BK1 has it all - stray thoughts about fatherhood, quotes also about fatherhood, podcast recs, and absolutely incredible photos of old computer advertisements from the 80s for Atari and microsoft Excel
Yes, we were on the same path. I feel better having made a decision finally. You probably couldn't like the page as I sent it as an email as opposed to a post. I actually learned how to send an email AND delete my old drafts, woohoo! I hate technology. I'm off to read your post from this morning. Have a great day!
-- "I hate uncertainty. Always have, always will. Well…maybe not always?"
-- "Her request was without any shadow of a doubt a sign that she was in love with me" (RELATABLE CONTENT)
-- "I lifted weights for a long time, most of which was also spent crying" (ADORABLE CONTENT)
-- "I was not allowed to text any girls without first getting the written approval of TWO separate friends." (HILARIOUS CONTENT)
-- "it wins every year"
-- "Married with child, like the Alfred Bundy show." (DELIGHTFUL CONTENT)
-- "Keeping all posts free gives readers like me the space / time to fall in love at my own pace." (THIS IS GREAT!)
-- that pema! the opposite of poison!
-- "I am thinking of getting a tattoo of an egg to celebrate this specific period in his life because he is obsessed with eggs and says ‘eg’ all the time." (I LOVE THIS AND ALSO WONDER HOW DO YOU KNOW HE'S SAYING IT WITH ONLY ONE G?)
-- "Ya know where the grass is definitely actually always greener? Outside." (FUN CONTENT)
Alex, you provide consistently the stuff that makes me go whoa.
The copy on those ads, copy from a pre-minimalist era is fascinating, now all the words got diverted into blog posts and media chyrons.) Julio Torres quote is spot on , a whole Groucho Marx thing, we wouldn't want to create work that would be affiliated with something that would have it.
(tangent 1: Oh god, his middle name was "Staples". Does the "C" in Brad's name stand for "Costco", I knew it. tangent 2: ok, cost is clear, you're alone in the room now, what was "Amanda's" name, and what was the real backstory?
duuuude thank you. I honestly at one point wanted to call the backyard kickback "stuff that makes me go whoa" lol. Maybe I will !!
yes the groucho marx joke!! I know it from Annie Hall which regretably comes from dickbag supreme Woody Allen (I used to love him but I can no longer knowing what I know).... but you bringing it up made me look up the joke and WHOA there's a deep dive into it here - http://www.16-9.dk/2007-02/side11_inenglish.htm including two stories from where the joke originates from, one from Groucho Marx's son and the other from Groucho himself. Honestly I just finished it and it was TOO DEEP of a dive lol,
but I did appreciate this quote from a book about jewish wit:
Every day in a coffee house, two Jews sit and play cards. One day they quarrel and Moritz furiously shouts at his friend: "What kind of a guy can you be if you sit down every evening playing cards with a fellow who sits down to play cards with a guy like you!" (Reik, 1962: 57-8)
ok ok now that i've rambled enough to get all the idiots to click away, yes I will tell you the story., Her name was nicole and I really liked her. she was way out of my league like she was what the kids used to call HOTT but we were becoming sorta close and maybe flirting maybe just becoming good friends
she invited me to come hang at the mcdonalds and I was like holy shit THIS IS IT HERE WE GO but then it was more like HOLY SHIT THIS IS NOT IT HERE WE DO NOT GO. she was in a car with a bunch of people who were all the cool kids and I felt like a dope and idiot and I think honestly just left and cried a lot on my way home and while lifting weights at home. So mostly its the real story just with a different name.
man, that's a story, the whole thing, down to lifting weights back at home base. For all we know, she was "man, I have to hang with my friends, etc., etc., the stuff of 2 kids who passed in the night (before curfew).)
I loved your realisation. You crystallised the essence of what every web designer who inserts the pop up dialogue box on a sites splash page, asking you to give up your email address - so they can send you marketing shit - does not understand. If you want to have a relationship with me, you have to give me something first or at least let me browse for a while. And no twenty dollars off my first purchase does not entitle you to my precious email address which I have only just managed to unsubscribe, report as spam, or consistently ignored even if the offer was genuine, because the spammers out there will try any and all ways to glean my information for nefarious purposes.
I am a reader of random stuff with the appetite of a heroin addict. If I could afford to subscribe to everyone I read I would, but I can’t. It took me 5 years of Wikipedia pleading poverty before I sent my once only payment of $5 feeling guilty because I read articles there every day. Same again with The Guardian and The Conversation it was a couple of years of free reading before I took out the monthly subscription, because I thought they deserved to get paid for not thrusting advertising under my view between every line of text, making the article so hard to read, I would just click off.
