56 Comments

what percentage of salad do you still eat with your bare hands

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I’d say it’s gone up to about 80

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Both not enough and too much

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OMG Whyldier is TWO?! Happy birthday little man.

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Not even close to his name spelling

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That’s not what he told me

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What, so you get off on making people cry? You monster.

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Uh oh they figured me out

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Seriously. WTF?? 🥹😢😭

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This hit as I was thinking about my essay for the week, which was also a kind of ode to my kid, who I didn’t realize is almost exactly a year older than yours? How’d I not know that. Anyway, fine job. The performance review was a great foil to the tender sweetness that came next. As always, I loved it.

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🧡🧡🧡 thank you Nicci !!

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This post was both hilarious and touching 🥲. The following made me laugh out loud: "you drop shit and then say ‘wha happen?’. Later in life this is called gaslighting"—ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

My daughter is turning 30 in a week and I will *always* miss holding her like you're holding your son in that photo.

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God I miss it already he was such a nugget. Now he’s a nugget but XL

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His rapper name! XL NUGGET

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This was deliciously funny and charming. It brought me back to when my twins were little. They are 26 now. My son was the comedian-- physical humor. I wrote down all the funny things my kids did and had to scrounge up goofy daughter things. Dylan was the star in that “Book of Cute.”Now he is the quiet one, listening, and will suddenly deliver a one liner that has everyone laughing out loud. He’s also a mechanical engineer and I hope his co workers know how funny he is. Teaching Wilder to be true to himself (within civilized parameters) is key. Love the photo. ❤️

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Hahahaj omg ur kids sound great! It also reminds me that it’s ok if he doesn’t wanna become a comedian and I have to be okay with that

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I try not to be a regrets guy. You could always have done more (or less) or different. The very best thing, and the most valued in their eyes, are notes or letters (or Substack posts) we write to our children at some moment in time. Your memories will never be the same as the day you wrote it. Your son will one day treasure this.

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Beautifully put Mark thank you

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My brother was born when I was 2. And I was no longer the center of my parents' universe. Life is tough 😭🤣

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Hahaha

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Wish I'd had a dad like you....

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❤️🥺🧡

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I'll be getting around to writing about all of this later.

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Alex, This is so beautiful. I think it’s my fav post so far. I love the performance review. And the gaslighting...amazing. What a kid you’ve got! It brought me back to when my son was two- he was also very attached to mama which was hard on both papa and mama. And you made a salad joke! Who knew salad could be so funny?

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Hahahah omg thank you. This made my week

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dear alex,

thank you for sharing! here are all the answers:

Do you remember life at two? Any tips for my son?

i don't remember a lot, but i believe a friend of mine bit me at my 2nd birthday party. so, tell your son to look out for that guy. his name is lee.

If the 2-year old version of you could communicate his thoughts and feelings into readable English, what advice do you think they’d give to you?

market this magical ability i have! unless everyone has it! then just feed me!

Everyone shows love differently - if you’re a parent how do you show it to your kids? Is it different than how your parents were with you?

i don't have kids. i love you!

What training should I make sure to give Wilder to ensure he becomes a Big Comedic Success

whatever you do, he'll be able to turn it into Big Comedic Success. so you can do nothing. and that's what will do it for him! or do something. and that's what will do it. also he might not want to do comedy. what if he rebels? if you really want him to get into comedy, maybe you have to stop doing comedy? or keep doing it. whichever you want!

love,

myq

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Ur right dude. If I do comedy he’s gonna become the opposite like an accountant

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so all that remains is for YOU to become an accountant then i think

coming soon: "Both Are True: I am a comedian AND an accountant"

then your son won't know WHAT to do!

and he'll have to decide for himself

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My advice as someone who has raised three epic sons and three epic daughters - or rather who raised me? Just love them to the best of your ability.

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Wait what??? Six children??? No way.

Surely you must have more tips (or things not to do) ????

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Sure. Like most grandmothers I have tons of advice but my children have taught me not to bore them. I learned being boring is the first sin.

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Happy birthday to Wilder! This is yet another funny and touching piece.

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🧡🧡🧡

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Look at Alex being such a big cutie with his getting bigger cutie.

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It’s absolutely classic stuff

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Loved this so much. Such a wonderful way to keep in touch with Wilder and his parents. What you describe is so universal and yet so individual--both unite in an incredible way to give a deep and sensitive portrait. Thank you Alex (and Wilder) (and Lauren)

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🧡🧡🧡

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This squeezed on my heart so much, I'm incapable of answering your questions with any clarity.

You're savoring all the little moments and that's the key. Keep doing that. There will be lots more to savor in years 3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 ... (that's as far as I've gotten with mine)

Love that you wrote this for your kiddo.

And for me!

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thank you! gonna keep trying to savor haha

i keep wanting to keep a notebook of all the moments but then there's no time, so I'm glad that my 'ahh i need to write something for substack' and the need to have a notebook can sort of work together haha

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Yes! Substack is just like a diary... one that 3,000 people are reading. 😊And loving, btw. Keep it coming.

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