27 Comments
Jul 2, 2022Liked by Alex Dobrenko`

An essay on how you met your wife. In the style of a 5th grader.

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hi lauren aka my wife. this is a good assignment. let's see if it takes the crown

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THIS ESSAY HAS BEEN WRITTEN AND IS NOW AVAIALBLE FOR PUBLIC CONSUMPTIONS https://botharetrue.substack.com/p/a-5th-grade-essay-about-how-i-met

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This is better than comedy gold - it's layered and has so much potential. GO ALEX GO.

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This is the best.

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Jul 4, 2022Liked by Alex Dobrenko`

This is the winner!!! 🙌🏾

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Shirley Temple so I can compare it to my 5th grade report on Shirley Temple

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omg

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Jul 2, 2022Liked by Alex Dobrenko`

6th grade

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this is actually bold and dangerous but could just work

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Sasha, could you write a report on “What If the Dinosaurs Survived to This Day”?

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i most definitely could, all you gotta do is get the votes

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A wonderful idea!

I would like a report about peanut butter, how much you love it, what kinds of foods you like with it best, do you have jelly preferences, will also accept peanut SAUCE-related content or even just peanuts. The other day I had peanuts avocado sushi and it was DELICIOUS. Feel free to interview/quote me. I have strong opinions!

Also, in your original composition, what were some of the quotes where you quoted yourself? Very resonant!

“Very resonant!” — me a moment ago

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hahahhhaha ok first off how do you know I even like peanut butter?? I do, but i didn't for a while. All this and more in my report.

jump to about 5:30 in this vid to see the self-quote: https://vimeo.com/23661199

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1) thank you for that self-quote data!

2) i'm glad to know that you like peanut butter! i understand it can be controversial!

3) i'm excited to hear about your PB&Journey! are you a creamy guy? a crunchy man? a person who calls crunchy peanut butter "chunky" like it's soup? which is fine, because it's a LITTLE like soup.

looking forward, thank you!

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Jul 4, 2022Liked by Alex Dobrenko`

Alex if you do the peanut butter one please include a poll with the report so we can all vote on creamy vs crunchy and also the best jelly/jam to go with. I like crunchy on whole-grain toast with marmalade OMG.

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i like this idea!

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Jul 2, 2022Liked by Alex Dobrenko`

Why the cashew is the best nut, and walnuts are the worst, except for Brazil nuts, which are even more bad.

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the amount of controversial yet important opinions here? staggering

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I support WALNUTS and peanuts, but ur free to differ.

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OMG this line of thinking is so F'd up. Were you born in a BARN?

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Jul 2, 2022Liked by Alex Dobrenko`

Ooooh I hope I win!!!!!

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I’d like to read an essay by 5th grade Alex on the pros and cons of wire hangers in the 21st century.

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cowabunga

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the sharing economy

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How Google Images started. I would guess 5th grade Alex would have enjoyed picking this topic randomly out of a hat.

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hahaha

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