I hate the 'if you can do any other job, you should' bullshit that successful artists say. Its not true. And it has messed with my head for so long. The first guy who said it was Louie CK, may he rest in hell.
I believed him and was like ‘shit, I could do other jobs, does that mean I shouldn’t try being an artist?”
No way, Joseph.
I can do many other jobs but I choose not to because they would make me miserable and not in a cute way.
Does that mean I'm happy now? No. I don't even know if happiness is the goal. People who are happy scare me. It's unnatural.
I prefer a nice blend of cynicism and blind hope - knowledge that the world is fucked AND an unfounded belief that still, somehow someway, things will work out for those who are talented enough to go for it, to reach their dreams, to find their way and MAKE IT HAPPEN. I also hate this brand of self improvement bootstraps 5 ways to wake up before 4am bullshit but let’s focus on one bad thing at a time.
What if this is it? This life of substack and podcast and a role in a movie every seven years? And if so does it beat the alternative, a life doing marketing for Google excuse me Alphabet or Facebook excuse me Meta? Helping the synergy of the algorithm on its way to the crypto metaverse of goodies and, yes, also gumdrops?
I don't know.
(excited voice) But join me on this journey of artistic discovery and let’s find out together!
But actually I do know. And the answer is yes. I think you should do what you can when you can even if you’re able to do other things too. Because life is a short king and we better enjoy it, or else, I dunno, it will be less great and who wants that?
I like this poem from Bukowski that speaks to this so here ya go:
The Laughing Heart
by Charles Bukowski
your life is your life don’t let it be clubbed into dank submission. be on the watch. there are ways out. there is light somewhere. it may not be much light but it beats the darkness. be on the watch. the gods will offer you chances. know them. take them. you can’t beat death but you can beat death in life, sometimes. and the more often you learn to do it, the more light there will be. your life is your life. know it while you have it. you are marvelous the gods wait to delight in you. -- by Charles Bukowski
I’m very grateful I came to your writing from Side Channel. It’s really wonderful.
This is great, Alex. I've done so many different jobs to pay the rent over the past decade. There is no worse feeling than working a job you hate (or, are simply indifferent about) just to pay the bills. It numbs you.
I was actually thinking lately -- sometimes, I get upset with myself for *not* pursuing a more traditional career path, or for closing certain doors. (At 36, shouldn't my resume be more coherent??) What I've realized is, consciously or not, I've been closing doors subconsciously as a way of forcing myself to focus on what animates me, what makes life worth living.
I wish I'd closed doors myself, consciously and younger, but better late than never.
Here's to truly living!