your Important Things into drawers for you? Snow White style?!
(1) the ridiculous immaculate photo includes an item which COULD BE (but hopefully is not) a taser. Hard to unsee.
(2) personal hygiene tools not just at your desk but in your living room (tongue cleaneer & clippers)??? What the hell do you have in your kitchen cabinets, colonoscopy prep?
Haha. I bought a mouse pad at a yard sale a week ago (third time I've mentioned yard sales in the comments of BAT) because I liked the art on. I tried to use it and it was SO MUCH WORSE than using my desk! I can't bear to throw it out, so I'm going to donate it. Maybe it will work better than their desk? If they have a shit desk?
VERY here for this!!! “Classic shot from above, ft. me the artist and owner of the space” lol owner of the space. Also: are those paintings/pictures in your living room perched against the wall/headboard, waiting to decapitate everyone when/if they fall? I salute you! PS I am a neat-nick and it’s probably undiagnosed OCD. I’m actually messy and also perpetually straightening clutter. And I have two kids. In short, some days it’s a nightmare in my psyche. Do not recommend! And/but your mousepad wins awards.
Hahahah thank you. Yes all that shit on the wall is precarious but we have a reason. That’s the wall I tape auditions on so we often have to take them all down
toe nail clippers? wtf i must live in a cave because several of the following must occur before i break out the industrial shears that live in the kitchen drawer which routinely open plastic from cereal boxes (remember when cornflakes just came in a fucking BOX and deliriously made contact with just CARDBOARD and still NOBODY FUCKING DIED!!!) to hack away at nails which have become so unruly they cause THIS to happen (there must be 2 ok?):
1. drawing the blood of another human being while in bed or you know, wherever
2.hang up on socks like a treble hook on spawning salmon while wrestling them on in AM and actually slashing them to ribbons like the shower scene from Psycho while triggering upper thigh cramps and resultant cries of anguish ( again see Psycho above)
3. are so cantilevered and sturdily polyurethaned a dull yellow they could be used in place of the glass topped table left outside in backyard for a few years
4. the scope of the clear-cut is so daunting you lie awake the night before plotting out a strategy and actually have a dream where your long beloved and departed dog is holding a highball and cracking:
"How do you like me NOW motherfucker!?&^$!?!!"
5. while at beach small children are overheard discussing "veloci-raptors" when you walk by
6. the tried and true method of peeling from side to side no longer practical ie so tungsten hardened can you imagine peeling off galvanised roofing that way?
anyways with more than 4 likes i will send pic my MAM instead of MAS
my mantle has gathered the oddest assortment of shit and come to think of it
im gonna add now a huuuuuuuuuuuge ass toe nail why not?
I'm an "organized piles" mess. I pile things up, in plain view, but they are piles of like things that represent a full collection of such things. For instance, I have my tax documents piled up behind my computer, the books I've read and want to get off my shelves piled in a corner, my everyday carry and backpack stuff piled up on a chair right beside the exit.
Drives my wife mad. She's the "it's clean if it's invisible" mess type. Things must go in drawers and boxes and containers and belljars or whatever. Doesn't matter if they're related to each other: envelopes can be shelved with books and thumbtacks, while the drawer under my computer is stuffed with open board games and candy. As long as something has a container, it's clean.
Drives me mad. I never know where anything is because a) can't see it and b) things are not organized by likeness, so if I need to write a letter, the envelopes are in one room, the pen in a different room, the stamps are magnetted to the refrigerator and the writing paper is stuffed under the bed.
Obviously the best solution is for us to adopt the good part of each other's cleaning style and do it together, so that the tax forms are collected together stuffed under the bed, the writing materials are stuffed together in the desk, the board games are piled under the giveaway books on the shelves, and my everyday carry and backback stuff remain right beside the door where is practical, but sure let's switch that chair with a cabinet or something.