I used to work in Newspaper advertising and was constantly dismayed at the “Grab money now!” attitude with no planning or foresight for the future, no care for the advertiser’s needs, just flog this one page ad for tomorrow’s paper to any mug that would buy it. Needless to say that lack of foresight has resulted in the less than ideal situation of sensational headlines and click bait. All because the media gurus failed to grab the opportunity of advertising to people that were looking to buy on sites like eBay with the opening up of the internet.
I digress. I have only recently discovered your writing. So far so good. If I continue to open every email and read your stuff and become enamoured with your views then I may consider dropping one of my other subscriptions and invest. You are right! It is just like dating, find out what quirks impress or annoy and continue -or not - from a place of knowledge. All the best for the future
Ha thank you Aida, I love everything about this. I am reading this article about non-coercive marketing which outlines a lot of the same problems as you with the normal way of marketing which is coercive - it says SIGN UP OR ELSE.
Whereas non-coercive marketing is more like 'hey its cool if ya do but its cool if ya don't.'
My mind often goes into the FOMO fear of missing out place of AHH I GOTTA TRY TO CATCH PEOPLE when they come anywhere near Both Are True by whatever means necessary. But as you write, people can sense that desperation and, much like in dating, they want nothing to do with it.
And heck ya, I am glad you discovered the writing and are digging it so far!! And if that ends with you wanting to subscribe - awesome, but if not because you realize I'm a major stinkface or because you simply have too many other subscriptions OR ANY OTHER REASON AT ALL or also no reason at all, that's great too. Life's too short to quibble and beg, both here in the world of writing as in the world of love.
Here's the definition for non coercive marketing and the link below too in case you're curious.
--
Non-coercive marketing places full authority and trust in people. It creates the conditions under which they can make empowered decisions for themselves, and do so in their own time. It doesn't seek to persuade, manipulate, or pester people into a decision that's already been made for them. It merely opens new doors, tells the truth about what's behind those doors, then surrenders the outcome, trusting that the right people will step through when they're ready. In that way, non-coercive marketing is a leap of faith, rooted in the idea that if you stop trying to control people, and encourage them to be their own authority, you can build positive sum relationships that lead to organic and mutually-enriching transactions. This relational shift is also at the heart of how we begin healing the emotional wounds lying beneath humanity's many problems.
Love everything about this post. First, your decision. Second, little Fraidy, oh my God, too funny and cute. I appreciated the posts you shared from other Substackers about being patient, helpful for me to read those as well having just made the same decision as you. BTW I sent out an email about that decision that ended up in some people's spam folder so if you didn't get it, check your spam. And lastly I love the story about your son. It's been 32 years and I can still remember the sensations like it was yesterday. My son was very active. If I ever wanted to rope him in, all I had to do was lay down on the ground, face down. He would run over and lay on top of me like clockwork. Funniest thing. Both of my adult kids are still crazy affectionate. Lucky. mom! Enjoy, and congrats on making your decision. 💟
ahhh you are so lucky about your kids still being affectionate, that's awesome. And thank you about the decision! And yea, I just found the email - the housekeeping one, yes? I feel like I went on literally the same exact thought process as you haha.
I tried to hit 'like' on it but it said page not found though??
Well, whoaaa, do you know how uncommon it is to have a young person ask me anything techy? Like, it NEVER happens. I'm so proud of myself right now. So, you go into your subscriber list and select who you want the email to go to. Once you've selected even one person, a purple email box will appear in the right corner above the subscriber list and that allows us to email. It's a nice tool for emailing selected readers who seem to be very engaged with your newsletter and asking them if they'd consider subscribing. That way we aren't hitting up everyone all the time, and narrowing in on those who might be most interested and on the brink of upgrading. Or if we want to just send an email to all of our paid subscribers that we will be collecting soon, to thank them, we can narrow the email to our paid list. I think it's a nice option that you might consider once you are done with your six months restriction, lol. I'm in the same boat as you, I think for a while I just write and hope to get paid subscribers without talking about it. But six months, three months, who's counting?
You should sell “ Would it be okay if I maybe kissed you?” to Taylor swift
where do u think she got it from
ur a mastermind
WE LOVE FR*IDY
monster he is but still what can we do but love him
“And I’m a monster on the hill” ALSO a Taylor lyric
Love being here w you all!
dittooooooo
Wow, you have a great voice. Thank you for sharing it with everyone.
aw wow thank you so much Lynn :)
Yes, we were on the same path. I feel better having made a decision finally. You probably couldn't like the page as I sent it as an email as opposed to a post. I actually learned how to send an email AND delete my old drafts, woohoo! I hate technology. I'm off to read your post from this morning. Have a great day!
whoaaa wait that is cool how do you JUST send an email vs a post???
love!
specific things i love:
-- "I hate uncertainty. Always have, always will. Well…maybe not always?"
