It has come to my attention that you all think i am some sort of rich man.
Mr. Substack, you all call me. A sort of Moneybags McStack of the internet age.
Against the advice of my family, friends, and well-resourced legal and accounting teams, I shall now reveal the truth.
how it began
The other night I spoke to my friend Jack.
Like most men, Jack has a father.
Jack’s father is a lawyer.
Jack’s father called up Jack and asked, “Does Dobrenko make enough on Substack to do it full time?”
“He makes some money, but I think its supplemental,” Jack replied.
“I don’t know, Jack,” his dad replied, “he’s got a ton of followers. I figure he’s gotta make like 80, 100k. Ask him, I bet he does.”
80! 100k!!
To be clear, that’s $80,000 or $100,000.
I laughed when I heard that, and then I threw myself into the LA river.
Everyone laughed and said, “what a silly rich writer he is!”
the truth
I make 12k a year from this Substack. It used to be more but the number has dropped. The chart above looks like a 2-hump camel. Wednesday Wednesday, that’s what they’d call that camel. Wednesday Wednesday.
This is a fascinating amount, for it is both more than I’ve ever made on a creative project AND, when it comes to making a living, supporting your family, and assuring your wife that yes, we will have enough money for a down payment, it’s very little indeed.
Both are true!
Herein lies my predicament.
On the left hand: real people, strangers with no connection to me or my family, read my work and, upon doing so, decide to pay for it.
This is bonkers.
It tells me that there’s something here. That the dancing ghouls in my brain are of interest to some small group of people out in the world.
On the right hand: Not only do I not make enough to in a year to cover a measly quarter of a down payment on a home, but I somehow give off the impression that I do.
That I’m Daddy Warbucks over here with his $100,000 and combo yacht-jet (it flies, it lies, i’m rich!)
why this is happening
First off let me say, this is not your fault. There are, however, reasons for why this is happening:
For one, I’ve toned down my asking for $ because I thought it wasn’t cool. I pivoted to the BATCAVE (super dope community with five live events every month for cowriting and community), which has been awesome but hasn’t (yet) resulted in turning this ol’ ship around.
For two, the economy and etc. They really outta change the word tariff to tarwhen because there’s nothing if about them, am I right America? These lil suckers have got us by the *****.
The biggest reason though is pretty simple: everyone assumes that a) things are going great for me and b) other people are paying to make it so.
It’s the creator’s bystander effect - everyone thinks someone else will heed the ‘support my art’ call and thus no one does.
the numbers and the facts and the math therein
There are about 284 of you who pay for both are true.
That’s fucking amazing.
It’s also about 1.6% of the total # of people here.
If we bumped that up to 5%, I’d be rich. My math guys can’t even do the math on how much money I’d be making.
They did however pull together the calculations for what’d happen if we got to 2.5% of all BAT subscribers.
I’d go from 12k a year to 18k a year.
That’s a big jump!!
From there, 100k is easy to pull off. I’ve got several books that tell me so and books never lie.
And I really think it’s possible because I believe, based on all the kind things you all say about my writing, that there are another 153 of you who are able and willing to support this lil guy and his lil art???
Is that crazy?
Yes, but so was making the tower of piza lean like that - everyone said ‘no way will that work it’ll topple right over’ and now look at it!!
Does asking this way make me wanna hurl? You bet your butt!
But what else can I do? I can’t help that I exude 80-100k airs of success! That’s a good thing, actually, but I would love to, ya know, make the money commensurate with such airs.
I’ve gone to the bank loan people and said, “Jack’s dad says he thinks I make 100k a year.” That’s great, they said, and they were proud of me, but they couldn’t do a loan based on just that.