Hahahajaja. “And belljars or whatever” is killing me
I feel seen
Tongue cleaner and toenail clippers take the whole experience to another level of messiness. And congrats on your knucklefart accumulation progress!
Hahaha thank you and I’m sorry
My desk is EXTREMELY TIDY on all fronts. WHY. Because I never start my work day without tidying it. WHY. Honestly I see my time as very valuable and trying to navigate a messy, disorganized and distracting environment is a waste of my time. Also a neat desk is a pleasure! It says that someone (that’s me!) cares about what kind of environment I work in. Sorry to be taking this so seriously when really your post is very fun! I know a lot of people don’t mind a messy desk at all and even take pride in it.
This is amazing anne. Could you send a photo?? I gotta see what this desk looks like
I love this. I wish there was a way we could share pics of our messy ass spaces - maybe there is? I’m new here
He shared his stack email and asked for show 'n tell desk day.
Perfect. Missed that. Thank you!
Yes!! In case you anyone else seeing this needs it, here’s the email: botharetrue@substack.com
I was hoping you'd shine a light on the title quirk of "Messy Ass Spaces" also meaning "Messy Spaces" for your "Ass!" Which as we know, our writing corners are, providing we are the kind of writers who sit while they write and not those standing desk types. I actually have one of those combination confessional kneeler/backless chair ergonomic jobbies. I may have to send pics, because my "office" is... unique. Not tongue cleaner/toenail clippers unique, but it's got some stuff. 👀
Send them !! Also is that thing comfy ? The confessional chair
Just sent some pictures. I mention the comfort level of the chair in my email. But for your readers here, it is decidedly meh.
do you actually know or can imagine anyone ever STANDING to write except i dunno Abe Lincoln or hmmmmmm Ron DeSantis ?!!$%%$#@!??
I’ve stood and written
My desk is actually clean, I’m prepared for the angry mob, come at me fellow knucklefarts
I do not wish war with the cleans. Only the cleans who have the gall to post that shit online like they’re so coooool
Firstly, who are you calling a knucklefart? CHARMING!
4. I am a great proponent of the 'Pile of Denial' (POD). The system is simple. Pile up all the stuff you don't know where to actually PUT, and then tidy the pile to the side of your desk/onto the floor close to but not touching the bin or shredder (you don't want any accidents). There is no height or breadth limit for a POD. Continue the process as necessary, starting a new POD whenever you run out of ceiling space. Once your work/play/living space is neatly full of columns of beautifully-curated PODs, move house. I mean, in the 1980s you'd've bought a new car as soon as the ashtray was full, right? There: same principle.
My house in my mind are both pods… Also it seems like the word knucklefart has really tore the both are true community apart
I think POD goes well with my usual “organizational” strategy--the DOOM box. (Don’t organize only move). Boxes full of random items everywhere.
Hahaha
🤣
My POD does not live on my desk. It lives in a set of drawers NEAR my desk. It has 4 drawers and 2 and a half of them are currently full holding Important Things. 1 and a half drawers to go!
Yay to the label of 'Important Things' - I absolutely need to rebrand the pages lurking in my POD. You've given me an idea, Medha - if I start accidentally-on-purpose stacking my latest POD very, very close to the filing cabinet, maybe its contents will leap into the drawers and file themselves...?
Ooor, you could play some music and encourage some magical animal friends to playfully move your Important Things into drawers for you? Snow White style?!
You clearly are not a master at pods. I have cabinets and drawers of pods and a pile on my desk. 😂
I will confess that I am new to pods. It all started when my filing cabinet became full (leaving no more room for filing).
Love this- I have a new name for my stacks
😊
Not much to say EXCEPT
(1) the ridiculous immaculate photo includes an item which COULD BE (but hopefully is not) a taser. Hard to unsee.
(2) personal hygiene tools not just at your desk but in your living room (tongue cleaneer & clippers)??? What the hell do you have in your kitchen cabinets, colonoscopy prep?
