i suck at LinkedIn networking - plz help??
seriously what am i doing wrong here
Hey y’all — I’ve been too stressed out to write up a normal post because I’ve been trying to figure out how the hell to network on LinkedIn and honestly, things are not going well.
Genuinely asking here — can y’all take a look at my posts below and let me know what you would recommend doing differently?
Brene Brown taught me this
I just finished her book called “Vulnerable” and I was like hell yes ok its cool to be vulnerable at the office now?! Sign me up. I summarized my thoughts here:
That post led to…zero job interviews ??? How is that possible. Why is that possible?
If you fail, try again
I’m really big into Living My Principles right now, so I decided to try posting again about failing and trying again. I’d just finished James Clear book “Habits So Teeny You Can’t Even Find Em With A Microscope” and I was like YES this guy is everything!
I did some research on him and his past and wrote up a quick post on his origin story:
How many emails did I get as a result of this post? One. From James Clear’s attorneys (which sounds like a made up word) asking me to not only cease but also desist? Um… pick one? Lol that’s what I wrote back I said, um…pick one?
Cover letters
I realized that maybe I was using advanced moves for people who are already Established on LinkedIn. So I went back to basics and wrote about cover letters.
Still no jobs or anything so I sorta freaked out because the whole reason I was trying to get a job was to get money and stuff and so I reached out to my rolodex of sponsor partners. Luckily, Saul Costco, a close personal mentor, picked up and said he’d love to partner with me so here’s what that looked like:
We don’t have any data yet on sales but I’m getting some word-of-mouth feedback that the Signature Men’s 5 Pocket Performance Pant is selling better than ever before. Probably didn’t hurt that I suggested Costco set up a sample station for the pants so that anyone could try em on right in the store.
Anyways yea idk I know it takes a lifetime to influence even one person (source: Mark Mansion and Tony Ribbons), so I’ll just keep plugging away.
Li means LinkedIn wake up people.
Comments
do you use linKediN? Can we be friends?
Are you hiring? I am a copywriter guy who knows how to succeed!
what is your job?
What do you buy at Costco?
How do I get a big job?
Ok this is hilarious as usual but also LinkedIn is a weird dystopian society that makes no sense.
I try posting there. I can’t be “me” because I have a real job with real clients that need me to be sane. But also, it’s like, everyone speaks in this bizarre “LinkedIn language” like they’ve all been brainwashed similar to that show Severance.
You need to sign the Linked Oath of toxic positivity, never saying icky stuff, and making up stories about your kids. You need to write in a certain way, where every sentence is a new paragraph. You need to be less human and more robot.
You are doing good, Alex.
I am a recruiter so I am essentially a LinkedIn troll. I can confirm that place is actual ick. To get a job on LinkedIn you must effectively UtiLize KeyWOrds. Job descriptions must equal Alex Dobrenko in reverse. That is my secret. We are not hiring copywriters at the moment; also I know you do not live in Texas. But maybe if you build it they will come/if you move here jobs will come??? They did for me. I hate LinkedIn--there is no room for the HAHAHAs!