29 Comments

3. hi lauren!!!!

8. we gotta ban SELF-CHECKOUT

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Two things that are getting me through hair loss:

1) Bruce Willis: "hair loss is God's way of telling me I'm human."

2) advice from a personal coach : "the reality that you are creating isn't real. No one gives a shit about your head because they're too focused on how they are perceived be others. Picture the man you want to be and show up as him today."

Shaving my head for the first time last year had me bawling like a baby while I did it. But, when I was done, it felt very liberating. Kind of like I owned the situation. Hair loss sucks. But maybe it doesn't suck as much as we let it.

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Mystery of clown. Trying to be a clown when I’m onstage and not sure what that is & if I’m doing it !!!!

I genuinely laughed out loud reading this. Also the IFS part was dope.

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KAYLAAAA hi omg hi hi thank uuuuu

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Nice to revisit your writing. Glad to see your recent new home is beginning to recover. The star of the show today is Lauren as she gave you a cut two standard deviations beyond the norm and sufficient so no one notices your MPB. You will know your hair loss is quickening when the recommendation is a facial tattoo.

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I had a haircut yesterday for the first time in eight years! The hairdresser said "OK, so we'll go from extra-extra long to extra-long?" Afterwards I did the street thing you describe. Substitute shop window for shadow. Random strangers complimented my hair, so... Win? By the way my friend Jonny has a bald-mullet, I mean full bald and a mullet on the back, and he's one of the coolest guys I know.

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How about one of those yoga-bro topknots? Ageing is hilarious. Armpit hair fades away, legs lose their warm mat of thermal cladding and weird hairs turn up in places you definitely did didn't ask for. thank goodness for pubes - reliably there, right past middle-age.

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My hairs start falling in piles if i take a shower later than usual (my hair type's between near oily-oily, so i need to take a shower every 2-3 days, a routine which i occasionally either forget to follow or intentionally don't wanna follow). And about mysteries, the only mystery i haven't been able to solve in the entirety of 33 years i've lived on this planet so far is this: "Whenever i wanna do sth that i know is good for me, why doesn't my "good, obedient, enthusiastic girl" self doesn't step into the spotlight and my "stubborn, insubordinate, naughty, jerky girl" self does so??????"

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Are you planning to keep the fringe in the back thingy?

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Don't sweat it. My hubby's been balding since his early 20's (he sometimes jokes that it's all my fault). We're currently working on our 43rd year of marriage, so the hair thing was obviously not a big deal to me. He's adorable, no matter what his hair is doing. Of course I'm speaking as a person with crazy Harry Potter hair that does whatever it wants, so I guess there's a bit of pot vs. kettle going on...

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Oh no! The balding. Hubby had the most thick, gorgeous hair when we met. Throughout his 30s and 40s his hair stylist used a thinning device. He suddenly started balding in his 50s. I blame the thinning thingy.

3. I want to know more about Helma’s wig. 😉

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It was definitely the thinning thingy.

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This made me LOL.

My dad was bald and he looked cool, he had that Jean Luc Picard thing going and a mustache.

During the pandemic, I cut my husband’s hair, I retired out of sheer laziness. I cut my own hair.

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I'm not balding but my beloved has a patch that looks remarkably similar to yours. He's 66 tomorrow. Perhaps yours will keep its status quo for a few more decades.

My hair...well, age changes things. It used to be long and blond and now I have streaks of white-ish framing my face which my hairdresser tells me people come in and pay a lotta money to get, so lucky me. I don't really know what the heck to do with it these days and I don't actually care nearly as much as I used to, but I do worry about not caring as much, lol.

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forget your writing — shouldn’t we be paying for your hair transplant in Mexico??

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oh and tell Lauren I think your haircut is cute

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1. Not balding, but my cut it meant to make my hair look as thick as it used to be. Because, by now you've gathered, it is not as thick as it used to be.

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5. Why self-esteem doesn't come in a bottle. Like, even an expensive one I could save up for. I would, you know. Maybe even sell my car. But not only does it not, it cannot. I'm still trying to figure that out. In therapy, of course. Let's be real. That's where all the big mysteries are solved. Or accepted to be forever unsolved. Whichever.

6. Shorter than I want. It was an accident. But I cut my own hair too, and the curls got curlier with this cut, therefore it got shorter. Extra problem with that is it's a little helmety now. It'll grow, though. It's just hair.

7. Absolutely. They make everyone look like a thief and serial killer. I've not been around one person who didn't look sketch on one, but in real life, they just look like people. I mean, maybe still thieves and serial killers, but they don't have the look, you know? The cameras, though. It's like they have a 1970s aviator glasses polo shirt white van filter. Rooooof stooooof.

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Male pattern balding is extremely rude, especially the tendency to show up uninvited in photographs. It almost gave my Dad a heart attack in 1987. Thank you for writing through your tribulation, I needed to laugh a little today.

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Mullet as koan. Wow. 🤯

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