127 Comments

But really, this substack gave me a place to be weird and creative in the comments. I love it.

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*grooving silently in this comment space*

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I have no idea who this "Alex Dobrenko" man is or why he tagged me. Is this a cry for help of some kind? My girlfriend just laughed at the "sneeze" insult. Should I sue?

Good tips though. I think tip no. 1 is absolutely bang-on.

And further to that:

I know we all agonise about showing up enough and sending out newsletters regularly enough (I'm writing this while overdue on my latest one), but I reckon Alex is right: hardly anyone remembers us until we show up in their Inboxes. On average, everyone's too overwhelmed to remember us. So maybe the best thing we can do is work on our stuff until it's Really Really Damn Good and THEN send it out, because until it arrives, nobody cares, so we'd better make a good job of MAKING them care.

Anyway, whoever this "Alex" is, he clearly needs professional help, but he's not wrong about this newsletter stuff.

Don't tell him I responded to his random, out-the-blue mention. He'll just start acting like we're, you know, good friends or something. And that would be intolerable.

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Definitely sue.

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BAT 4 EVER

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It's like you reached into my brain and pulled out all my deepest Substack insecurities and then gave me the secrets to the universe. Bookmarking this for my next regularly scheduled Substack spiral!!!

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I’m trying to figure out how to be moderately successful/not a total failure on Substack without selling my soul. I don’t have the energy to make it a big thing. I write hard and I write my best, but I’m not already a famous writer so I feel like I need to do 6666 other things to make it work and I say “ok I will” but then I get overwhelmed and next thing I know I’m asleep on the couch drooling on myself and/or my dog.

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And your dog is grateful. Keep writing so you will fall asleep on your sofa drooling on your happy writer’s dog. That’s an achievement right there.

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3. Whether or not to start a Substack.

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If you start a newsletter on Substack and post for 14 weeks in a row, you'll be in the top 16% of Substack writers. (stats from Substack) How cool is that! And totally doable. You don't need some mega goal to get started. You just need one small step at a time.

Have you been thinking about starting one? I'd love to hear what you're thinking of writing about. Once you start verbalizing it to others out loud, it becomes real. 💚

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I started a Substack in April, got three subscribers, including my parole officer and my mom, but am down to only one subscriber again. My parole officer.

I write about interesting stuff, too, like the difference in taste between canned fruit in light syrup or heavy syrup, and what’s with those little red cherry things in canned fruit cocktail? Do they grow on trees or are they manufactured for mind control?

I think the Illuminati has something to do with how many subscribers some of us get, because they don’t want us to get the truth to people.

I need to sign off now, because it’s almost dark and I need to check my perimeter fence.

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Love this!! I lean on consistency a lot because it helps in exponential growth. I write about personal growth and intentionality, and honestly writing every week s the best way to learn and grow because I'm more observant and read so much more.

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Yes, good thoughts!

BTW, I've asked Substack to consider adding a new category for Personal Growth or Self Improvement. So many writers cover that area yet there isn't a category for it. Out of curiosity, what category do you use?

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Oh I agree, I was a bit shocked too when I saw there was no category about personal growth here. But that's an amazing suggestion. I currently use Health& Wellness because nothing else really fits in perfectly. What about you?

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Yay. So glad you agree! I started out with Health & Wellness. In the makeover for Kindness Magnet (that I'm working on now), I realized I could use Education as my main category and then Health & Wellness as the secondary. Neither one is very good.

So....you can actually submit a request to Substack through this handy dandy link. https://support.substack.com/hc/en-us/requests/new

Just select that you're a writer, then they ask you to choose the reason and there's an option for feature request. I asked for either Personal Growth or Self Improvement.

Self Improvement is the #1 book category on Amazon. I'm surprised that Substack doesn't use it.

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True ❤️

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That's a really interesting statistic.

So despite, tens of thousands of Substacks, most are ad hoc or hobby stacks, is that the takeout?

