47 Comments

1. stuffies make everything better

2. the loneliness of life is so real, ugh

3. another thing that's real is that yesterday my therapist recommended a book called 'mind magic' about manifestation and I thought to myself, alex would fucking hate this and it made me smile and feel less alone (because I think I hate it too even though i'm probably gonna read it) and isn't that so nice that even when we're alone maybe someone is thinking about us and feeling less alone

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God I hate that book but lmk how it is I’ll gladly read it and do whatever it says

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wow can't believe you didn't acknowledge that MARch is all about me and my wedding anniversary to MARk

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Well this is big news

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ur the new Dave Barry!!!!!!!

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How do I monetize this

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first u gotta steal the declaration of independence

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You are so very fucking hilarious, Alex. Thanks for helping me with 2025. And I think you *did* figure out both Jack and Jill during your break: "But I don’t think that’s why most of the 300+ of you pay for Both Are True. I think you pay cuz you love my writing which blows my gourd right off." That's it. You figured it out.

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Ilu BA

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😘

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1. Living the dream 2. Real-ly fast 3. I'm a clock going round and round waving my hands. 4. Emerge from the cocoon, even if I emerge as one of those fat hairy dull brown somewhat repugnant moths....emerge. 5. Five, five, five, let's sing a song of five.

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Yes

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So happy the year is already over. Now I can take a nap 😴.

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happy 2026 dude!

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This is our year bro

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When I was a psych student (undergrad), actually a linguistics student, work-study in a cognitive psychology lab (no electroshocking experiments or lab rats to puzzle out mazes), we talked about how things could be "or both or neither." OBON for short. That's one reason I love your substack, Alex.

We laughed a lot in that lab, too. And Reagan was about to be president. I did not vote for that candidate back then.

You figured it out. We like to laugh and we like your writing. Both those things are true.

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OBON!!!!

wait but if it’s neither then it can’t be both? And if both then not neither??

Like why we’re those grouped together as a bundle

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If I remember correctly, it was about things fitting into theories or vice versa.

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I was really hoping for 2025 to be better than 2024. Then I woke up on January 1st with severe vertigo 🤣😭 spent a couple of days in the hospital. At least I got a CT scan and MRI to rule out horrible things going on - those both looked great and normal. It’s probably a thing where the “rocks” in my head (inner ear) are out of place. Hoping to get some outpatient PT/treatments that will help.

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Sorry that sucks. Classic rocks in head

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Yep 😂

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this is the movie i was watching when the year changed.

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Then it will be a good year

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I chose a word for the year—have been doing it for over 30 years! This year’s word is UNTANGLE.

Sending good vibes to all for 2025.

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Love that. What was last years woes

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Word* but woes too

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“It’s a classic DJ Khaled situation.” Ugh May FR!!!

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The man needs to be stopped

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Wowwyyy fuckin wow wow! Absolutely brilliant. maybe my favorite thing you’ve ever written🤯

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Omg Grace thank you

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Time is an illusion. Lunchtime, doubly so.

Douglas Adams, I think? Or maybe not, I can't remember.

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Lolol

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I loved this so much. Thank you.

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Thank u

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I loved this, all of it. The dance party, yes! Time is not real, and the way in which you described each month of the year is so spot-on and frickin hilarious. I prefer to think of the year through the change of seasons; that is real to me.

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Seasons do indeed change you’re right

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