testing testing is this thing on
hopefully not
introducing…BATLAB, a laboratory for me to work through and collaborate with my demons.
And if all goes well, profit!
Two things today.
BATfessions
Inspired by Fesshole which I just learned about, I wanna do a lil confessional thing for BAT. People can submit their anonymous confessions or thoughts or really whatever and I’ll share some in upcoming Both Are True posts.
Here’s the form to submit yours.
Wait that’s sort of the only thing? Oh I guess the other thing is a possible essay I want to write called “it’s supposed to suck” about social media and a realization i had this morning while playing the game threes.
it’s supposed to suck
Ever play that game? It’s like a mathlete’s version of candy crush. You push numbers together to make bigger numbers. Three and three become six.
Six and six become twelve.
You get it.
It’s satisfying af and hard. When I finished one this morning, I heard my brain go “eh that one sucked I can do better.”
And I played again, mostly thinking about how that mindset - “eh that sucked, I could do better” - is exactly what I’m thinking as I scroll social media.
We know this. They designed the platforms like slot machines etc, but I’d not fully grasped what that meant until now.
Gambling isn’t about winning. It’s about not losing.
And when you lose, because you always lose, eventually, you think, “eh that sucked, I could do better,” so you play again.
And again.
And again.
And again.
Which is basically how scrolling works. You scroll and it sucks and so you keep scrolling because
a. if it sucks, you suck
b. you have had, on rare occasion, such profound joy or meaning or really, at base, dopamine flood your system while perusing this exact site so you know that there is a state other than ‘you suck’ out there.
Maybe this is all obvious too? I guess my point is that we often talk about how all these apps suck and aren’t fun, but what I hadn’t realized till now was that is exactly the point of them. The suck is good because it makes you want the non suck more.
Lord, have mercy on our souls.
“Obsessed”
and
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