I knocked the table over and then ran from computer to computer subscribing people to Both Are True but asked each person if they wanted to upgrade to paid or not and they all said no.
side note: I no longer support Bank of America in any way.
my earnest ask is simply this
If you regularly read this newsletter
AND
Have the financial means to do so
MAY I ASK YOU TO CONSIDER
becoming part of the 2.5% of people who pay
WHO
Make my creative life possible
AND
Ensure this newsletter continues regular publication
AND
fulfills the hope and promise of the Both Are True Industries and Theme Parks
WHICH IS
no joke, what you’ll see on your bank statements.
faq
Q: what about all the other cool people who write great stuff
A: There are millions of artists out there whose work deserve support. In fact, Jack and his dad both have amazing Substacks.
Jack writes deep dive essays into film criticism that should be in the New Yorker.
His dad,
, writes . I just started reading it and it’s VERY GOOD. The latest piece on poet Edna St. Vincent Millay was difficult to put down and thus I read it all the way through.Go subscribe to them both too. Pay them too if you can.
Q: I want to support you but not via subscription or inside Substack
A: You can!! Here’s my Paypal and here’s my Venmo. If you want my Zelle just reply and I’ll send you the details.
Q: I already support your work what the hell
A: THANK YOU!!! You’re literally the best person alive. I cannot express enough how much it means to me. It’s insane. Thank you. I’ll soon make 1.6% shirts and mugs so you know that you’re part of the earliest of adopters. You are my hero, baby, let me wash away your pain etc.
Q: I already support you AND want to support more
A: Upgrade your subscription! Tell your friends! Gift a subscription to the batcave to your friends too. There’s so many ways to keep the BAT alive in your heart.
Q: Bro I can’t afford jack shit what the hell
A: THAT IS OKAY!! I want you to keep reading all of this for free forever. I really am trying to reach the people here who both love BAT and can throw around some cash right now. You’re golden. I love you the most actually but don’t tell anyone else I said that.
Q: Don’t you have a full time job what the hell
A: I do not! I went down to part time at Sublime and have been lucky enough to land some new badass clients (shout out to my new fams you know who you are) BUT the work is month-to-month!
Which I love but who knows what the hell could happen!
They might read this and decide they don’t want my help anymore.
It just all feels so fucking uncertain and makes me wanna jump into a river from a very low bridge such that I’d just hit the water and float a while nothing violent just a swim!
Q: Are you ok bud?
A: I am! I think I am? As I wrote recently I am “titrating” on my antidepressants which I am hoping to god will make me lose some weight but who knows!! Oh also I hope to not get too sad. But it is making me emotional. Raw, like wrestling. Honest, like the baby soap. Vulnerable, like the WAIT WHY IS THERE NO BRAND NAMED VULNERABLE.
Q: Alex?
A: Present!
Q: I’m still here what the hell
A: I’m as surprised as you but maybe that’s a sign that you do really want to pay for both are true.
Q: Wait do I get anything for subscribing?
A: YES you get to be part of the BATCAVE which, for some of my paying subscribers, is the whole reason why they pay! You get to attend four live cowriting sessions a month and one live virtual hang a month. Wow!
Also if you choose the $250 amount, you get a 1:1 call with me and/or a full editing pass on an essay of yours.
ALSO you get to know that you’re supporting a real lil guy doing real lil work. Thank you for that.
Q: What was your fav part of this piece?
A: The leaning tower of piza joke!
I don't believe a word of this. Last night, I was chatting with Elon Musk, over tacos drizzled with Ketamine, and he said, "Dobrenko just invested $2 billion in my next company." Musk went on to describe the company as an AI tool for AI tools that are tired of doing work for lazy humans, adding, "it's also a flamethrower." Point is, Dobrenko is rich as fuck, and soon he'll be even richer. The jig is up, Alex. Everyone knows this Substack of yours is a damn digital goldmine.
yeah I feel like people need to realize this. even those of us on those dumb best seller boards are not actually earning a living or even really a side hustle off of this. i mean it's really nice and I'm not at all complaining because I love even the smallest amount of extra money. money is the best, especially when I'm the one who has it, but really we're all just sad sacks. except ted gioia I guess.