-- "Her request was without any shadow of a doubt a sign that she was in love with me" (RELATABLE CONTENT)
-- "I lifted weights for a long time, most of which was also spent crying" (ADORABLE CONTENT)
-- "I was not allowed to text any girls without first getting the written approval of TWO separate friends." (HILARIOUS CONTENT)
-- "it wins every year"
-- "Married with child, like the Alfred Bundy show." (DELIGHTFUL CONTENT)
-- "Keeping all posts free gives readers like me the space / time to fall in love at my own pace." (THIS IS GREAT!)
-- that pema! the opposite of poison!
-- "I am thinking of getting a tattoo of an egg to celebrate this specific period in his life because he is obsessed with eggs and says ‘eg’ all the time." (I LOVE THIS AND ALSO WONDER HOW DO YOU KNOW HE'S SAYING IT WITH ONLY ONE G?)
-- "Ya know where the grass is definitely actually always greener? Outside." (FUN CONTENT)
you've done it again and i thank you!
MYQ THANK YOU ALWAYS AS NOW FOR THIS
i know he's saying eg cuz he says eg. if he said egg I'd know he said egg.
to put it more complicatedly: he doesn't go hard on the g. its a quick g, like if u said beg but without the b
honestly the word egg should just always be spelled eg
i like that there can be two ways to spell this word.
e.g. eg & egg
you sick son of a bitch
spare me your SSOB story
Alex, you provide consistently the stuff that makes me go whoa.
The copy on those ads, copy from a pre-minimalist era is fascinating, now all the words got diverted into blog posts and media chyrons.) Julio Torres quote is spot on , a whole Groucho Marx thing, we wouldn't want to create work that would be affiliated with something that would have it.
(tangent 1: Oh god, his middle name was "Staples". Does the "C" in Brad's name stand for "Costco", I knew it. tangent 2: ok, cost is clear, you're alone in the room now, what was "Amanda's" name, and what was the real backstory?
duuuude thank you. I honestly at one point wanted to call the backyard kickback "stuff that makes me go whoa" lol. Maybe I will !!
yes the groucho marx joke!! I know it from Annie Hall which regretably comes from dickbag supreme Woody Allen (I used to love him but I can no longer knowing what I know).... but you bringing it up made me look up the joke and WHOA there's a deep dive into it here - http://www.16-9.dk/2007-02/side11_inenglish.htm including two stories from where the joke originates from, one from Groucho Marx's son and the other from Groucho himself. Honestly I just finished it and it was TOO DEEP of a dive lol,
but I did appreciate this quote from a book about jewish wit:
Every day in a coffee house, two Jews sit and play cards. One day they quarrel and Moritz furiously shouts at his friend: "What kind of a guy can you be if you sit down every evening playing cards with a fellow who sits down to play cards with a guy like you!" (Reik, 1962: 57-8)
ok ok now that i've rambled enough to get all the idiots to click away, yes I will tell you the story., Her name was nicole and I really liked her. she was way out of my league like she was what the kids used to call HOTT but we were becoming sorta close and maybe flirting maybe just becoming good friends
she invited me to come hang at the mcdonalds and I was like holy shit THIS IS IT HERE WE GO but then it was more like HOLY SHIT THIS IS NOT IT HERE WE DO NOT GO. she was in a car with a bunch of people who were all the cool kids and I felt like a dope and idiot and I think honestly just left and cried a lot on my way home and while lifting weights at home. So mostly its the real story just with a different name.
that groucho joke heheheheheh,
man, that's a story, the whole thing, down to lifting weights back at home base. For all we know, she was "man, I have to hang with my friends, etc., etc., the stuff of 2 kids who passed in the night (before curfew).)
hahahah 100%
also idk if you clicked the link about the groucho joke but there's a bit about this book called Jewish Wit which I have indeed purchased and started reading and its awesome. will def be writing about it soon https://www.amazon.com/Jewish-Wit-Theodor-Reik-ebook/dp/B087J9YSN6/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
I loved your realisation. You crystallised the essence of what every web designer who inserts the pop up dialogue box on a sites splash page, asking you to give up your email address - so they can send you marketing shit - does not understand. If you want to have a relationship with me, you have to give me something first or at least let me browse for a while. And no twenty dollars off my first purchase does not entitle you to my precious email address which I have only just managed to unsubscribe, report as spam, or consistently ignored even if the offer was genuine, because the spammers out there will try any and all ways to glean my information for nefarious purposes.
I am a reader of random stuff with the appetite of a heroin addict. If I could afford to subscribe to everyone I read I would, but I can’t. It took me 5 years of Wikipedia pleading poverty before I sent my once only payment of $5 feeling guilty because I read articles there every day. Same again with The Guardian and The Conversation it was a couple of years of free reading before I took out the monthly subscription, because I thought they deserved to get paid for not thrusting advertising under my view between every line of text, making the article so hard to read, I would just click off.
