be my (tired, aging) valentine?
candy hearts for the over-30 crowd
I wanted Lauren’s birthday to be special. It was one of the mid-30s ones + we’d just had our son, so I wanted to express my love with a grand gesture in front of her and all our friends.
So I bought a piñata.
Blindfolded, our friends and I took turns whacking the thing. Finally, Lauren gave it a few good thwaps and blam, goodies rained down from above. Everyone scurried to the grassy dirt of our backyard to find their favorite candy but, what's this? There was no candy.
"Chapstick?"
"Is this a cough drop?"
"Athlete’s foot cream??”
The Middle Aged Piñata was a certified hit.
"There's no candy; it's all middle-aged stuff!" I screamed, way too excited.
Then everyone stood in shock for about half a second before turning rabid and grabbing all of the “candy” from the ground.
"Tide pens?"
"What's this?" Quinn asked, holding up a loose packet of Sleepytime tea.
In the video you can hear my voice saying, again and again, “scurry around and grab your treats!” It’s haunting.
But grab they did: nail polish remover, pens, chapstick, little moleskine notebooks, pens (for the notebooks), spatulas, pill cutters and everything else your favorite aunt had in her purse.
Valentine’s “Day”
Piñatas for Adults was a hit because Big Holiday is grossly underserving the over-30 crowd.
Why not have parent-focused treats for Halloween? Here ya go little Timmy, a sweet tart for you dressed up all nice like a dinosaur, and for your dad who is - what are you? ah, a white collar worker very funny Brad, that’s good stuff, for you, a nice pad of post-it notes and refrigerator magnets!
Valentine’s Day is a mess too. Take Candy Hearts - the lil soap-tasting candies with vapid messages like “XOXO” and “CUTIE PIE” on them. Maybe that works when you’re nine years old, but “BE MINE” isn’t really gonna cut it for your wife of ten years with whom you share a rent and child, is it?
The 30+ crowd needs our own Valentine’s.
Valentine's day Candy hearts for the rest of us
notes:
if you want to send these to your friends on the popular website instagram, you can ‘make a story’ with them from my posts here and here
the lack of uniformity in the designs is a choice. it’s aesthetics and it’s art you dumbo
Comments
which are your favs?
got any messages to add? I’ll make the best ones into candy hearts (the process takes forever its so hard cuz i’m a huge good designer)
at what age do you consider middle age to start?
do you want to invest in Piñatas for Adults? Could be a hit
"I'll put in the DoorDash order"
gonna send the therapist one to my hubsand ASAP the best part is that his therapist is my therapist is our couple's therapy therapist