Can I confess something? I've never once heard of Five Little Ducklings. But I DID grow up with Five Little Monkeys, in which all five monkey children get concussions from jumping off the bed with little to no meaningful adult intervention. Which is also horrifying and worthy of possible investigation.
As an early childhood educator, the answer is many of those songs are a mess. My first years teaching I used a curriculum that explicitly called for singing these songs as "fingerplays" (where there are corresponding motions with your hands) as a way to gain kids attention. They were wildly effective in that purpose, however you needed a pretty big list so kids didn't get bored. One that was given to me as a first year teacher that I didn't consider its meaning until at least 6 months into the year went like this:
Ring Around the Rosie is about the goddamn PLAGUE! Humans are the worst. Alien overlords, anytime you want to swoop in. We are basically a fire sale species.
I’m quacking up here! As a grandpa, I have been puzzled by the 5 Little Ducks for many years. I filed it away in the Cold (Duck) Case file, but now that you’ve laid out the mystery so clearly, it bears reexamination. Bears? Oh, no!
“Abduckted” was a stroke of genius. You clever little rascal.
Since becoming a father I’ve learned that a lot of nursery rhymes and children’s books are quite fucked up. Ring around the Rosie is a fucking horror plot where EVERYBODY DIES
Also u ever read tikki tikki tembo? That shit is racist as fuck and teaches kids to mock long unfamiliar sounding names until they shorten them or else they will DIE IN A WELL
Not a nursery rhyme or murder, but if you want to depress the hell out of yourself, listen to the lyrics of Puff the Magic Dragon.
In summary, Puff and Jackie Paper were BFFs, so much fun together frolicking, sailing, just generally enjoying and valuing their friendship. Then Jackie grows up. It happens little by little. Time between visits increases, the length of each visit decreases. They do less frolicking and more just awkwardly hanging out. Until one day Jackie visits for the last time...except Puff didn't know it was the last time. It's like how they say one day you'll pick your child up for the last time but you won't know it's the last time.
When Puff finally accepted that realization...well, I'll let the song/poem speak for itself:
One gray night it happened, Jackie Paper came no more
And Puff, that mighty dragon, he ceased his fearless roar
His head was bent in sorrow, green scales fell like rain
Puff no longer went to play along the cherry lane
Without his lifelong friend, Puff could not be brave
So Puff, that mighty dragon, sadly slipped into his cave
No one is really affected by 5 Little Ducks in our house, but my daughter did weep for quite a bit of time when she first heard that the three little kittens who lost their mittens couldn't have their pie. It did not help to skip to the part where they got the pie.
I'm really glad you took on this important topic that has long been on all of our minds (as evidenced by the comments here.) I listen to this song regularly (Raffi version), and I mean REGULARLY given that one of my son's first words was "duck." And yet. One really has to try hard not to think too much about it.
Another duck one that is less scary but also could use a Dobrenkonalysis is Six Little Ducks. (Six little ducks that I once knew / Fat ones, skinny ones, fair ones too / But the one little duck with the feather on his back / He led the others with a quack quack quack.)
Um, Hm?
Also has anyone mentioned Humpty Dumpty yet? My God.
My god when I used to hear Raffi belting out this tune on cassette tape in my mom's car I always thought to myself, "Man, Raffi's angelic voice could even make a multiple homicide case sound pleasant" but I never actually thought he was singing about anything more than just some ducks getting lost, or some Ipples and Bininis!!! (See the standout track "Apples and Bananas" off Raffi's One Light One Sun, 1985) Now that I know he was covering a tale of such anguish, such trauma, such despair, I may have to go back and investigate the deeper meanings behind some of his other tunes. Eeeples and...beeneenees...BEE'S-KNEES-KNEES! Was there some sort of sexual undercurrent to this unassuming jam about fruit and vowel sounds???
ducktective!! omg. Also Pattern School. And grief takes a lifetime, lord knows. Lol. My kids like a book called The Little Lamb (or something) about this girl who raises a baby lamb and then had to give it back to the farm. And every time I used to read it, the first ten times, I fucking bawled when that lamb had to go back. (And no, it wasn’t a metaphor for “the dog going to live on the farm” although now that I think of it, maybe that lamb IS going back to become lamb meat and my subconscious knew it all along! Hence tears) 🐑 💦
But ironically, we did have a dog that went to live on a farm..... really.... (thankfully I was able to visit him from time to time so there was no terrible pretend farms there.
I think I need to read this Little Lamb book before I make any other statements..
Can I confess something? I've never once heard of Five Little Ducklings. But I DID grow up with Five Little Monkeys, in which all five monkey children get concussions from jumping off the bed with little to no meaningful adult intervention. Which is also horrifying and worthy of possible investigation.
Looks like I’ve got my next case
As an early childhood educator, the answer is many of those songs are a mess. My first years teaching I used a curriculum that explicitly called for singing these songs as "fingerplays" (where there are corresponding motions with your hands) as a way to gain kids attention. They were wildly effective in that purpose, however you needed a pretty big list so kids didn't get bored. One that was given to me as a first year teacher that I didn't consider its meaning until at least 6 months into the year went like this:
A peanut sat on a railroad track
His heart was all aflutter
When around the bend came train number 10
Uh Oh Peanut Butter
Hahahahahah wow. Dude that’s wild. Do you remember any others that were particularly weird
Oh! I remember one my first grade music teacher taught us:
Piggy on the railroad
Picking up tacks
Along came a freight train
And broke piggy’s back
Poor Piggy!
Poor Piggy!
Engine doesn’t care
Engine doesn’t care
Hand. To. Freaking. GAWWWD!
