Oh man! Just when I was riding high on all my successes, you hold up the mirror. Ok, fine! Here goes nothing:
--I vowed not to eat more than 1 gluten free cranberry pistachio biscotti yesterday. I ate 4. I failed!
--I had declared I would become more active by hopping on my walking pad during ALL Zoom calls. So far, I've only done it twice in a month. I failed!
--I'd said I wouldn't buy any more books until I finished reading what was already staring at me from our various book racks. Yesterday, I got Mary Oliver's Devotions. I failed!
These are just top of mind right now. I'm sure I can come up with a whole essay.
Ha! Guess what I'll be writing in BatCave tomorrow! Also, super dope that you made it free for tomorrow so more folks can experience the magical space it is.
And then, of course, there is the fact that I said I would write about all the things I failed at during the Batcave gathering today, but then I ended up doing art.
Love this. And such a huge thing to learn and internalize. On my best days I can laugh at them, especially when they are epic. Great job. I mean, my company failed last month and we disbanded it. So that’s one.
I tried to put my kids to bed early so I could have some time to myself, it's half an hour past when they would have gone to bed and everyone is still awake, and all of us have cried. I FAILED! 😂(😭)
Today I put on my to-do list that I would write this morning, but I didn't. The failure wasn't in not writing, but feeling guilty about not doing it. I am really trying hard at this time in my life not to make writing into a should. And it is now afternoon, write is again listed for after lunch, and instead I am reading this post and writing this comment. And I just threw up my arms and shouted I failed, and now I am going to go read instead of write and not feel guilty (of course also telling myself that I will make up for the no words written the past two days when I join the Batcave tomorrow.)
Excellent article, Alex, and so helpful for us all to hear. We’re human, we fail. But we’re not failures.
A new fave song of mine below has a lyric “where failure is a feature” and it’s been like an anti-mantra. “Trying to make a better mistake” is another goodie.
And I think it’s a great song (about long distance relationships)
Crazy!! Love this so much - I was telling the spouse recently “when you really think about it, there is no true failure, just learning. Shit your future self needs to know in order to move past the point where you are now. And current you had to find out. Shame makes it feel otherwise, and certainly it’s nice to avoid, but it’s all some kind of gold, bro.” Can’t wait to share the bow w him, it will help us when we screw up w each other! Which is often!!
My bow… I busted my 15 year old helping himself to Cash App deposits from my account without permission and screamed my head off even though he has a mood disorder and I know that I’m supposed to be stern and silent. I FAILED SO HARD!!
This happens almost daily with speaking English. Yesterday I said “more slow” to someone instead of “slower”. I failed!
I go through periods of taking Instagram off of my phone because it distracts me from work. I recently redownloaded it and set a 15-minute timer on it… and yet, most days I end up telling the timer to shove it and give me more time, hence, more distraction. I failed! Repeatedly.
Two years ago I told substack I was back and would be writing posts. I haven’t written a single post since that one. I failed!
I use the reminders app on my phone, and I set a reminder for me to call and make a doctor’s appointment at a new place because I moved and I can’t make the appointment online until I’m a patient there… that reminder was set 3 weeks ago and every day I move it to the next day instead of just calling and making the appointment. I failed! (Did I though? Who wants to talk on the phone anymore?!)
I just filled out postcards that I bought over a month ago when I was in the Outer Banks but never sent. I still haven’t sent them yet, so I failed but also I’m working on it, okay? Okay.
Failure now is pretty good—we played “loser ball” which sounds similar where somebody tosses you a ball and you have to dramatically fail to catch it and everybody claps for you.
Yeah when I taught English in China the students were so intense about not wanting to speak up and be wrong in class I actually made them play it at the beginning of every discussion class.
Oh man! Just when I was riding high on all my successes, you hold up the mirror. Ok, fine! Here goes nothing:
--I vowed not to eat more than 1 gluten free cranberry pistachio biscotti yesterday. I ate 4. I failed!
--I had declared I would become more active by hopping on my walking pad during ALL Zoom calls. So far, I've only done it twice in a month. I failed!
--I'd said I wouldn't buy any more books until I finished reading what was already staring at me from our various book racks. Yesterday, I got Mary Oliver's Devotions. I failed!
These are just top of mind right now. I'm sure I can come up with a whole essay.
Ha! Guess what I'll be writing in BatCave tomorrow! Also, super dope that you made it free for tomorrow so more folks can experience the magical space it is.
hahha i love these!! cya soon mansi :)
And then, of course, there is the fact that I said I would write about all the things I failed at during the Batcave gathering today, but then I ended up doing art.
I failed!!!! 🤦🏻♀️
I cannot WAIT to do this in full outlandish exaggeration with my kids
hahah honestly there's a whole nother essay in here about that WHICH I JUST MIGHT RIGHT WRITE RIGHT
Love this. And such a huge thing to learn and internalize. On my best days I can laugh at them, especially when they are epic. Great job. I mean, my company failed last month and we disbanded it. So that’s one.
clapping for ur failure bow
Even I am surprised Inhad one so big for you lol. Thanks!