I've been thinking about it all year, and yes, we're in October already. 😱🤦‍♀️

Mostly want to work on some fiction, which is an exceptionally hard sell on Substack. But fiction is a hard sell anywhere these days. Options are many, but gathering an audience all but impossible.

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I was surprised at the stats, too. I've been writing Kindness Magnet for a couple of years, but a few months ago I started a 2nd Substack, After 21 Club. Each week I'd get an email from Substack, congratulating me on writing for another week haha! At 14 weeks I got the one that said top 16%. I was shocked. Looks like a lot of people start a Substack and stop or give up or pause....

You might check out Sharron Bassano, who writes 'Leaves'. She had written a number of non-fiction books but really wanted to write fiction, so she started her Substack. She writes a variety of things....from 50 word challenges to short pieces to a novel (which she has published on her Substack). When she started she simply knew that she wanted to write fiction....didn't really know how that would turn out. You might enjoy reading her work...and maybe get some ideas. Here's the link to her Substack: https://sharronbassano.substack.com/

Also...just wondering about your thinking for a Substack. Is this a money making kind of thing or just because you want to write, or both? It can take a while to build up an audience. From experience, though, I can say that it's very rewarding when you start engaging through comments with your readers. So...something for you to consider.

And....since it's only October, you still have time.😁🍁🎄

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Thanks for the link to Sharron's newsletter, much to explore. (So many Substacks, it's good to have the story behind the recommendation.)

Those encouraging auto emails sound terrifying. 😂

At some point I need to make a living, which I'd prefer to be on my own terms, not in an office. Fiction isn't a path to an income, alas, and neither is Substack.

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It's definitely a marathon.

What if you could turn that last sentence around... fiction is a path to income and so is Substack... would that help you get started? There are fiction writers here who are making money on Substack.

Of course, there are other ways to make money without technically being in an office.

Anyhow, I'm rooting for you!

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Caz I write fiction here, and kinda agree with you, BUT the accountability and public nature of Substack has helped me explore a story that would’ve only existed inside my brain had I not taken the plunge into these lonely icy waters. So that’s worth the price of admission! Maybe the audience does or doesn’t arrive here per se but maybe the work you do here will launch something somewhere else in the future.

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Oh, the lonely icy waters. An apt metaphor.

Yes, holding myself accountable is probably 90% of my thinking when it comes to a Substack, and this platform wouldn't preclude other outlets or writing endeavours. It's not a zero sum game. This is where I've landed. The rest is just routine fear.

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Yes, exactly! The fear-resistance fest is definitely a thing though. Is there one particular variety of fear tripping you up, aside from audience? (ideas seem too weird, ideas will run dry, lack of consistency…)

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Okay, I'll play. Not in any particular order:

1. Look at all the people writing on Substack! Look at them! ALL of THEM!

2. Flip-flop procrastination has gone on for so long that I've burst my own balloon. (See, I'm still holding the pin.)

3. Every attempt at writing a story will read like a good third draft high speed rail options paper for the prime minister. (Of course it will. Seriously.)

4. Too late. Too little. (Idiot. Idiot. Idiot.)

5. Doing nothing sounds good. Absolutely nothing. So good.

6. Beating my own path, for once, which leads to a cliff, a tangle of poison ivy, and a deficit of rhythm.

7. Dying with this one regret. (Plus the other 3265. But really just this one.)

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You could start with writing about something you are passionate about or even things that irritate the heck out of you. Anything to get the ball rolling. Give it a go, this place is huge so that we all can have a say in something.

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You can do it!

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You're kind!

BTW, I finally finished redoing a lifetime of photo albums recently. It only took me around 15 years, but I got there!

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Well done! Sometimes these things are better done slowly. They will bring you years of pleasure.

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You got this, doll.

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start one! what would you write about?

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Mostly, I'd like to try some fiction, with occasional forays into rants, opinion, or essays, if the mood strikes.

