i want to be good but i am bad - help?

at what point are we no longer able to change our brains?

What’s up and HELLO.

Let’s get into it!! For those of you who are new here, this is Help Wanted, an advice column and the only place that I, a comedy writer with a psychology degree, am legally allowed to give advice.

Want advice? Your question/conundrum/pickle can be SS (super serious) or DAAD (dumb as a doorknob) or anywhere in between. I’ll answer them.

Submit your questions to botharetrue@substack.com.

Q: At what point are we no longer able to change our brains?

Alex, I've always been a quiet, reserved, melancholy person. One of my main aspirations in life is to raise a family. But I come from a family dynamic riddled with mental illness, abuse, and generational dysfunction, which I've personally been addressing in therapy for about 7 years now (I'm 30). 

Still, I have a string of failed romantic relationships, unhealthy patterns and can't seem to keep up with neurotypical expectations. I try so hard to do better and change; to be the person I want to be -- loving, nurturing, fun, friendly, trusting, stable. But I always fall back into being a depressive, irritable, woman-who-can't-manage-her-own-shit adult child. My current partner is at their last straw, ready to leave, and I don't know what else to do with myself. 

Is there a point at which a human just can't improve their behaviors anymore? Am I stuck like this forever? What else should I do? 

- Lou (Portland, OR)

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