Yeah our kitchen doubles as our bathroom
Steve Jobs’ techno-polyps are too hardcore but knucklefarts ain’t?
Correct
Who knew getting a glimpse into the #unfiltered workspace of a writer you admire could be such an erotic experience.
I can confidently say this is the first time I've gotten a comment of this nature. Thank you
Yeah, you were totally suckered with that meditation board.
And you still own a mouse pad?
🤣😂
Haha. I bought a mouse pad at a yard sale a week ago (third time I've mentioned yard sales in the comments of BAT) because I liked the art on. I tried to use it and it was SO MUCH WORSE than using my desk! I can't bear to throw it out, so I'm going to donate it. Maybe it will work better than their desk? If they have a shit desk?
What’s with you and yard sales y’all dating or something
Clearly. Our nuptials shall be formally announced forthwith.
Keep it as desk art? 😁
I still have a couple in a drawer, kept as last century relics.
It's funny to think that people used to express their personalities with their choice of mouse pads.
You used to get them at bar mitzvahs
You can get way more precise with a mouse pad!!!!!
You saw the crumbs on the desk. They were fucking me up. I guess they’re just on the pad now THIS CONVO IS OVER
You moved the crumbs. There's a book title in that. 😂
hahaha
VERY here for this!!! “Classic shot from above, ft. me the artist and owner of the space” lol owner of the space. Also: are those paintings/pictures in your living room perched against the wall/headboard, waiting to decapitate everyone when/if they fall? I salute you! PS I am a neat-nick and it’s probably undiagnosed OCD. I’m actually messy and also perpetually straightening clutter. And I have two kids. In short, some days it’s a nightmare in my psyche. Do not recommend! And/but your mousepad wins awards.
Hahahah thank you. Yes all that shit on the wall is precarious but we have a reason. That’s the wall I tape auditions on so we often have to take them all down
So get that. It’s a house of cards over here too. Flexibility for the plebes 👍
toe nail clippers? wtf i must live in a cave because several of the following must occur before i break out the industrial shears that live in the kitchen drawer which routinely open plastic from cereal boxes (remember when cornflakes just came in a fucking BOX and deliriously made contact with just CARDBOARD and still NOBODY FUCKING DIED!!!) to hack away at nails which have become so unruly they cause THIS to happen (there must be 2 ok?):
1. drawing the blood of another human being while in bed or you know, wherever
2.hang up on socks like a treble hook on spawning salmon while wrestling them on in AM and actually slashing them to ribbons like the shower scene from Psycho while triggering upper thigh cramps and resultant cries of anguish ( again see Psycho above)
3. are so cantilevered and sturdily polyurethaned a dull yellow they could be used in place of the glass topped table left outside in backyard for a few years
4. the scope of the clear-cut is so daunting you lie awake the night before plotting out a strategy and actually have a dream where your long beloved and departed dog is holding a highball and cracking:
"How do you like me NOW motherfucker!?&^$!?!!"
5. while at beach small children are overheard discussing "veloci-raptors" when you walk by
6. the tried and true method of peeling from side to side no longer practical ie so tungsten hardened can you imagine peeling off galvanised roofing that way?
anyways with more than 4 likes i will send pic my MAM instead of MAS
my mantle has gathered the oddest assortment of shit and come to think of it
im gonna add now a huuuuuuuuuuuge ass toe nail why not?
I was hoping you would ask. Please check your inbox...
dear alex,
thank you for sharing and asking!
1) Where do you fall on the Messy Mel ———— Tidy Tim spectrum?
i'm in the middle i think!
2) Do you like how messy or tidy you are? Why or why not?
i'm fine with it and also i am happy when i am tidier but mess doesn't super bother me.
3) How do other people in your life feel about your mess / tide?
my girlfriend who i live with likes to keep things as orderly as possible, and i support her goals!
4) If you’re good at being tidy HOW DO YOU DO IT
n/a. PS i like how you tidied up the word "tidy" and just made "tide" out of it.
love
myq