Thank you for sharing the tunnel. It's really really true in the challenge of being an artist while also trying to live – honestly, this is why I've always just kept my writing as a side job. You are making me braver, though!
The audience/creator relationship is difficult on so many levels.
SCENARIOS
a) You open yourself up to 'building an audience', then you build an audience, then you hate yourself because now you pander to them.
b) You 'build an audience', but nobody wants to be part of your audience, and then you're sad
c) You steadfastly REFUSE to 'build an audiece', nobody pays attention, and you hate yourself anyway
It's hard to deal with. I mostly quit twitter, attempting to find the balance. Substack feels better for me though. I can be me and make the work I want to make, and if people enjoy it I can make more of it. It feels easier to find your people over here than other places.
Anyway, as Limp Bizkit said, 'U DO U' and 'I DID IT ALL FOR THE NOOKIE'
Ugh but that means I have to have self-confidence and put myself out there and be comfortable with risk and comfortable with myself and open to new opportunities and experiences and generally not allow myself to wrap myself in a blanket and pretend I can stay there until given an afterlife that gives me all the good things I want and dream about without any of its negative consequences or the work to get there.
"the suffix “-ation” meaning “party for hitting a milestone of 750 substack subscribers.”
"turtle my way"
"real people strangers"
"Well have I got a button for you"
"more Substack readers, more problems"
"you are a unique wonderful writer and you have created a great place to put your work"
"Too Mopey For The Internet."
"That light ended up being the train from the trolley problem chugging toward me after killing either 1 or 5 people (it wouldn’t say)"
"the Hole mines"
"car mechanics talking about salads"
"yea there’s a lady mechanic what are you a 1950s sicko?"
"everything in the middle (a salad)"
"And this isn’t just comedy: in an episode of comedian Myq Kaplan’s podcast Broccoli & Ice Cream (which everyone should subscribe to) with his friend and therapist Gus Cutz who I have never met but am obsessed with, Gus explains that therapy never works when he gives the advice for free. People need to pay for it so they feel that it has value - that’s a big part of what makes them commit to it."
"hardcore Mastermind Scheming Mode"
"History’s Greatest Minds from George Michael all the way to Fred Durst"
"Easy, peasy, hey frank go ahead and give that lemon a squeezy."
"the more you try to grab hold, the squirmier it gets."
"writing makes me feel good (said in the Ghostbusters theme song music style) especially when its done WITH you the audience, not AT or FOR you."
congratulations! thank you for listening to my podcast and telling other people to do that! maybe jen the mechanic REALLY LOVES BREAD SO MUCH that she doesn't even notice the salad in between the breads unless the breads aren't there (or it's like everything is too spicy for her unless there's enough bread, that kind of thing?), and i love you and this and thank you again!
Boy, I feel like you transcribed the exact conversation I have with my husband every few weeks. He, like your wife, executes a beautiful, graceful sidestep in those situations and we land in the same place. I really appreciate not being the only writer/ actor/ creative who says (or, more often, thinks quietly to myself) NO when someone asks “would you still do this if it were just for you?’ It’s an unpopular opinion, but no less true. The conversation, the shared experience, the collaboration, creating something bigger than a single imagination- that’s the thing.
I cannot tell you how much I love this honesty with wrestling with the global capitalist overlords. Damn. I feel it, we live it as creatives. It's so so hard and there is never a good answer. And what you said tho about audience and improv--exactly--you can't write into a mirror or you'll just get that same thought bouncing back and forth. Writing is about connection through and through, even when you're sending a message in a bottle five hundred years into the future (have not done that but feels like it every. single. day). Yours in solidarity.
I love what you write. I love commenting on everything you write and working in Barenaked Ladies somehow. :) I am truly happy that I found your writing. I don't have a ton of disposable income (see: two children, three cats, the incessant need to see Barenaked Ladies at least once per year) but subscribing to you is SO VERY worth it!
if i am being honest, i am being sad
tuna salad is the worst, DAMMIT JEN
Thank you for sharing the tunnel. It's really really true in the challenge of being an artist while also trying to live – honestly, this is why I've always just kept my writing as a side job. You are making me braver, though!
team lauren rules
767 just like a plane babyyyyy!
I always assumed, but U know what happens with that –– is the header image Wylder?