I used to work in Newspaper advertising and was constantly dismayed at the “Grab money now!” attitude with no planning or foresight for the future, no care for the advertiser’s needs, just flog this one page ad for tomorrow’s paper to any mug that would buy it. Needless to say that lack of foresight has resulted in the less than ideal situation of sensational headlines and click bait. All because the media gurus failed to grab the opportunity of advertising to people that were looking to buy on sites like eBay with the opening up of the internet.
I digress. I have only recently discovered your writing. So far so good. If I continue to open every email and read your stuff and become enamoured with your views then I may consider dropping one of my other subscriptions and invest. You are right! It is just like dating, find out what quirks impress or annoy and continue -or not - from a place of knowledge. All the best for the future
Ha thank you Aida, I love everything about this. I am reading this article about non-coercive marketing which outlines a lot of the same problems as you with the normal way of marketing which is coercive - it says SIGN UP OR ELSE.
Whereas non-coercive marketing is more like 'hey its cool if ya do but its cool if ya don't.'
My mind often goes into the FOMO fear of missing out place of AHH I GOTTA TRY TO CATCH PEOPLE when they come anywhere near Both Are True by whatever means necessary. But as you write, people can sense that desperation and, much like in dating, they want nothing to do with it.
And heck ya, I am glad you discovered the writing and are digging it so far!! And if that ends with you wanting to subscribe - awesome, but if not because you realize I'm a major stinkface or because you simply have too many other subscriptions OR ANY OTHER REASON AT ALL or also no reason at all, that's great too. Life's too short to quibble and beg, both here in the world of writing as in the world of love.
Here's the definition for non coercive marketing and the link below too in case you're curious.
--
Non-coercive marketing places full authority and trust in people. It creates the conditions under which they can make empowered decisions for themselves, and do so in their own time. It doesn't seek to persuade, manipulate, or pester people into a decision that's already been made for them. It merely opens new doors, tells the truth about what's behind those doors, then surrenders the outcome, trusting that the right people will step through when they're ready. In that way, non-coercive marketing is a leap of faith, rooted in the idea that if you stop trying to control people, and encourage them to be their own authority, you can build positive sum relationships that lead to organic and mutually-enriching transactions. This relational shift is also at the heart of how we begin healing the emotional wounds lying beneath humanity's many problems.
https://ungated.media/article/non-coercive-marketing-primer
Love everything about this post. First, your decision. Second, little Fraidy, oh my God, too funny and cute. I appreciated the posts you shared from other Substackers about being patient, helpful for me to read those as well having just made the same decision as you. BTW I sent out an email about that decision that ended up in some people's spam folder so if you didn't get it, check your spam. And lastly I love the story about your son. It's been 32 years and I can still remember the sensations like it was yesterday. My son was very active. If I ever wanted to rope him in, all I had to do was lay down on the ground, face down. He would run over and lay on top of me like clockwork. Funniest thing. Both of my adult kids are still crazy affectionate. Lucky. mom! Enjoy, and congrats on making your decision. 💟
ahhh you are so lucky about your kids still being affectionate, that's awesome. And thank you about the decision! And yea, I just found the email - the housekeeping one, yes? I feel like I went on literally the same exact thought process as you haha.
I tried to hit 'like' on it but it said page not found though??
-"Alas she was super stoned and drunk and also with another guy." hahaha!
-"Clive Staples Lewis" WHA? Is he also a bebop sax player?
-Love those old ads too. The Soul of Genius, indeed.
hahahah thanks Anne
Loved this one hahaha
thanks!
I liked this. And those Excel ads... I'm trying to picture the team who created that copy and it must have been toasted tobacco, all over again.
hahah i heard someone say that the single greatest invention maybe ever was the spreadsheet. thoughts?
Top 10 for sure.
Well, whoaaa, do you know how uncommon it is to have a young person ask me anything techy? Like, it NEVER happens. I'm so proud of myself right now. So, you go into your subscriber list and select who you want the email to go to. Once you've selected even one person, a purple email box will appear in the right corner above the subscriber list and that allows us to email. It's a nice tool for emailing selected readers who seem to be very engaged with your newsletter and asking them if they'd consider subscribing. That way we aren't hitting up everyone all the time, and narrowing in on those who might be most interested and on the brink of upgrading. Or if we want to just send an email to all of our paid subscribers that we will be collecting soon, to thank them, we can narrow the email to our paid list. I think it's a nice option that you might consider once you are done with your six months restriction, lol. I'm in the same boat as you, I think for a while I just write and hope to get paid subscribers without talking about it. But six months, three months, who's counting?
Do you know how to email someone who is a Substack writer?
ok wait I am dumb and do not understand this what essay are you requesting I will write it I am a madman