Funny and painfully honest, that's Both are True! I am a fan, but I've got to be honest, I feel empathy for Laur. Please buy her some good quality chocolates and flowers and tell her I said so.
- from a fan who has been married since 1984 and had three kids spread out over 12 years just so we could be sure to never have time to ourselves for as long as possible!
Feb 4, 2023·edited Feb 15, 2023Liked by Alex Dobrenko`
I feel that last bit. My oldest were 7&9 when the youngest was born and every time I start thinking about how old he’ll be (10) when my oldest is in college i lose it a little.
I love this, Alex! And I really love the bucket concept. I'm going to steal the bucket and give buckets to everyone I know, and maybe they'll do the same, and then from there, everyone will have a bucket, and instead of overflowing with all of the triggering emotions, everyone on this planet will just think about the status of their bucket and do their best to self-regulate before the shit gets too real and you say / do something you can't unsay / undo. All that being said, I'm wondering if there's a way to drill a very small hole in the bottom of your bucket? Not so much that everyone that goes into the bucket falls onto the floor, but just enough so that the bucket drains without you even having to think about the bucket's status, or tip it over. Sure, there will be days when it rains and the hole won't be enough, but there will be other days, most days, I think, when the situation is mid or meh or not really vibing, and that bucket will begin to get full, but then there will be this tiny hole at the bottom, and the stuff will drain, so that even on those days where the little things normally would get you down, and sometimes send you crashing into the big things that can take you down, none of that happens and the bucket just feels kinda heavy, but it doesn't overflow. Is that feasible, or have I stretched this bucket metaphor too far?
see Michael THIS is why they call you the Leo DA Vinch of our time. Genius, for sure and also true! the buckets all have various mechanisms for releasing their water! some take a while, some are very fast and this is something you can work on improving but not entirely. Meaning, you cannot simply pour water out of the bucket and, if you try, that water will end up back in the bucket along with new water (this is simply water science stuff now.
I'm curious - what does Christine think about the buckets? Mostly i'm just curious to hear what Christine thinks about anything tbh
There is no end to it - parenting adults is a whole other thing, though they hardly ever sneeze in your face. I have no words of advice except this: it's best not to tell anyone else how to parent!
myq thank you my dear friend thank you. I owe you not only a letter but a missive. Soon. I came up with an idea for it that made it take more much more time but hey, that's comedy!
Incredible how familiar all of this is. Our bucket system is more like an emergency tap-out system. One of us will be dealing with our toddler going jelly-boned in the bathroom before bedtime, rolling his eyes and laughing like a psychotic nightmare clown, while the not-quite-walking-yet baby does her damnedest to get her hands into the toilet -- and that person sometimes just needs to walk straight out of that bathroom and tell the other one: "I need you to take over." The goal is to do that before you dislocate the toddler's shoulder.
What's amazing is how rare it is that BOTH of us feel like we have to tap out at the same time. Sure, it happens, and when it does someone probably ends up losing their temper and then there's got to be some damage control and so on. But it really doesn't happen as often as you're afraid it will when you venture into the agreement that whenever one of you needs to tap out, you get to tap out.
Looking back, I think the reason overlapping "full buckets" are so uncommon is because very often, when my wife says, "I need help," it triggers a flood of endorphins that make me feel like a hero, and I'm pretty sure the same thing happens to her when the roles are reversed. It's like, "I got you, babe. Check out this badass parenting judo."
Anyway. It sounds like you guys have a pretty fantastic thing going. Absolutely bring in another kid. Spread that wealth.
I forgot to mention: all the images are actual photographs (Canon Mark x5, 30/30 focal)
Funny and painfully honest, that's Both are True! I am a fan, but I've got to be honest, I feel empathy for Laur. Please buy her some good quality chocolates and flowers and tell her I said so.
- from a fan who has been married since 1984 and had three kids spread out over 12 years just so we could be sure to never have time to ourselves for as long as possible!
hahah oh man yes many chocolates for Laur yes. dang 3 kids over 12 years that's intense! do you have any tips please help
I feel that last bit. My oldest were 7&9 when the youngest was born and every time I start thinking about how old he’ll be (10) when my oldest is in college i lose it a little.
just vomited thinking through this thanks
Ok the illustrations are amazing.
i am selling them via sotheby's a popular auction outlet - please reach out if interestied
The bucket concept is a great one. And the illustrations? Primo!
thanks Michael !! good to hear from you man hope all is well in your worldly travels!
Your writing keeps getting better and better! Funny, insightful, raw, honest. So great!
wow Jillian thank you that means a whole lot coming from you!