I was wondering when the next BAT was going to hit my inbox! Thanks for writing.
This was great, Alex! So glad I found Both Are True!
Alright, so time to get serious for 4.5 seconds
The audience/creator relationship is difficult on so many levels.
SCENARIOS
a) You open yourself up to 'building an audience', then you build an audience, then you hate yourself because now you pander to them.
b) You 'build an audience', but nobody wants to be part of your audience, and then you're sad
c) You steadfastly REFUSE to 'build an audiece', nobody pays attention, and you hate yourself anyway
It's hard to deal with. I mostly quit twitter, attempting to find the balance. Substack feels better for me though. I can be me and make the work I want to make, and if people enjoy it I can make more of it. It feels easier to find your people over here than other places.
Anyway, as Limp Bizkit said, 'U DO U' and 'I DID IT ALL FOR THE NOOKIE'
"and (2) believing that you have value"
Ugh but that means I have to have self-confidence and put myself out there and be comfortable with risk and comfortable with myself and open to new opportunities and experiences and generally not allow myself to wrap myself in a blanket and pretend I can stay there until given an afterlife that gives me all the good things I want and dream about without any of its negative consequences or the work to get there.
Once again, both are true.
i love this and you!
some specifics i love:
"both are, once more, true."
"Both Are True Pyramid Club"
"the suffix “-ation” meaning “party for hitting a milestone of 750 substack subscribers.”
"turtle my way"
"real people strangers"
"Well have I got a button for you"
"more Substack readers, more problems"
"you are a unique wonderful writer and you have created a great place to put your work"
"Too Mopey For The Internet."
"That light ended up being the train from the trolley problem chugging toward me after killing either 1 or 5 people (it wouldn’t say)"
"the Hole mines"
"car mechanics talking about salads"
"yea there’s a lady mechanic what are you a 1950s sicko?"
"everything in the middle (a salad)"
"And this isn’t just comedy: in an episode of comedian Myq Kaplan’s podcast Broccoli & Ice Cream (which everyone should subscribe to) with his friend and therapist Gus Cutz who I have never met but am obsessed with, Gus explains that therapy never works when he gives the advice for free. People need to pay for it so they feel that it has value - that’s a big part of what makes them commit to it."
"hardcore Mastermind Scheming Mode"
"History’s Greatest Minds from George Michael all the way to Fred Durst"
"Easy, peasy, hey frank go ahead and give that lemon a squeezy."
"the more you try to grab hold, the squirmier it gets."
"writing makes me feel good (said in the Ghostbusters theme song music style) especially when its done WITH you the audience, not AT or FOR you."
congratulations! thank you for listening to my podcast and telling other people to do that! maybe jen the mechanic REALLY LOVES BREAD SO MUCH that she doesn't even notice the salad in between the breads unless the breads aren't there (or it's like everything is too spicy for her unless there's enough bread, that kind of thing?), and i love you and this and thank you again!
Boy, I feel like you transcribed the exact conversation I have with my husband every few weeks. He, like your wife, executes a beautiful, graceful sidestep in those situations and we land in the same place. I really appreciate not being the only writer/ actor/ creative who says (or, more often, thinks quietly to myself) NO when someone asks “would you still do this if it were just for you?’ It’s an unpopular opinion, but no less true. The conversation, the shared experience, the collaboration, creating something bigger than a single imagination- that’s the thing.
Congrats on hitting 750! 🎉 I, too, have had lots of feelings writing on Substack
I cannot tell you how much I love this honesty with wrestling with the global capitalist overlords. Damn. I feel it, we live it as creatives. It's so so hard and there is never a good answer. And what you said tho about audience and improv--exactly--you can't write into a mirror or you'll just get that same thought bouncing back and forth. Writing is about connection through and through, even when you're sending a message in a bottle five hundred years into the future (have not done that but feels like it every. single. day). Yours in solidarity.
I love what you write. I love commenting on everything you write and working in Barenaked Ladies somehow. :) I am truly happy that I found your writing. I don't have a ton of disposable income (see: two children, three cats, the incessant need to see Barenaked Ladies at least once per year) but subscribing to you is SO VERY worth it!
well, have I got a button for you! YES. YES. YES!!! You are DOING IT <3