28 Comments

dang I thought Marc Maron was bro-y-er

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many think this. he's actually a softie sweetheart who is just scared so he's mean

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oh wait I was thinking of this guy, 100% bro https://markmanson.net/not-giving-a-fuck

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oooo see when I think UPS store I think arc-shaped counter and not L-shaped

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that's genuinely fucked

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fuck I need taco bell

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fuck I also need some eggplant parm

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eggplant parm taco

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you'll get kicked out of LA for that

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Businesses be like "we don't process enough packaged to justify a second employee" and not count the literally half or more of the line that just gave up and left. I've been Bumbleboy. His life is hell.

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May we all praise bumbleboy and the sacrifices he makes for the shipments of this here united sale.

Maybe i should print this all out and give it to him

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Funny, we've all been there, in that line, frustrated. I will now think of this post the next time I'm waiting impatiently. Thanks for all the visuals!

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haha of course! Glad you dug it :)

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Thanks for the shout out Alex! BTW, Commuters will probably be published in a local lit mag here, super excited about that. And looking forward to reading your piece 🙂

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That’s great news Oleg!

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YOOOOO congrats dude that's awesome!!

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It was the support you and other people gave me that pushed me to submit it in the first place. So thanks to you mate!

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Alex I think we go to the same UPS store. I loved this post so much! It had ALL the things!

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hahahah this was a very Cafe Anne sorta post full of zany characters lolol i'm glad you dug it!

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The Waiting Line From Another World. The frustration that is all too familiar.

"There was still much conflict, much darkness, and yes we were still stuck here forever, but now we were laughing."

Brilliant names of the Survivors, a Z-list lineup of superheroes on weekend errands, BumbleBoy, PurpleCamo and Maron1.0, or just a cast of characters for a Netflix show.

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just pitched this to Netflix. They're in.

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Loved this, especially how you turned it back on yourself to see yourself through the eyes of others. Also highly recommend the paid version to hear your voice!

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aw thank youuuuuuu!! glad you dug the voice version!!

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Yepyepyep ❤️

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u said it

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This was soooooo necessary... everything just seems so heavy right now. This had me laughing out loud. Thank you!

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This was the best thing I’ve read all week. Usually I’m eyeballs deep in politics and other equally depressing writings. This was funny but real. Thank you for the laughs and the introspection where I didn’t expect to find any.

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fun!

some specific funs:

-- "a chair or a pen or a diet coke"

-- "Somehow I know already that she was the best of us, and she is gone."

(GOOD NEWS: IF SHE WAS THE BEST AND SHE IS GONE, THEN SOMEONE ELSE IS THE NEW BEST! IT COULD BE YOU!)

-- "undercover in a field of eggplants"

-- "my Blonde Brother" / "my Prius Twin"

-- "MicroMaron" / "BetaMaron"

-- "my astonished chagrin"

-- "Everyone still left in this godforsaken place starts to laugh, myself included" (BEAUTIFUL!)

-- "LOST to the world but perhaps finally FOUND to each other."

-- "messy guy, looks like he has to go to the bathroom or something. Impatient. Huffing. Acting like this whole world is built for him."

-- "Bumbleboy is the Queen of the Bees aka Beeyonce aka a fucking hero" (REDEMPTION! EVERY TIME!)

a beautiful tale!

PS (a PS for U about UPS):

UPS sounds like a place for mistakes because its name looks like it could be pronounced OOPS

(I MAY TWEET SOMETHING LIKE THIS! THANK YOU FOR THE INSPIRATION!)

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