On Substack, fiction is a path to nowhere. 😟

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IM NOT CRYING YOURE CRYING

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How in the world do you gain subscribers that aren’t friends or family from real life ? I’ve got 37 wonderful subscribers who all feel compelled to subscribe bc they love me independently. Boring! I want strangers and randos!

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Set up a Venmo account and pay them money to read!

Or trade. I’ll subscribe to your post if you subscribe to mine. I’m strange AND rando.

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i like the cut of your jib, switter, you've got a deal... no one else has cut to the core of my problem like you: i've been asking subscribers for money when I should be giving them money, possibly in a wonka-esque fashion that results in their prize coming with a side of bizarre death

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I have quite a few 100 trillion dollar bank notes from Zimbabwe, so money isn’t a problem for me like it is for the poorer sorts. I tried to send a hundred trillion to Biden a few weeks ago to pay off the national debt, buy a few new aircraft carriers, and with what’s leftover, buy Greenland, but for real this time. The bank said no, they would not help me. Jealousy can be so hurtful.

P.s. I signed up for your stack. Did you sign up for mine? If not, just know that I have certain very specialized skills, honed through long years of experience, and ready to put to use. (Did I mention that blackmail and coercion are also excellent ways to lure in new subscribers.)

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rest assured i am now a loyal switterer 🫡 happy to be aboard this abundantly wealthy ship, looking forward to seeing how many trillions i can make in Zimbabwe through this fruitful partnership

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For guys like me, a couple hundred trillion is just walking around money.

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Woof indeed! I like posts like this and read them always but i think there is a certain flavour which each person brings to their 'how i got to 340320430 subbies' posts and i only read the ones that have a flavour i like. does this make sense?

I wrote an album over the last year, kind of wrote it on substack, and it was really cool, and i'm wondering... should I release my album via substack somehow? is that something that could work? I am heavily debating whether to ask someone substack-smart like Erin Shetron for advice on this... that is my 'biggest thing' im figuring out about substack right now, i think. man i said 'substack' so many times in this paragraph

One good thing about my life that has nothing to do with the internet is that i went to the gym today and did muscle-person things and it felt pretty good

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11. Be an idiot. This is exactly how I’ve approached my Substack. My baseline is I’m the biggest dumb stupid idiot that has ever written and so what? I’m writing now suckers so come look at my pictures and read my ridiculous stories and if you take it seriously than you’re the stupid one because I don’t take it seriously at all (I take it so seriously)

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Like Groucho Marx refusing to belong to a club that would accept someone like him?

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I swear there’s some deep issue in America with produce. Carrots are sweet. Please!

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and full-size carrots, please! none of this watery sad baby nonsense

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honestly! they can't grow full sized carrots any more so now they're pretending they're meant to be this way >(

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Right? If you know where I can find a decent cantaloupe let me know.

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Europe!

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Inspiring and useful I read all 6666 points, I didn’t skim and jump straight to the end skipping over the middle they are all there!

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This is so wonderful, Alex!! I think every new writer on Substack would benefit from reading this as part of getting into a rhythm. Thank you for sharing.

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This was so funny and so liberating. Most of the time I despise these “how to get famous on Substack” things because my favourite way to feel is that it’s out of my control. Writing regularly? Writing well? Nothing to do with it!

But thank you! This made me feel good 💓made me smile and my favourite tip was the rerun, something I’ve thought about but never done.

Here’s to ya!

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The best!

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“And also big ups to the confabs which is a writer’s group I made with Anne Kadet , Jane Ratcliffe , and Michael Estrin – they listen to my bullshit and care about me like I’m family and that means more and more the longer I think about it dang.” Aww I feel the same!!!

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Me, too!!

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I write mostly about food and culture, but not really about cooking (nobody cares) and historically have tried to include a recipe (that nobody made) in each post because that’s what the internet tells you is the product of value for a “food blog.” I’m working through whether to drop recipes for some/all posts (doesn’t matter).

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