I think that the ability to be so honest about a scenario like that is a rare and beautiful thing. Not weak! Strong!
thank you genuinely that means a lot
One of the best things I've read.
EVER.
🙌
dawwwwww thank you Rebecca!
holy fuck this is actually so good and i love the way you wrote it. more!!
hahahaha thank you! "actually so good
I love this, Alex! And I really love the bucket concept. I'm going to steal the bucket and give buckets to everyone I know, and maybe they'll do the same, and then from there, everyone will have a bucket, and instead of overflowing with all of the triggering emotions, everyone on this planet will just think about the status of their bucket and do their best to self-regulate before the shit gets too real and you say / do something you can't unsay / undo. All that being said, I'm wondering if there's a way to drill a very small hole in the bottom of your bucket? Not so much that everyone that goes into the bucket falls onto the floor, but just enough so that the bucket drains without you even having to think about the bucket's status, or tip it over. Sure, there will be days when it rains and the hole won't be enough, but there will be other days, most days, I think, when the situation is mid or meh or not really vibing, and that bucket will begin to get full, but then there will be this tiny hole at the bottom, and the stuff will drain, so that even on those days where the little things normally would get you down, and sometimes send you crashing into the big things that can take you down, none of that happens and the bucket just feels kinda heavy, but it doesn't overflow. Is that feasible, or have I stretched this bucket metaphor too far?
see Michael THIS is why they call you the Leo DA Vinch of our time. Genius, for sure and also true! the buckets all have various mechanisms for releasing their water! some take a while, some are very fast and this is something you can work on improving but not entirely. Meaning, you cannot simply pour water out of the bucket and, if you try, that water will end up back in the bucket along with new water (this is simply water science stuff now.
I'm curious - what does Christine think about the buckets? Mostly i'm just curious to hear what Christine thinks about anything tbh
I was cracking up and even though I don’t have kids--can resonate. Keep it up!!!
thank you Heather!
Something about your awesome sketches remind me of “Hyperbole and a Half” which I used to read many moons ago.
dang that's so nice !!1 i love hyperbole and a half so much
I had the same thought! And Wait But Why too.
ahhhhh ok wait but why is the best so you saying this is too much i am gonna vom
Wait But Don't!
There is no end to it - parenting adults is a whole other thing, though they hardly ever sneeze in your face. I have no words of advice except this: it's best not to tell anyone else how to parent!
hahahaha agreeed
dear alex,
i love you and this.
specific beloved things include:
-- I’ll chill in our bedroom, meditate so fucking hard, and I’ll reach Nirvana by nightfall
-- how a violinist’s performance sounds beautiful to everyone except the violinist
-- I’m late, I’m late, for a very important Retrate
-- “I can’t, because having two with someone else would mean three in total, and that’s too many.”
-- and much much more!
you are a beautiful violinist!
love,
myq
myq thank you my dear friend thank you. I owe you not only a letter but a missive. Soon. I came up with an idea for it that made it take more much more time but hey, that's comedy!
love and thanks, friend!
Incredible how familiar all of this is. Our bucket system is more like an emergency tap-out system. One of us will be dealing with our toddler going jelly-boned in the bathroom before bedtime, rolling his eyes and laughing like a psychotic nightmare clown, while the not-quite-walking-yet baby does her damnedest to get her hands into the toilet -- and that person sometimes just needs to walk straight out of that bathroom and tell the other one: "I need you to take over." The goal is to do that before you dislocate the toddler's shoulder.
What's amazing is how rare it is that BOTH of us feel like we have to tap out at the same time. Sure, it happens, and when it does someone probably ends up losing their temper and then there's got to be some damage control and so on. But it really doesn't happen as often as you're afraid it will when you venture into the agreement that whenever one of you needs to tap out, you get to tap out.
Looking back, I think the reason overlapping "full buckets" are so uncommon is because very often, when my wife says, "I need help," it triggers a flood of endorphins that make me feel like a hero, and I'm pretty sure the same thing happens to her when the roles are reversed. It's like, "I got you, babe. Check out this badass parenting judo."
Anyway. It sounds like you guys have a pretty fantastic thing going. Absolutely bring in another kid. Spread that wealth.
you took the words out me mouth about why its rare for both to happen at once. Thanks for the 2nd kid confidence man, genuinely. Here's hoping
“To which I respond, ever the peacemaker, ‘yeah well then maybe you should have a 2nd kid with someone else, cuz this is who I am.’”
This made me laugh so hard on the subway just now.
hahahaah thank you Anne!! i feel like you always laugh at my favorite lines ♥
My bucket is full is an opposite of my cup is not full...
oh my god you figured it out