Ring Around the Rosie is about the goddamn PLAGUE! Humans are the worst. Alien overlords, anytime you want to swoop in. We are basically a fire sale species.
Wait what seriously???
100% a rosy rash was a plague symptom; posies of herbs were carried for supposed “protection.” Big Squid Game energy here
christ on a
I know. This is why I ain’t worried about AI.
I’m quacking up here! As a grandpa, I have been puzzled by the 5 Little Ducks for many years. I filed it away in the Cold (Duck) Case file, but now that you’ve laid out the mystery so clearly, it bears reexamination. Bears? Oh, no!
That's another scary one!! And what about Little Red Riding Hood?! Did grannie really get mauled by that wolf??
Which makes me think about Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer.... was Grandma killed, seriously injured with memory loss??
So many questions!!
RIP grannies
Hahahah
“Abduckted” was a stroke of genius. You clever little rascal.
Since becoming a father I’ve learned that a lot of nursery rhymes and children’s books are quite fucked up. Ring around the Rosie is a fucking horror plot where EVERYBODY DIES
Also u ever read tikki tikki tembo? That shit is racist as fuck and teaches kids to mock long unfamiliar sounding names until they shorten them or else they will DIE IN A WELL
Christ on a cracker this is bad
Not a nursery rhyme or murder, but if you want to depress the hell out of yourself, listen to the lyrics of Puff the Magic Dragon.
In summary, Puff and Jackie Paper were BFFs, so much fun together frolicking, sailing, just generally enjoying and valuing their friendship. Then Jackie grows up. It happens little by little. Time between visits increases, the length of each visit decreases. They do less frolicking and more just awkwardly hanging out. Until one day Jackie visits for the last time...except Puff didn't know it was the last time. It's like how they say one day you'll pick your child up for the last time but you won't know it's the last time.
When Puff finally accepted that realization...well, I'll let the song/poem speak for itself:
One gray night it happened, Jackie Paper came no more
And Puff, that mighty dragon, he ceased his fearless roar
His head was bent in sorrow, green scales fell like rain
Puff no longer went to play along the cherry lane
Without his lifelong friend, Puff could not be brave
So Puff, that mighty dragon, sadly slipped into his cave
How are you feeling now? :(
Listening to this song as an adult absolutely RUINED my life.
Wait what in the hell?!?! All I knew about this song was that people thought it was about weed. Is that just a cover story for the darkness beneath ??
No one is really affected by 5 Little Ducks in our house, but my daughter did weep for quite a bit of time when she first heard that the three little kittens who lost their mittens couldn't have their pie. It did not help to skip to the part where they got the pie.
dang but wait why couldnt they eat pie without their mittens feels like a non issue w/r/t pie
This was incredible, maybe one of my favorite substack posts ever, and I am enjoying all the comments as well. Humans are really such an odd lot.
ahahaha omg thank you!!
I'm really glad you took on this important topic that has long been on all of our minds (as evidenced by the comments here.) I listen to this song regularly (Raffi version), and I mean REGULARLY given that one of my son's first words was "duck." And yet. One really has to try hard not to think too much about it.
Another duck one that is less scary but also could use a Dobrenkonalysis is Six Little Ducks. (Six little ducks that I once knew / Fat ones, skinny ones, fair ones too / But the one little duck with the feather on his back / He led the others with a quack quack quack.)
Um, Hm?
Also has anyone mentioned Humpty Dumpty yet? My God.
humpty dumpty!! that shit is insane and weird and must be dug into post haste.
its weird how many duck stories there are. there's just so much mystery afoot
My god when I used to hear Raffi belting out this tune on cassette tape in my mom's car I always thought to myself, "Man, Raffi's angelic voice could even make a multiple homicide case sound pleasant" but I never actually thought he was singing about anything more than just some ducks getting lost, or some Ipples and Bininis!!! (See the standout track "Apples and Bananas" off Raffi's One Light One Sun, 1985) Now that I know he was covering a tale of such anguish, such trauma, such despair, I may have to go back and investigate the deeper meanings behind some of his other tunes. Eeeples and...beeneenees...BEE'S-KNEES-KNEES! Was there some sort of sexual undercurrent to this unassuming jam about fruit and vowel sounds???
raffi was a sex freak and everyone (in the music industry) knows it
ducktective!! omg. Also Pattern School. And grief takes a lifetime, lord knows. Lol. My kids like a book called The Little Lamb (or something) about this girl who raises a baby lamb and then had to give it back to the farm. And every time I used to read it, the first ten times, I fucking bawled when that lamb had to go back. (And no, it wasn’t a metaphor for “the dog going to live on the farm” although now that I think of it, maybe that lamb IS going back to become lamb meat and my subconscious knew it all along! Hence tears) 🐑 💦
hahaha
You're bringing up so many traumas here!
But ironically, we did have a dog that went to live on a farm..... really.... (thankfully I was able to visit him from time to time so there was no terrible pretend farms there.
I think I need to read this Little Lamb book before I make any other statements..
Ah!! Wonderful that farm was not metaphorical but a loving loving place for your friend. Hurray. 🐶
“Getting your ducks in a row” always did seem a bit sinister.
right
LMAO. The deconstruction of a nursery rhyme. Loved this. I remember this, but never considered the psychological side of things. LOL
happy to have helped
Nursery rhymes have creepy histories. Here’s a great article that explains where they came from. https://www.ranker.com/list/creepy-nursery-rhymes/christopher-shultz
omg what the hell is going on with rock a bye baby
"Rock-a-bye baby, on the treetop,
When the wind blows, the cradle will rock,
When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall,
And down will come baby, cradle and all."
Right?
“Horses?” 😂😂😂
Laughing my motherducking ass off