local man sends 2nd email after 1st only gets 3 responses

you won't believe how much shame he felt afterwards (not what you think!) // BREAKING NEWS - Survey Digest

man you ever send an email and then and go ‘dagnabit i really fucked that up’ and then go ‘i gotta fix this asap lemme just send another email’ and then you DO NOT SEND THE SECOND EMAIL because you have good self control?

Must be nice.

Me? I send the second email. That’s what this story is about, but it won’t end like you think, no not at all.

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the story

So it starts like all stories do - on Thursday. Classic day for big stories that just come outta nowhere like what the heck?

Anyways it’s Thursday and I’m feeling like it’s about time to email the Both Are True readership with a little survey about their creative ‘practice’ (sic) and whether they know about the BATCAVE, a little community I’ve created for weirdos who wanna be creative to not feel so alone etc.

I want to send the email so I can:

1. See if anyone knows about the BATCAVE

2. See if there’s a real ‘need’ I can help people with

3. See if people hate me for sending emails and talking too much about the BATCAVE etc

And so I make a god damn survey and I get it ready and I decide - heck, if I’m gonna ask people questions, I oughta answer one of their questions too!

My mind is racing now and everyone around me is like ‘let him cook’ and so I cook up this little concept -

three questions and one answer

so cool!

here’s what i wrote:

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and then i wait…

but no one fills out the survey? Surely something must be wrong. is the internet down? are the email pipes clogged? maybe my email just hasn’t gotten to anyone yet? I check one of my many alt emails and lo! beho! there it is…

AN HOUR GOES BY and only three people fill out the survey which, yes, sure, is more than zero but when you send something to 17,000 people and only 3 fill it out, well that sorta math made John Nash lose his fucking mind.

not me though, all i thought was “dang the world hates me!’

no, i didnt think it, i felt it, pre-thought, deeper and earlier and more in the bones, like marrow. marrow.

anyways, I panic and decide to send a second email and then I think “NO dude do not do that you know you’re not supposed to send a second email it’ll send you spiraling into shame and self-loathing and you’ll never get out you know this you KNOW this" and it’s true, I do ‘know’ it.

did you see my last text?

in college, i’d text a girl i liked and then she wouldn’t reply and i’d melt down and often send a follow up text like:

me: yeah i feel like that could be fun if you want to go together and eat there?

(not even fifteen minutes later)

me: sorry i’m trying to ask if you want to go on a date maybe?

(two seconds later)

me: all good if not just figured I would make it clear

(no time passes)

me: wrong text sorry lol

me: no i’m joking sorry i just panic a little with this sort of thing and i’ll stop now

her: hey sorry i’m busy tonight!

me: no worries! sorry about the weird texts, cya!!

this got so bad that my friends instituted a nuclear code policy where two of them had to approve any text message i sent to a girl

but they were not here when i wanted to send the second email so I….sent a second email.

the second email

Here it is. I personally think the Survey Digest bit is strong.

And I readied myself for the shame to come.

But the shame did not come! I felt…good. I felt like myself. This was surprising, because they teach you to not act on your insane impulses (which is the right advice a lot of the time, especially when dealing with other people, its a fine line between being cooky endearing anxious and harassing someone)

I wrote the second email from a place of deranged yet respectful truth, even if it did make me look like a moron, which made the shame dissipate rather than expand.

This was a revelation. An important truth. I’d been dancing with the devil of my own shame quite intensely lately, and this seemed like one more gut punch in making it step the fuck away for a little while.

I’d much rather be the person who sends a bunch of emails that are honest and make me look terrible than send one email that makes me look professional and perfect and like a great guy.

great guys are out

messy idiots are in

BUT - again - you really do gotta read the room and other people because i fear this could be an excuse to do shitty stuff. don’t do shitty stuff!

instead, fill out this survey!

omg was this all just promo for the survey??

NO.

that’d be so fucked.

it’s also promo for tomorrow’s BATWRITE from 12-2pm EST. A coworking hang space for you to come and write and do creative work and just hang.

It is VERY LOW PRESSURE and A VERY NICE TIME and I’d honestly love to have you!

BATWRITE is for paid subscribers of BAT.

if you want to come to tomorrow’s BATWRITE for free to test it out, reply to this email and I will send you the link so you can have a test run.

seriously hit reply to this email if you wanna try it out

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Ok, that’s it for today. Shame levels are…low. It’s like a weather report. We’ve got low shame levels currently and for the forseeable future but, as all of you out there know, shame can hit outta nowhere like a trash truck on Tuesday (or whatever day you put your bins out).

I love yall for real thank you for letting me be a weirdo.

Sash

oh one more thing: i’m about to send this and go home (its 624pm here) and that’s later than i usually come home and lauren will see that i sent this email and go ‘wow, you stayed working late to send…this?’ but she doesn’t realize that i did a bunch of work for money before this AND that this email might just make a lot of people become paid subscribers RIGHT FOLKS????