Oh man, I'm sorry...
It’s actually fine. Failure is just burning off that which does not serve us, but thanks!
I tried to put my kids to bed early so I could have some time to myself, it's half an hour past when they would have gone to bed and everyone is still awake, and all of us have cried. I FAILED! 😂(😭)
hahahaha clapping for you
Today I put on my to-do list that I would write this morning, but I didn't. The failure wasn't in not writing, but feeling guilty about not doing it. I am really trying hard at this time in my life not to make writing into a should. And it is now afternoon, write is again listed for after lunch, and instead I am reading this post and writing this comment. And I just threw up my arms and shouted I failed, and now I am going to go read instead of write and not feel guilty (of course also telling myself that I will make up for the no words written the past two days when I join the Batcave tomorrow.)
this is the best
But you DID write. Lookie up there! 👍
Excellent article, Alex, and so helpful for us all to hear. We’re human, we fail. But we’re not failures.
A new fave song of mine below has a lyric “where failure is a feature” and it’s been like an anti-mantra. “Trying to make a better mistake” is another goodie.
And I think it’s a great song (about long distance relationships)
https://open.spotify.com/track/24AlaGqIZd2nUspgzc2ph1?si=jFuGjKcrTlmws0sWJjYujg&context=spotify%3Atrack%3A24AlaGqIZd2nUspgzc2ph1
https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAxJqPO8ZLs&si=9TlOrJgrGJ-txJ7_
oooh thank u John gonna listen to these
John, this song!! Such a hidden gem, I love it!!
Crazy!! Love this so much - I was telling the spouse recently “when you really think about it, there is no true failure, just learning. Shit your future self needs to know in order to move past the point where you are now. And current you had to find out. Shame makes it feel otherwise, and certainly it’s nice to avoid, but it’s all some kind of gold, bro.” Can’t wait to share the bow w him, it will help us when we screw up w each other! Which is often!!
My bow… I busted my 15 year old helping himself to Cash App deposits from my account without permission and screamed my head off even though he has a mood disorder and I know that I’m supposed to be stern and silent. I FAILED SO HARD!!
clapping for u
Ya nailed it‼️❤️
As for me…errr…I’m too uncomfortable to post a thing I failed at (of which there are plenty), so I failed!?
you nailed it
“It’s absurd, this celebration of failure, but not much more absurd than what I’d have done normally…” such a good point!
Also today I failed to make time to prep for the class I am planning to teach next Monday.
clapping for ur fail
The failure bow… I like it!
This happens almost daily with speaking English. Yesterday I said “more slow” to someone instead of “slower”. I failed!
I go through periods of taking Instagram off of my phone because it distracts me from work. I recently redownloaded it and set a 15-minute timer on it… and yet, most days I end up telling the timer to shove it and give me more time, hence, more distraction. I failed! Repeatedly.
Two years ago I told substack I was back and would be writing posts. I haven’t written a single post since that one. I failed!
I use the reminders app on my phone, and I set a reminder for me to call and make a doctor’s appointment at a new place because I moved and I can’t make the appointment online until I’m a patient there… that reminder was set 3 weeks ago and every day I move it to the next day instead of just calling and making the appointment. I failed! (Did I though? Who wants to talk on the phone anymore?!)
I just filled out postcards that I bought over a month ago when I was in the Outer Banks but never sent. I still haven’t sent them yet, so I failed but also I’m working on it, okay? Okay.
clapping for ur failures and also i think we are the same person
i have postcards and letters i wrote 12 years ago that i haven't sent yet
same goes for appts i need to make with doctors
Things I failed to do BEFORE our trip:
--mail hand-me-downs to a friend in Ohio (I failed!)
--hauled the broken/neglected outdoor kid toys to a dump (I failed!)
--lined up more Human/Parents interviews and Therapist Spotlight features for the summer (I failed!)
--figured out/updated my "About Me" and "Table of Contents" etc etc bc I still don't know what I'm really doing on this platform (I failed!)
--I was not calm and collected when unloading/unpacking the van when we arrived to our destination (I failed!)
--I have not had any of the conversations with the family I'm visiting that I'd hoped to have had--because I am scared to have them (I failed!)
--I've not written anything since our arrival (I failed!)
--I've not been very active at the BATCAVE lately (I failed!)
Whew! That felt good! Thanks, Alex!
hahahah hell yes i celebrate your failures!!!
fav one that i most deeply relate to -I was not calm and collected when unloading/unpacking the van when we arrived to our destination (I failed!)
Failure now is pretty good—we played “loser ball” which sounds similar where somebody tosses you a ball and you have to dramatically fail to catch it and everybody claps for you.
YES i just learned about this one
Yeah when I taught English in China the students were so intense about not wanting to speak up and be wrong in class I actually made them play it at the beginning of every discussion class.
Good to make that distinction!!!
I definitely will take a bow great great story 🙌
You’ve just floored me once again, Alex!
failure floor
Floorida
Just to let you know my failure I keep coming in and out of sub stack. When will I just go on and do it?
clapping for ur failure bow